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MomEm

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #30 on: August 05, 2007, 11:32:04 AM »

I do get angry when I see someone threatening to impose restrictions on free speech.

Oh my!  I’m sorry that my comment has forced you to take to the defensive in this manner.

Like you I am against people impeding on free speech.  So I thank you for encouraging me to use my right to free speech by commenting on the poor quality jokes.

I know you're older, but in modern times in the USA most men and women both wear pants, and marriages are able to be cooperative teams, not one person dragging the other behind them.

If people waded through your cut and paste, they would see you attribute stuff to cragislist, that is how I presumed they would know that they can go there for that type of joke.  You are correct, it was presumptive of me to think people would have bothered to read through your cut and paste items to see they are attributed to craigslist.

But you did make a funny... "a stick up your butt" ... that was the big put down in 9th grade, so bravo to you for remembering that far back!

I still do not see the place for dirty jokes in a community forum.  I have learned my lesson and will not click on jokes expecting anything humorous when it is posted by you

This bickering is your funniest thing on this thread!  So for that, I say 'You're welcome'.

MomEm

Frenchfry

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #31 on: August 05, 2007, 01:55:59 PM »

Best Welfare Joke of the Year

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare.
I'd really rather have a job."


The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.
You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips.
You will have to satisfy her sexual urges.
You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is $200,000 a year."


The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're BS’ing' me!

The Social Worker says, "Yeah, well... You started it."
Logged
This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

MomEm

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #32 on: August 05, 2007, 03:32:09 PM »

MODIFIED: FrenchFry removed his posts from this thread, so the conversation is no longer complete.


Double yaaaaawn.   ::)



We does not imply majority.  We implies plural.

You have a lot of issues with the 'voted off' thread.  You keep bringing it up yet claim to not care.

I will say again that if the MEN is advertising this as a community forum and are allowing teens to register, we really should do our best to be responsible members of the community.

MomEm


« Last Edit: August 30, 2007, 11:41:39 PM by MomEm »
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Frenchfry

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #33 on: August 06, 2007, 09:11:17 AM »

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
US actor & comedian (1921 - 2004)

Logged
This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

utility slug

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #34 on: August 06, 2007, 06:32:05 PM »

alcohol abuse. :D
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KaWinkyDink

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #35 on: August 06, 2007, 08:46:37 PM »

OMG ... As Appointed Forum Mascot ...

Please Allow Me To Cart In The 55 Gallon Drum Of Midol !!!  ;D


Smash, Big Red Dog, and Semper Fi ... I believe ya'll were appointed in charge of Security.
Get On The Kryptonite Jackets!  LMAO  ;D
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Massagetherapyworks

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #36 on: August 06, 2007, 09:14:33 PM »

Did you hear about the Indian who couldn't tell heads from tails?  You should see the crazy bunch of scalps he's got.

What did the Cannibal give his wife for Valentine's Day?  A box of Farmers Fannies.

At the nursing home, all the nurses decided to go in on a hooker for their favorite patient's 90th birthday. The hooker arrived at his room and he looked up and asked "What are you here for?" She replied "I'm here for Super Sex!" He said "If it's all the same to you, I'll have the soup."
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Frenchfry

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #37 on: August 06, 2007, 10:36:21 PM »

This old Martian guy was sitting on the beach in Miami when a beautiful young woman approached him and asked. "Hey there old man. Want a date?" Realizing immediately that the woman must be a prostitute he responded, "Sure, but we have to do it the Martian way."

"The Martian way?" she asked. "I've heard of the Chinese way, the Russian way, the Mexican way, and others, but I don't recall ever learning about the Martian way. Tell you what old man, if you teach me this Martian way, since I might need to know it in my line of work, I'll do it for FREE."

The old man looks up, smiles and says 'THAT's the Martian way!"
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 12:46:24 PM by frenchfry »
Logged
This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

Lady Arbella

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #38 on: August 07, 2007, 07:38:49 PM »











I try not to make it a habit of replying to to posts just to say LOL........but those were positively hilarious.
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Frenchfry

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #39 on: August 07, 2007, 09:07:19 PM »

The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.
Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.
If they want to lug it into school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant.

"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."


She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'

Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."


Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"

This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."


Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
Logged
This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

MomEm

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #40 on: August 08, 2007, 01:05:14 AM »

people have not been criticizing submissions…..okay one but that was an aberration.

Please refer to the Monroe Talks terms of service that was agreed to when you signed up.

Please read the rules contained in this agreement carefully. Your use of and/or registration on any aspect of the Web site will constitute your agreement to comply with these rules. If you cannot agree with these rules, please do not use the Website.

You also agree that you will not post content that is.......... offensive to the Monroe County community.



Let it go already FrenchFry!  You ask to be left alone, let's try to stick to it! 
To quote a song, "Don't say that you're sorry, and I won't say I told you so."


MomEm


And the Jay Leno headline 'chicken vs real chicken' was actually funny!  Go you!
« Last Edit: August 08, 2007, 01:23:40 AM by MomEm »
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MomEm

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #41 on: August 08, 2007, 08:44:22 AM »

Please see the terms of service for this forum!


Check it out Small Fry.

MomEm

Farmer.Ted

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #42 on: August 08, 2007, 12:31:08 PM »

Can you guys take your personal battle to Private messages please?
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Frenchfry

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #43 on: August 09, 2007, 08:45:26 AM »


>   KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS:
>
>
>   KIDS IN CHURCH
>
>   3-year-old Reese:
>   "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
>   Harold is His name.
>   Amen."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   A little boy was overheard praying:
>   "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
>   I'm having a real good time like I am."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   After the christening of his baby brother in church,
>   Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
>   His father asked him three times what was wrong.
>   Finally, the boy replied,
>   "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
>   and I wanted to stay with you guys."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   One particular four-year-old prayed,
>   "And forgive us our trash baskets
>   as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
>   were on the way to church service,
>   "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
>   One bright little girl replied,
>   "Because people are sleeping."
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
>   The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
>   Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
>   "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
>   'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
>   Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
>   "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   A father was at the beach with his children
>   when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
>   grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
>   where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
>   "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
>   "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
>   The boy thought a moment and then said,
>   "Did God throw him back down?"
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   A wife invited some people to dinner.
>   At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
>   "Would you like to say the blessing?"
>   "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
>   "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
>   The daughter bowed her head and said,
>   "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?
Logged
This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

livewire

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #44 on: August 09, 2007, 09:36:07 AM »

Can you guys take your personal battle to Private messages please?

Aw, c'mon Ted.  This fight between MomEm and Frenchfry is the funniest thing on this thread.  When Mayo was told about an offensive post, he immediately apologized and removed the offensive post.  I respect that action.  It demonstrates consideration for others, which frenchfry has never done.  Frenchie's response is to argue - not very respectable on a public forum.  I have seen this behaviour in the past from the french guy, and it doesn't surprise me at all.  This 'my way or the highway' attitude is childish and selfish, and I now expect an angry response from frenchie.  Bully's don't like to be called out.

Keep up your defenses, MomEm - you're doing a good job.
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