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Categories => Miscellaneous => Topic started by: Normal Joe on October 15, 2007, 02:20:22 PM

Title: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 15, 2007, 02:20:22 PM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on October 15, 2007, 02:31:12 PM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P


Yep, sure did...LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 15, 2007, 02:35:24 PM
I'll admit I was hesitant to look...but curiosity killed my cat and I just had to peek.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: inquiringmindswanttoknow on October 15, 2007, 02:44:08 PM
no fair, LOL  thought it was going to be a juicy topic......LOL
(SOME of us dont get out much!)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 15, 2007, 02:52:22 PM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P


Yeah...but my thought was, who in their right mind would start a topic like this on this message board!? So I came in to see how detailed it would be.

Now I am disappointed :P ;DLOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on October 16, 2007, 09:43:41 PM
What? Guess that word really gets attention huh?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 17, 2007, 06:50:55 AM
This is just about as much sex that I get at home.
 ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 17, 2007, 08:54:39 AM
This is just about as much sex that I get at home.
 ;) ;) ;)
Let me guess, chips - you're married, right?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 17, 2007, 09:01:16 AM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P

so, what about sex?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 17, 2007, 09:13:01 AM
I think Normal Joe wants to know what it’s like to have sex  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on October 17, 2007, 09:19:20 AM
I think Normal Joe wants to know what it’s like to have sex  ;D

That's not very nice...LOL

 :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 17, 2007, 09:21:42 AM
happenin' somewhere right now ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 17, 2007, 09:45:57 AM
So who invented sex? ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 17, 2007, 09:49:47 AM
So who invented sex? ???

ME!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 17, 2007, 09:50:37 AM
Gore?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 17, 2007, 09:51:24 AM
Gore?

You just beat me to it!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 17, 2007, 09:53:51 AM
Nobody said Bill Clinton??
Shame on you :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on October 17, 2007, 09:57:40 AM
Nobody said Bill Clinton??
Shame on you :P

No, that's because Bill just told us what "isn't" sex...LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 17, 2007, 10:01:29 AM
Nobody said Bill Clinton??
Shame on you :P

he couldn't even define it...  how could he have invented it....     besides, did we ever decide if it was or wasn't ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 17, 2007, 10:02:15 AM
This is just about as much sex that I get at home.
 ;) ;) ;)

That's hilarious!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 17, 2007, 10:04:30 AM
It's nice to know that no matter how old we get, we still have enough energy to read, write, and think about it :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 17, 2007, 10:05:08 AM
So who invented sex? ???


God invented sex, to be used as an enjoyable experience between a husband and his wife. This was another gift that God had given us for married couples to enjoy. Unfortunatly man has distorted this gift as well. Fornication (sex outside of marriage) Audultry, and Homosexuality.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 17, 2007, 10:11:23 AM
It's nice to know that no matter how old we get, we still have enough energy to read, write, and think about it :)

When I was little we would go to visit my Great Grandparents in Lansing...   great Grandpa would mostly just sit on the front porch in his rocking chair...    he'd sit and rock and smile...   I wondered what it was that he was smiling about...   I think I've finally figured it out ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 17, 2007, 10:14:09 AM

God invented sex, to be used as an enjoyable experience between a husband and his wife. This was another gift that God had given us for married couples to enjoy. Unfortunatly man has distorted this gift as well. Fornication (sex outside of marriage) Audultry, and Homosexuality.

Also anything other than missionary. Strict no-no.

And having sex out of wedlock while eating shellfish is like speeding in the car pool lane on the highway to hell.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 17, 2007, 10:15:54 AM
Either that or he was singing "peaceful easy feeling" by the Eagles in his head!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 17, 2007, 10:16:12 AM
Gore did not invent sex.
Gore invented the snow job
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 17, 2007, 10:19:52 AM
Also anything other than missionary. Strict no-no.

And having sex out of wedlock while eating shellfish is like speeding in the car pool lane on the highway to hell.


I'm glad it was intended to be enjoyable.  With the trillion nerve endings down there it would be tough to pull off the act any other way.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 17, 2007, 10:21:18 AM
Right Answer.
God did invent sex.
God also gave a book of rules that govern sex.
When you do not obey the rules nothing good happens.
If you don't believe that, try to assemble a child's toy without reading the instructions.
It never turns out the way it should. Something is always missing.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 17, 2007, 10:22:22 AM
Also anything other than missionary. Strict no-no.

And having sex out of wedlock while eating shellfish is like speeding in the car pool lane on the highway to hell.


There you go making assumption based upon what you have heard from someone in the past, rather than sound biblical doctine. Hebrews 13:4 reads " Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators, and adulterers God will judge"  Translation: Anything that a husband and wife do in their bed is honored by God. Sex was meant to be enjoyed man distorted it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 17, 2007, 10:26:52 AM
There you go making assumption based upon what you have heard from someone in the past, rather than sound biblical doctine. Hebrews 13:4 reads " Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators, and adulterers God will judge"  Translation: Anything that a husband and wife do in their bed is honored by God. Sex was meant to be enjoyed man distorted it.

So oral and sodomy is alright?

I'm not being flippant, I'm just trying to clarify.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 17, 2007, 10:33:41 AM
So oral and sodomy is alright?

I'm not being flippant, I'm just trying to clarify.


I do not see anything in the Bible that would forbid oral sex, however you can find that sodomy is forbidden.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 17, 2007, 10:37:29 AM
I do not see anything in the Bible that would forbid oral sex, however you can find that sodomy is forbidden.

So a husband and wife cannot perform sodomy in the privacy of their own bedroom?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on October 17, 2007, 10:40:26 AM

And having sex out of wedlock while eating shellfish is like speeding in the car pool lane on the highway to hell.



Without passengers they will bust you for sure...LMAO...!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 17, 2007, 11:21:35 AM
So a husband and wife cannot perform sodomy in the privacy of their own bedroom?

I am looking at the original Hebrew context of the word sodomite because the word sodomy is not used in the Bible at all. The hebrew word for Sodomite would be Qudesh pronounced kawdashe. The word means to be a male devotee ( by prostitution) to licentious idolatry to be unclean. The people in Sodom were not able to control themselves sexually there lust had become so great that they began to act out in homosexuality as well thus came the word sodomy. As I look further into this I am not seeing any condomnation for any act that a husband may do with his wife as long as it is consentual for both parties. However any thing that is not done in faith is sin. So if I must ask myself whether something is wrong or right it's wrong because I have not done it in faith and with a clear conscience. I hope that that answers your question.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 17, 2007, 11:24:36 AM
Adam and Eve right?

But then of course, if that was the beginning, then there would have had to have been MASSIVE amounts of insest to have become 6 billion people now.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 17, 2007, 11:31:25 AM
Adam and Eve right?

But then of course, if that was the beginning, then there would have had to have been MASSIVE amounts of insest to have become 6 billion people now.

The truth of the matter is, yes. God allowed this for man to multiply witht he intent that it would cease once the earth was populated, thus making it an abomination in the book of Leviticus.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 17, 2007, 12:40:32 PM
The truth of the matter is, yes. God allowed this for man to multiply witht he intent that it would cease once the earth was populated, thus making it an abomination in the book of Leviticus.

Pardon my ignorance, but why would God do that? Why not just set a non-changing set of rules down and lay it out REAL clear.


As a complete aside, there is strong evidence that all humans currently alive stem from a single woman stumbling out of Africa some several hundred thousand years ago. They call her Mitochondrial Eve, in case you've got a penchant for Googling. She wasn't the only one to get out of Africa, but she was the only one to survive and have girls that passed on her mitochondrial DNA. Kind of interesting.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 17, 2007, 12:55:09 PM
The truth of the matter is, yes. God allowed this for man to multiply witht he intent that it would cease once the earth was populated, thus making it an abomination in the book of Leviticus.

That sounds like horsey poo.

I can't imagine ever laying with a daughter or sister, and it wasn't wrong until later? If you are all from the same originator, you are still family, thus we are still committing insest. Ew!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 17, 2007, 01:04:13 PM
Pardon my ignorance, but why would God do that? Why not just set a non-changing set of rules down and lay it out REAL clear.


As a complete aside, there is strong evidence that all humans currently alive stem from a single woman stumbling out of Africa some several hundred thousand years ago. They call her Mitochondrial Eve, in case you've got a penchant for Googling. She wasn't the only one to get out of Africa, but she was the only one to survive and have girls that passed on her mitochondrial DNA. Kind of interesting.


This had better not be sarcasm. I want to read about Mitochondrial Eve, I'm looking it up now.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 17, 2007, 01:06:13 PM
That was interesting! Chromosomal Adam too ftw!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 18, 2007, 07:15:50 AM
Let me guess, chips - you're married, right?
You got it. ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 18, 2007, 07:18:02 AM
So who invented sex?

Gore?

No. He invented the internet.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 18, 2007, 07:19:59 AM
Also anything other than missionary. Strict no-no.

And having sex out of wedlock while eating shellfish is like speeding in the car pool lane on the highway to hell.


Exactly!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 18, 2007, 07:40:29 AM
mitochondrial eve?

sounds like a bad yeast infection.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 18, 2007, 07:46:31 AM
wait...its another star wars allusion...mitichlorines :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 18, 2007, 11:07:20 AM
I am looking at the original Hebrew context of the word sodomite because the word sodomy is not used in the Bible at all. The hebrew word for Sodomite would be Qudesh pronounced kawdashe. The word means to be a male devotee ( by prostitution) to licentious idolatry to be unclean. The people in Sodom were not able to control themselves sexually there lust had become so great that they began to act out in homosexuality as well thus came the word sodomy. As I look further into this I am not seeing any condomnation for any act that a husband may do with his wife as long as it is consentual for both parties. However any thing that is not done in faith is sin. So if I must ask myself whether something is wrong or right it's wrong because I have not done it in faith and with a clear conscience. I hope that that answers your question.
You forgot to say that the purpose is to produce children, not personal gratification...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 18, 2007, 11:08:18 AM
You forgot to say that the purpose is to produce children, not personal gratification...

Are you serious??  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 18, 2007, 11:12:04 AM
Read the rule book
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 18, 2007, 11:12:18 AM
You forgot to say that the purpose is to produce children, not personal gratification...

What about by yourself?  Where does that fall?  Personal gratification?

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: florida-girl on October 18, 2007, 11:14:36 AM
What about by yourself?  Where does that fall?  Personal gratification?


Can't you go blind from that? ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 18, 2007, 11:17:09 AM
Oh come on now...share the love........................(thats my motto)

OH easy now....I'm kiddin'......... *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 18, 2007, 11:21:07 AM
You forgot to say that the purpose is to produce children, not personal gratification...


Joe although I agree with you on a lot of issues, I have to disagree on this one. God made sex enjoyable so that man and women could enjoy it within marriage. If in fact sex was only to produce children God would have made sure that a child was produced each and every time. Sex was a gift from God for husband and wife to enjoy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 18, 2007, 11:23:53 AM
What about by yourself?  Where does that fall?  Personal gratification?



Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 18, 2007, 11:29:28 AM
If in fact sex was only to produce children God would have made sure that a child was produced each and every time.

This must mean that I am a baby killer .... Oh no!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 18, 2007, 11:31:39 AM
Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.

 *:) 

If more people "enjoyed," there would be much less need for antidepressants and prisons.

Take a shower and enjoy!! LOL!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 18, 2007, 11:48:16 AM
I was wrong in a previous thread.... Laughter is the SECOND best medicine!!  8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 18, 2007, 11:52:16 AM
I was wrong in a previous thread.... Laughter is the SECOND best medicine!!  8)

you tell it girl!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 18, 2007, 03:15:00 PM
The ad agencys were right.. :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 18, 2007, 03:54:18 PM
That what I tell my wife whenever she tries the old "I have a headache thing".  I can't think of a better cure.  (and it works a whole lot faster than Tylenol  ;D)

Sounds like my cure for a sore throat!!  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 18, 2007, 09:21:13 PM
Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.


Wow!  That message would go over really well with someone who was gay.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 18, 2007, 10:50:58 PM

Wow!  That message would go over really well with someone who was gay.

He's already defined homosexuality as immoral and sinful, so I dont' think he cares much. :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 18, 2007, 11:35:21 PM
Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.

Gee, what are the widows and widowers supposed to do?
God forbid if they have pleasure alone.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 19, 2007, 08:24:15 AM
Masturbation is authorized by the new Pope so priests can release their natural needs and desires before that desire grows outside of their ability to restrain themselves.











OK... maybe not. But, he should, and you know they do!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 19, 2007, 09:18:04 AM
If more people fired away in the bedroom there'd be less need to fire away on the battlefield :O
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 19, 2007, 01:18:59 PM
He's already defined homosexuality as immoral and sinful, so I dont' think he cares much. :)

The practice of homosexual acts is condemned, not the homosexual or the lesbian.
Read the Book...all the answers are there...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 19, 2007, 01:26:05 PM
The practice of homosexual acts is condemned, not the homosexual or the lesbian.
Read the Book...all the answers are there...

Your right Joe. Christ died for all to be saved, and he can change the lives of anyone. Praise God for that.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 19, 2007, 01:50:35 PM
I wonder if Jesus ever, uhm, "played" with his shepherd staff.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 19, 2007, 04:02:13 PM
Quote from: christfollower on October 18, 2007, 11:23:53 AM
Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.

Gee, what are the widows and widowers supposed to do?
God forbid if they have pleasure alone.

Christfollower will you Please answer my question?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: forever39 on October 19, 2007, 05:03:45 PM
m0x:  That was such an unnecessary remark. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 19, 2007, 05:11:52 PM
m0x:  That was such an unnecessary remark. 

It wasn't a remark, it was a question based on a mixed consensus of the topic at hand. If Jesus was God in human form, did he have basic carnal urges?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 19, 2007, 05:34:10 PM
Quote from: christfollower on October 18, 2007, 11:23:53 AM
Once again sex is for husband and wife to enjoy not for one person to enjoy.

Gee, what are the widows and widowers supposed to do?
God forbid if they have pleasure alone.

Christfollower will you Please answer my question?

The Apostle Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7:8-9 "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. (9) But if they cannot (have self-control) let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn.

Translation: if an individual cannot cotrol him/herself sexually the Apostle Paul explains that they need to get married. He tells us it is better to Marry than to burn in our own desires. Hope that this answered your question.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 19, 2007, 05:55:19 PM
The Apostle Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7:8-9 "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. (9) But if they cannot (have self-control) let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn.

Translation: if an individual cannot cotrol him/herself sexually the Apostle Paul explains that they need to get married. He tells us it is better to Marry than to burn in our own desires. Hope that this answered your question.

You presume that your sexuality is a choice.  What if it were not, and you found yourself attracted to the same sex?  Should you be condemed and or make yourself a eunuch or even better yet hate yourself?  Or worse speak with you and be told you are going to hell unless you control yourself.  Do you believe one can be cured, what if the shoe was on the other foot?   You are sounding more like an islamic (fundanmentalist) terrorist everyday.

I believe that if God lloves all his children and while not always agreeing with our decsions, we are loved unequivolcally(sic?). 

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 20, 2007, 01:45:14 AM
The Apostle Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7:8-9 "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. (9) But if they cannot (have self-control) let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn.

Translation: if an individual cannot cotrol him/herself sexually the Apostle Paul explains that they need to get married. He tells us it is better to Marry than to burn in our own desires. Hope that this answered your question.
So you are telling me that Paul says that a surviving spouse, that does not wish to remarry,
will eternally burn in hell if they pleasure themselves.
By the way, what is the source of the translation that you quote?
Awaiting your reply.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 20, 2007, 09:38:44 AM
You presume that your sexuality is a choice.  What if it were not, and you found yourself attracted to the same sex?  Should you be condemed and or make yourself a eunuch or even better yet hate yourself?  Or worse speak with you and be told you are going to hell unless you control yourself.  Do you believe one can be cured, what if the shoe was on the other foot?   You are sounding more like an islamic (fundanmentalist) terrorist everyday.

I believe that if God lloves all his children and while not always agreeing with our decsions, we are loved unequivolcally(sic?). 



The fundamentalist part is for sure!! Anyone who tries to tell me how to think, feel, and act, and how to do what I do in my bedroom (or wherever!) is a kind of terrorist, IMO. It's the same arrogance and twisted logic jihadists have.

Yeah, yeah, I know everyone has a right to post, and all our voices are important and worthy, but Jesus Christ, christfollower...!! Give it a rest, PLEASE!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 20, 2007, 09:53:11 AM
It wasn't a remark, it was a question based on a mixed consensus of the topic at hand. If Jesus was God in human form, did he have basic carnal urges?
jesus walked the earth as a man, and he was without sin. he was not, however, without temptation.
now, lets consider, is masturbation a sin?
i don't really think so.
do you really care, or did you just want to stir up some controversy?

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 20, 2007, 09:59:18 AM
Ever notice that the word" sex "always gets your attention? :P

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 20, 2007, 10:01:18 AM
Ever notice that the word" sex "always gets your attention? :P



gets me every time
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 20, 2007, 10:07:05 AM
The fundamentalist part is for sure!! Anyone who tries to tell me how to think, feel, and act, and how to do what I do in my bedroom (or wherever!) is a kind of terrorist, IMO. It's the same arrogance and twisted logic jihadists have.

Yeah, yeah, I know everyone has a right to post, and all our voices are important and worthy, but Jesus Christ, christfollower...!! Give it a rest, PLEASE!!!!!

Well said as usual MonroeMom

If there was more tolerence and love in the world, it would be a much safer place.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 20, 2007, 10:45:27 AM
So you are telling me that Paul says that a surviving spouse, that does not wish to remarry,
will eternally burn in hell if they pleasure themselves.
By the way, what is the source of the translation that you quote?
Awaiting your reply.


First and foremost, God wants our desire to please him to outweigh our desires to please our flesh. If our desire to please our flesh does outweigh our desire to please God, we will be judged accordinglly. Whether or not they will burn in hell is not for me to judge, nor did I state that in my post. I do not have a heaven or hell to put any one in. Now did the apostle Paul say that someone will burn in Hell if they pleasure themselves? Not when you begin to look at the actual Greek context of his writing. I think the Apostle Paul is concerned about burning in ones own desires. Our own desires tend to control us a lot. In most of Pauls writings he spoke a lot about controlling the lust of our flesh. You see when we begin to want to please God more than ourselves and surrender ourselves to the guidance of the Holy Spirit it enables us to live holy acceptable lives before God. So Paul was telling us that if we cannot control ourselves sexually it is better for us to marry than have to deal with the constant temptations that we will face in our lives. Lust is a very controlling temptation ( I speak from experience). Paul was concerned about having to deal with that in our lives. One of the fruit of the spirit is self control. Paul was simply showing us that there was a way out, if in fact we could not control ourselves sexually. This verse was meant to help us not to condemn us. Hope this helped.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 20, 2007, 10:45:50 AM
The Apostle Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7:8-9 "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. (9) But if they cannot (have self-control) let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn.

Translation: if an individual cannot cotrol him/herself sexually the Apostle Paul explains that they need to get married. He tells us it is better to Marry than to burn in our own desires. Hope that this answered your question.

Whose translation is that, cf? Yours? This reminds me of Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz. Watch the movie with the sound muted while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. If you try hard enough, you can believe that the album matches the movie. Same thing with any religious text. You can interpret it any way that suits your inherent beliefs. I won't even get into the fact that true zealots will argue fine points based on the nuances of the English translation of Hebrew words that were written hundreds of years after the events actually occurred. "Marry" and "burn" are ancient words and concepts. What they meant in Hebrew 2K years ago and what they mean now, especially in this context, could be a bit different.

Perhaps Paul meant "have sex" (marry) so you don't turn into a crazy rapist or child molester (burn). That's MY translation, and that works a whole lot better for me than "only have sex for procreation, don't have fun, and don't masturbate. " That's just plain SILLY, in my opinion, and just a horrible way to waste the joy nature intended! THAT's the real sin!!
 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 20, 2007, 10:47:33 AM

First and foremost, God wants our desire to please him to outweigh our desires to please our flesh. If our desire to please our flesh does outweigh our desire to please God, we will be judged accordinglly.

You bring out the hard rocker in me, cf!! Now I'm thinking of AC/DC... "I'm on the Highway to Hell!!"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 20, 2007, 10:55:06 AM
Whose translation is that, cf? Yours? This reminds me of Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz. Watch the movie with the sound muted while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. If you try hard enough, you can believe that the album matches the movie. Same thing with any religious text. You can interpret it any way that suits your inherent beliefs. I won't even get into the fact that true zealots will argue fine points based on the nuances of the English translation of Hebrew words that were written hundreds of years after the events actually occurred. "Marry" and "burn" are ancient words and concepts. What they meant in Hebrew 2K years ago and what they mean now, especially in this context, could be a bit different.

Perhaps Paul meant "have sex" (marry) so you don't turn into a crazy rapist or child molester (burn). That's MY translation, and that works a whole lot better for me than "only have sex for procreation, don't have fun, and don't masturbate. " That's just plain SILLY, in my opinion, and just a horrible way to waste the joy nature intended! THAT's the real sin!!
 

The New Testament was written in Greek the word Marry comes from the greek word Gameo meaning to to wed the word Burn comes from the word Puroo meaning to be kindled, to be ignited, be refined, to be inflamed(with grief, anger, or lust)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 20, 2007, 10:55:45 AM
You bring out the hard rocker in me, cf!! Now I'm thinking of AC/DC... "I'm on the Highway to Hell!!"

I think T.N.T. is more appropriate, Mom...  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 20, 2007, 10:58:20 AM
The New Testament was written in Greek the word Marry comes from the greek word Gameo meaning to to wed the word Burn comes from the word Puroo meaning to be kindled, to be ignited, be refined, to be inflamed(with grief, anger, or lust)

cf, honey, I'm the very last person you want to play word games with.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 20, 2007, 10:59:55 AM
Christfollower you're even working on me.   Twelve years I went to parochial school.   I've heard it all.   I know what I believe and certainly do not need for anyone to tell me what to do, how to think or how to behave.   I truly believe if we all simply treat each other the way we'd like to be treated, we'll all be ok.

I have a relatively high tolerance of religious discussion, but could you please come down from your high horse ?   Maybe this thread needs to be moved to the religion category.    
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 20, 2007, 11:02:39 AM

Perhaps Paul meant "have sex" (marry) so you don't turn into a crazy rapist or child molester (burn). That's MY translation, and that works a whole lot better for me than "only have sex for procreation, don't have fun, and don't masturbate. " That's just plain SILLY, in my opinion, and just a horrible way to waste the joy nature intended! THAT's the real sin!!
 

If I ever need a spokesperson in life...MonroeMom you are hired!!!!  You tell it well girl!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 20, 2007, 11:21:17 AM
Christfollower you're even working on me.   Twelve years I went to parochial school.   I've heard it all.   I know what I believe and certainly do not need for anyone to tell me what to do, how to think or how to behave.   I truly believe if we all simply treat each other the way we'd like to be treated, we'll all be ok.

I have a relatively high tolerance of religious discussion, but could you please come down from your high horse ?   Maybe this thread needs to be moved to the religion category.    

Slug,

I have read many of your post and very highly respect your opinions. I have not at any point tried to give the apperance that I am on some High Horse, however it seems to look that way. I was simply trying to answer the questions that were given to me and awaiting my answer. However the answers that I provide are not my own, however taken directlly from the Word of God. Yes I would love to say that sex outside of marriage, masturbation, and homosexuality is absolutlly alright. This would allow me to live any way that I wanted. However this is not what the Word of God says. God left his Word to teach us how to live, it is our roadmap to the glory land. When I speak of matters that concern the Word of God I must take it out of the Word not my personal feelings. In fact it is my constant submission to God that allows me to continue to teach and preach his Word even at the cost of being persecuted for not seeing eye to eye with everyone I come into contact with. Gods ways are not our ways this is why it is sometimes hard to swallow the truth of the gospel all at once. I am trully a humble person in general, I am only trying to help.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 20, 2007, 11:23:07 AM
Slug,

I have read many of your post and very highly respect your opinions. I have not at any point tried to give the apperance that I am on some High Horse, however it seems to look that way. I was simply trying to answer the questions that were given to me and awaiting my answer. However the answers that I provide are not my own, however taken directlly from the Word of God. Yes I would love to say that sex outside of marriage, masturbation, and homosexuality is absolutlly alright. This would allow me to live any way that I wanted. However this is not what the Word of God says. God left his Word to teach us how to live, it is our roadmap to the glory land. When I speak of matters that concern the Word of God I must take it out of the Word not my personal feelings. In fact it is my constant submission to God that allows me to continue to teach and preach his Word even at the cost of being persecuted for not seeing eye to eye with everyone I come into contact with. Gods ways are not our ways this is why it is sometimes hard to swallow the truth of the gospel all at once. I am trully a humble person in general, I am only trying to help.

Understood.   Thanks for the reply.   Peace.  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 20, 2007, 11:37:47 AM
Slug,

I have read many of your post and very highly respect your opinions. I have not at any point tried to give the apperance that I am on some High Horse, however it seems to look that way. I was simply trying to answer the questions that were given to me and awaiting my answer. However the answers that I provide are not my own, however taken directlly from the Word of God. Yes I would love to say that sex outside of marriage, masturbation, and homosexuality is absolutlly alright. This would allow me to live any way that I wanted. However this is not what the Word of God says. God left his Word to teach us how to live, it is our roadmap to the glory land. When I speak of matters that concern the Word of God I must take it out of the Word not my personal feelings. In fact it is my constant submission to God that allows me to continue to teach and preach his Word even at the cost of being persecuted for not seeing eye to eye with everyone I come into contact with. Gods ways are not our ways this is why it is sometimes hard to swallow the truth of the gospel all at once. I am trully a humble person in general, I am only trying to help.

Ok, fine. However you want to live your life. Just PUH-LEEEEEEZE stop preaching to me. Now. You have a whole category in which to give your testimony or witness or proselytize. We apparently are all sinners here in the Misc and Just Asking categories. Most of the folks who hang out in these threads do so in order to enjoy each other's company and have a few laughs. You are a total buzz kill. No fun. Please leave our threads alone unless you can just be yourself and not a preacher. I'm totally and completely SICK OF IT.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 20, 2007, 11:40:52 AM
ok its my turn...be scared...be very very scared...be prepared...be very prepared...text soon to come!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 20, 2007, 11:42:07 AM
I am trully a humble person in general, I am only trying to help.

One would never know this.  You are coming across as if you are standing on the same podium as Jesus Himself.  Step down.  I am pretty confident He did not, and in no time in the near future coming in to give you or any one else for that matter the authority to pass judgement.  I understand sharing the word - lead people to Christ - teach people the Word.....BUT DUDE!  There is a way to go about it and a way to turn people around so fast that you will loose them forever.  I see the need to stick to your beliefs....fine.  But bringing it in and pushing it back on everyone on every single topic, every single post is too much.  

If I were to ask you what your favorite ice cream topping is - I am sure you will find a way to preach at me.  Let me guess
 ice cream- a form of over indulgance and this is sin......

Do you see where I'm going?  (that by the way is rhetorical question and needs no response...PLEASE)

This is an open board for all people of every walk of life, with every belief there is.  Teach people about Jesus through actions.  Usually the less said, and the more gentler tone and more passive attitude is what makes people notice more.  A Bible thumping preacher will only get looks of curiosity...compared to a loving gentler person will attract people to ask and respect the answer they are being given.  You are loosing your mission here buy pushing too hard.  

Take a challenge from me....back off - I'm not saying back down - just ease up for one week and I bet (ooppss no I wont bet...thats sin) I'll dare say that you will gain more ground with winning people to at least entertain your thoughts than you are now.

 I understand from your prior posts that you have had a hard life - so now ease up - lose the hardness and come in with a gentelness and a meekness (as the Bible tells us Christ was) that will have people at least wanting to not throttle you.  

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 20, 2007, 11:48:18 AM
here in the Misc and Just Asking categories. Most of the folks who hang out in these threads do so in order to enjoy each other's company and have a few laughs. 

Well said, Mom.   That's why I'm here.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 20, 2007, 11:55:04 AM
One would never know this.  You are coming across as if you are standing on the same podium as Jesus Himself.  Step down.  I am pretty confident He did not, and in no time in the near future coming in to give you or any one else for that matter the authority to pass judgement.  I understand sharing the word - lead people to Christ - teach people the Word.....BUT DUDE!  There is a way to go about it and a way to turn people around so fast that you will loose them forever.  I see the need to stick to your beliefs....fine.  But bringing it in and pushing it back on everyone on every single topic, every single post is too much.  

If I were to ask you what your favorite ice cream topping is - I am sure you will find a way to preach at me.  Let me guess
 ice cream- a form of over indulgance and this is sin......

Do you see where I'm going?  (that by the way is rhetorical question and needs no response...PLEASE)

This is an open board for all people of every walk of life, with every belief there is.  Teach people about Jesus through actions.  Usually the less said, and the more gentler tone and more passive attitude is what makes people notice more.  A Bible thumping preacher will only get looks of curiosity...compared to a loving gentler person will attract people to ask and respect the answer they are being given.  You are loosing your mission here buy pushing too hard.  

Take a challenge from me....back off - I'm not saying back down - just ease up for one week and I bet (ooppss no I wont bet...thats sin) I'll dare say that you will gain more ground with winning people to at least entertain your thoughts than you are now.

 I understand from your prior posts that you have had a hard life - so now ease up - lose the hardness and come in with a gentelness and a meekness (as the Bible tells us Christ was) that will have people at least wanting to not throttle you.  


Well said! By the way I have posted my favorite ice cream topping! LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 20, 2007, 11:59:20 AM
to some people their religious beliefs and sex are inseparable
im not going to condem them for that.
the world could do without so much sex if you ask me.
teen pregnancies, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases, like hpv which causes cervical cancer in women, and hiv...kids that can't be fed...
ya sex feels good...but there's a lot more to it than that.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 20, 2007, 11:59:30 AM
The truth of the matter is, yes. God allowed this for man to multiply witht he intent that it would cease once the earth was populated, thus making it an abomination in the book of Leviticus.

what about the apple? wasn't the apple involved here?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: christfollower on October 20, 2007, 12:10:15 PM
what about the apple? wasn't the apple involved here?

People have said that the forbidden fruit as you referred to as the "apple" was actually a reference to oral sex. This belief is because many times in the bible people were reffered to as trees and branches. Thus the belief is the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden were the private areas of Adam and Eve. This is a false teaching. No where in the Hebrew text does it even suggest this teaching. This was another teaching from man to distort the true Word of God, simply because they want the word to say what they want it to say.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 20, 2007, 12:14:46 PM
People have said that the forbidden fruit as you referred to as the "apple" was actually a reference to oral sex. This belief is because many times in the bible people were reffered to as trees and branches. Thus the belief is the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden were the private areas of Adam and Eve. This is a false teaching. No where in the Hebrew text does it even suggest this teaching. This was another teaching from man to distort the true Word of God, simply because they want the word to say what they want it to say.
oh thanks for bringing that up i never heard that story b4  :-\ "People have said that the forbidden fruit as you referred to as the "apple" was actually a reference to oral sex."

 :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 20, 2007, 12:21:53 PM
The problem here is that everyone wants (needs) to have the last word.   

cf, thank you for trying to help everyone.  I do believe your passion and sincerity, but now you need to let it go.  You've proven you have the tenacity to reply to whatever anyone says.  Thank you.  Now you need to let it go. 

Nobody's changing their minds.    Everyone's position is evident (and respected). 

But, the need for last words here are turning into hot air and only serving a "last word" purpose anymore.

Utility Slug, you were absolutely right.  This IS a Religion category subject.  What the heck is it doing on Miscellaneous? 

 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 20, 2007, 12:26:07 PM
The problem here is that everyone wants (needs) to have the last word.   

well MM1...   I think the problem is everyone sees the name of the topic and all think (want to think) they're an expert on the subject :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 20, 2007, 12:29:04 PM
well MM1...   I think the problem is everyone sees the name of the topic and all think (want to think) they're an expert on the subject :o :o :o

my apple question was legitimate, I am not a bible scholar and do not claim to be.
I live with a man that has to have the last word, and he always gets it, because I say what I need to say and leave it.   :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 20, 2007, 12:56:25 PM
Whose translation is that, cf? Yours? This reminds me of Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz. Watch the movie with the sound muted while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. If you try hard enough, you can believe that the album matches the movie. Same thing with any religious text. You can interpret it any way that suits your inherent beliefs. I won't even get into the fact that true zealots will argue fine points based on the nuances of the English translation of Hebrew words that were written hundreds of years after the events actually occurred. "Marry" and "burn" are ancient words and concepts. What they meant in Hebrew 2K years ago and what they mean now, especially in this context, could be a bit different.

Perhaps Paul meant "have sex" (marry) so you don't turn into a crazy rapist or child molester (burn). That's MY translation, and that works a whole lot better for me than "only have sex for procreation, don't have fun, and don't masturbate. " That's just plain SILLY, in my opinion, and just a horrible way to waste the joy nature intended! THAT's the real sin!!
 

Can't say it much better than that. 

Read the bible enough and you can find justifications for all kinds of terrible behavior.  There are so many conflicting messages and man has continually interrepted/distorted for his own motives.  I suggest that CF shove his bible somewhere where it cannot be seen.  Try for some understanding

To quote John Lennon:  Imagine no religion, I wonder if you can. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 20, 2007, 01:56:03 PM
ok its my turn...be scared...be very very scared...be prepared...be very prepared...text soon to come!!!

Don't be humbled
Don't be worried,
DON'T BE SCARED...
BE PREPARED... 8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 21, 2007, 09:28:46 AM
I like apples   :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 21, 2007, 10:00:44 AM
Well let’s actually talk about sex for a change.

I recall having a female suggesting we become f*ck buddies which in today’s terms would be a “booty call” (I feel so used)  ;D

I’ve also seen many women shall we say….sharing the love which reminds me of that song by Blackfoot called “Train Train”  :o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrtApoX959c&mode=related&search=

(Don’t be a fool, cover your tool)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 21, 2007, 12:17:06 PM
Well let’s actually talk about sex for a change.

I recall having a female suggesting we become f*ck buddies which in today’s terms would be a “booty call” (I feel so used)  ;D

I’ve also seen many women shall we say….sharing the love ...


Wow, fry, you get around!!!  :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 21, 2007, 12:23:24 PM

I’ve also seen many women shall we say….sharing the love which reminds me of that song by Blackfoot called “Train Train”  :o

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrtApoX959c&mode=related&search=[/url]

(Don’t be a fool, cover your tool)



Back the train up......share the love is my motto.....but not to be taken as a booty call...no uh uh! 
See I mean well and still get myself into situations..... :-\

FF - you are one rockin dude....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 21, 2007, 12:42:39 PM
I guess that sex is here to stay then...huh??...not just some crazy fad?? :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 22, 2007, 11:07:35 AM
Holy Schnikes!!  Can we get this thread back on track to something REAL???   SEX!

Please do not hijack our disgustingly, debaucherous, heinous, dirty, greasy, sweaty threads with talk from an invisible man and an old outdated book!

Everytime I see CF post this dribble, the only image that comes to mind is Jimmy Swaggart... What an upstanding christian he turned out to be.

I myself heard all the Jesus and God teachings I need to hear when i was young.  Now I am grown up and prefer not to hear how I will burn in the fires of hell... In fact, if that turns out to be true, you can just sit on your high horse and laugh and say I told you so...
I might not hear you though because I will probably be busy partying with Marilyn Manson and engaging in sex acts with or without partners... male or female!!

Ughhh.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 22, 2007, 12:06:04 PM
I'm at work right now... and I'm naked. Sex?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 12:38:39 PM
Vote YES for sex!!

(http://bestsmileys.com/oneofakind/6.gif)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 22, 2007, 01:14:31 PM
This is an internet forum where we’re supposed to be anonymous so why do people (especially females) always pretend to be so virtuous?

I doubt the men those women married were ever told about their wild past but no matter, I’ll bet that thing has snapped back into shape by now so the guy wouldn’t need to tie a board to his back in fear of falling in.

Those of you that have let your identities be known let me suggest you acquire a free email address and assume a fresh identity so you can participate in frank honest discussions without any fears and just use your usual user name for your social networking.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 01:46:35 PM
I kind of forget about this thread for a while....I can see where the christian naysayers found their way in here and pretty much spoiled the fun!

Why would a christian even comment in a thread like this I wonder??? By a show of hands, how many souls where save from going to hell????


Thats what I thought!.... *:)

Now back to what the thread title indicates to...SEX!!!!

ff....I have heard about the Friends with Benefits/booty call/*uck Buddy type of stuff too. This is something fairly new and more and more single young folks are opting to do this. I dont understnad the why though....I couldnt be a booty call for anyone and if we are friends then we surely arent having sex...I guess I am too old to see any benefits to it, but they say its so that they can have a sexual partner without actually getting involved (relationship) so then they dont feel obligated to them and they can sleep with others if they choose to...for me, the idea of all of the STD's and HIV carriers would prevent me from going along with it alone....not to even mention my moral standards!!





Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 01:47:44 PM
Soooo, since we are talking about sex...and the MEN watchdogs havent halted it yet.....who would dare to answer this question??

What is your favorite position?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 22, 2007, 01:50:00 PM
The idea of starting this string was to get your attention, and to let people see how they are...it sure worked huh?? :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 02:06:22 PM
What is your favorite position?

I think I explained this one once TPoKE....   north to south....   oh wait...   that was my sexual orientation...

Ok never mind...   position....

well, after all, I am a Dawg....    what would you expect it to be   (I know somewhere one of you was just hoping I'd be brave enough to do that ;))

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 02:25:05 PM
I think I explained this one once TPoKE....   north to south....   oh wait...   that was my sexual orientation...

Ok never mind...   position....

well, after all, I am a Dawg....    what would you expect it to be   (I know somewhere one of you was just hoping I'd be brave enough to do that ;))



What a chicken!!LOL! Doggystyle...just say it....DOGGYSTYLE!! LOL LOL!!!!!!

ok...I'm brave....my favorite is...standing...up...against the...wall..... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 02:26:33 PM
The idea of starting this string was to get your attention, and to let people see how they are...it sure worked huh?? :P

I guess it did...at least it got my attention, cant say much about folks seeing how they are though. *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 03:14:45 PM


woo hoo...  making mental note.... don't get in front of cc when she gets on a roll ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 22, 2007, 04:09:08 PM
The F-buddies is one thing, but what about these people getting into open relationships/marriages? I don't think I could handle being married knowing my significant other is out jumping the fence whenever she pleases, so to speak. I have a friend up north that is in such a relationship. She's "married" to her long-lost high school love and the woman he lives with. It's a strange situation to experience, but to each their own.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 04:11:59 PM

woo hoo...  making mental note.... don't get in front of cc when she gets on a roll ;D

I thought I was being nice.

 Did I sound mean?  Or bad?  But wait...maybe some of you would like it I sounded "bad".........lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 04:14:44 PM
It's a strange situation to experience, but to each their own.

mOx...   best advice an old dawg like me can give a young dawg (you'll have to check with MonroeMom to see if you can use that tag) like you is:

look, don't ask...  don't judge...  

I guess this is an "appropriate" remark in this thread:  

just remember... Different strokes for different folks ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 04:16:22 PM
I thought I was being nice.

 Did I sound mean?  Or bad?  But wait...maybe some of you would like it I sounded "bad".........lol

The old "bad" is the new "good" ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 04:29:22 PM
Well Normal Joe...

you've gotten a lot of mileage out of those three little letters... 

another 14 posts and this thread will bump into the top ten for replies posted....

but we've got a long, long, long wat to go to get into the top ten for "views"....

this tells me that it is a subject that we here in Monroe are actually interested in participating in...  not just watching and wishing ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 22, 2007, 04:42:57 PM
mOx...   best advice an old dawg like me can give a young dawg (you'll have to check with MonroeMom to see if you can use that tag) like you is:

look, don't ask...  don't judge...  

I guess this is an "appropriate" remark in this thread:  

just remember... Different strokes for different folks ;D ;D ;D

Good advise Dawg. However I don't always follow the "don't ask " rule.   ;D I have been known to ask because I am genuinely curious about how other people live. I would never ask anyone who didn't seem as though they would not be open to discussing those sorts of things. 

I have found most people don't mind discussing how they live as long as you come across as having an actual interest  in their lifestyle, as opposed to  questioning  their lifestyle.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 04:52:14 PM
Holy Schnikes!!  Can we get this thread back on track to something REAL???   SEX!


Looks as if they are tryin' Farmer...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 05:48:46 PM
I think I explained this one once TPoKE....   north to south....   oh wait...   that was my sexual orientation...

Ok never mind...   position....

well, after all, I am a Dawg....    what would you expect it to be   (I know somewhere one of you was just hoping I'd be brave enough to do that ;))



ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Gawd, Dawg!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 06:06:13 PM
Wow... open relationships.... Hmmmm. Interesting.... (cf is gonna pop a blood vessel over this one, I'll bet!)

I believe, based on things I've read and studied about human and animal behavior, that an open relationship or sex with multiple partners is probably very natural for humans. Once upon a time, humans lived in small groups and the men and women shared all resources, including sex partners. That's why most of us engage in sex with different people and that's why it feels so good to do.

Now that our culture has worked through the sexual revolution and people are more free and open with their sexuality, strict monogomy within a committed relationship will probably continue to become less and less common. People will still "pair bond" or form committed partnerships, but explore together sexually. As I said in another thread, sex is the ultimate physical pleasure humans can experience. Why do we restrict it to only a few partners, especially since it's so easy to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs?

And as far as "booty calls," I would imagine that someone who engages in that kind of play probably has a number of people they trust as far as health issues go.

And no, I am not a practitioner, but I wouldn't refuse to consider the possibility!! Sounds fun!! LOL!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 06:19:13 PM
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 06:25:23 PM
well said Monroemom - well said.  I knew we thought alike....

I do have a problem with the stero type thinking that after the "I Do's" the sex changes because of the woman.   That is not always the case, and I feel women get more of the blame than really happens.

 Sex is natural.  And the natural happens differently for men than it does women.  Men dont always understand that.  Shoot many men out there will be happy putting "it" in a tree hole as long as they get pleasure.  Men forget, and in some cases men dont know that a woman needs more than they do most of the time to reach the ultimate in sexual heights.
Guys if ya think you may want sex on Wednesday start romancing us on Monday - little things count -  we need more than just "hey baby ya wanna?" or "why dont cha give me a little sumthin sumthin"  (I'd kill my hubby if he said that)

 I think that as people get comfortable with each other, and get comfortable in their marriage we tend to forget that we all need attention.  If attention is not gotten from the spouse, or significant other it will be normal to look elsewhere.  We are human.  And the human body needs and craves attention and affection.  

OK I'm done for now...so guys that was Woman lesson 101....more to follow ...maybe if you  all behave and are good boys.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 06:27:45 PM
Y'know what's silly? I'm too bashful to post about "favorite position."  :-[
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 22, 2007, 06:29:01 PM
whats love got to do with it?  :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 06:30:34 PM
Y'know what's silly? I'm too bashful to post about "favorite position."  :-[

why pick just one...break it out girl.  Sex can be good in any postition as long as the partner is good, or is at least pretending to be.  

Shoot - who says even phone sex cant be hot and good.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 06:35:20 PM
well said Monroemom - well said.  I knew we thought alike....

I do have a problem with the stero type thinking that after the "I Do's" the sex changes because of the woman.   That is not always the case, and I feel women get more of the blame than really happens.

 Sex is natural.  And the natural happens differently for men than it does women.  Men dont always understand that.  Shoot many men out there will be happy putting "it" in a tree hole as long as they get pleasure.  Men forget, and in some cases men dont know that a woman needs more than they do most of the time to reach the ultimate in sexual heights.
Guys if ya think you may want sex on Wednesday start romancing us on Monday - little things count -  we need more than just "hey baby ya wanna?" or "why dont cha give me a little sumthin sumthin"  (I'd kill my hubby if he said that)

 I think that as people get comfortable with each other, and get comfortable in their marriage we tend to forget that we all need attention.  If attention is not gotten from the spouse, or significant other it will be normal to look elsewhere.  We are human.  And the human body needs and craves attention and affection.  

OK I'm done for now...so guys that was Woman lesson 101....more to follow ...maybe if you  all behave and are good boys.....

its nice to do things for each other...but if i had to start pampering on monday...to get something on wednesday...its time to go see a lawyer!

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 22, 2007, 06:39:38 PM
I guess I didn't realize Monroe had such a free, open and swinging community.   :o

Sounds to me like there's a lot of "who can top the other guy without getting booted off the forum" going on here.  

OK, who's on deck?  

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 06:44:55 PM
now thats not quit what I meant....let me explain....lesson 101 in review

Simplified....If you are going to be in a big hurry to "get yours" = start romancing on Monday - if you can take care of "business" on the spot so that both are happy - fine.  But if "Hey ya wanna" is the best you have to give....you better start early.  No lady likes a 7 minute man. 

There did I say it better......

i reckon.

7 minute man???? lol you can boil alot of eggs in 7 minutes!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 22, 2007, 07:03:06 PM
WOW!  This thread has finally taken off!

Now now, MonroeMom, don't be so bashful.  You can do it!


Soooo, since we are talking about sex...and the MEN watchdogs havent halted it yet.....who would dare to answer this question??

What is your favorite position?
Some of you know who I am, but I don't care.  As I said in the 'What do you fear' thread, I ain't afraid of nuttin, including this.  My friends and I discuss this kind of stuff all the time.

Let's just say my favorite number is 69.   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 07:05:30 PM
i think they are all good...i know one that i like less than others though.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 22, 2007, 07:22:34 PM
Wow... open relationships.... Hmmmm. Interesting.... (cf is gonna pop a blood vessel over this one, I'll bet!)


And as far as "booty calls," I would imagine that someone who engages in that kind of play probably has a number of people they trust as far as health issues go.

And no, I am not a practitioner, but I wouldn't refuse to consider the possibility!! Sounds fun!! LOL!!


MOM ! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 07:24:54 PM
we aint talkin boiling eggs - I can start a load of laundry, and fold a few towels in 7 minutes - that just dont count in this disscusion

im not talkin chicken eggs!!! lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 07:27:43 PM
im not talkin chicken eggs!!! lol

alright noshie..dont make me stand you in the corner....lol - you just like trouble -
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 07:27:54 PM
im not talkin chicken eggs!!! lol

I don't get that... Not sure I wanna!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 07:28:57 PM
MOM ! 

Sorry to shock you, Slugger (and anyone else!). I am a free thinker... in case that needed any clarification.  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 07:29:43 PM
alright noshie..dont make me stand you in the corner....lol - you just like trouble -


ok put that dunce cap on me and sit me in the corner!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 22, 2007, 07:30:44 PM
Sorry to shock you, Slugger (and anyone else!). I am a free thinker... in case that needed any clarification.  :D

Not sure what to say......................  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 07:34:29 PM
Quote from: the nosh on Today at 06:35:20 PM
its nice to do things for each other...but if i had to start pampering on monday...to get something on wednesday...its time to go see a lawyer!


now thats not quit what I meant....let me explain....lesson 101 in review

Simplified....If you are going to be in a big hurry to "get yours" = start romancing on Monday - if you can take care of "business" on the spot so that both are happy - fine.  But if "Hey ya wanna" is the best you have to give....you better start early.  No lady likes a 7 minute man. 

There did I say it better......

I'd like to see a wife start pampering on monday...to get something on wednesday.. ain't never gonna happen.
She knows all she has to do is say the word and he'll be more that willing. Wives have all the control of when and where, and don't snix her or you will pay dearly.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 07:38:36 PM

I'd like to see a wife start pampering on monday...to get something on wednesday.. ain't never gonna happen.
She knows all she has to do is say the word and he'll be more that willing. Wives have all the control of when and where, and don't snix her or you will pay dearly.


not always true....sure we have what ya all want....and we know how to use it...it's just that well - how to say this....how many of you guys can hold off for the good stuff - for more than a micro second once we wives start pampering?  Not many show of hands I see....usually all we gals have to do is look like we are in the mood and baum chicka baum baum......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 07:41:31 PM
so what exactly is pampering????
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 07:44:12 PM
Ok FF - you wanted to hear from a woman - hear goes:

You mentioned married women not telling their hubbys everything about their past - do all men confess everything?  I think they might say they do - but...nah I doubt it.  Whats it matter anyway?

 I have no STD's - never have - so what differance does it make if my hubby knows about every single partner I have ever had?  What does it matter if I know each of his?  Would it make him feel better to hear - sorry honey I've had better?  Would it make him feel better to hear oh sorry honey so and so could "go" longer than you?  Maybe thats why some people keep part of their history as just that -  history.  I dont want to hear the sorted details of him and his ex's.  So there...business out of the way....

Now....sex - I say YES more than once.  Position - why does there have to be one favorite - I say any as long as the gettin' is GOOD dont much matter.  After all variety is the spice of life.   That "fidgity" felling works both ways baby -





Excellent response!...and I only suggested THE favorite to keep the freaky ones from going over board! ;D
I hear ya, variety, but there is that one that no matter what will make me claw down and eyes ro....well, you know. *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 07:46:51 PM

not always true....sure we have what ya all want....and we know how to use it...it's just that well - how to say this....how many of you guys can hold off for the good stuff - for more than a micro second once we wives start pampering?  Not many show of hands I see....usually all we gals have to do is look like we are in the mood and baum chicka baum baum......

Wait for the good stuff? Heck it's always good, so why do we have to wait? Why do women need all this long pampering? Does it really make it better or does it give them the feeling of control?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 07:52:51 PM
Wait for the good stuff? Heck it's always good, so why do we have to wait? Why do women need all this long pampering? Does it really make it better or does it give them the feeling of control?

It absolutely DOES make it better! And it doesn't have to be some slavish ordeal for the man... How 'bout a little foot rub while you're both on the sofa watching tv? How about bringing in a beverage without being asked? Or just a sincere compliment. Women need to know their man *likes* them. We know you love us, we know you need us, we know you want us. But being enjoyed.... now that's a turn on!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 07:53:35 PM
or taking out the garbage...that always does it!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 07:53:44 PM
Wait for the good stuff? Heck it's always good, so why do we have to wait? Why do women need all this long pampering? Does it really make it better or does it give them the feeling of control?

Because women are emotional with everything...including sex, so if you play to the emotional side of her then that triggers the sexual side. Its a subtle form of foreplay so to speak.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 07:56:28 PM
Because women are emotional with everything...including sex, so if you play to the emotional side of her then that triggers the sexual side. Its a subtle form of foreplay so to speak.


OOOOOOOO  I am impressed.  And so well said.   :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 07:58:56 PM

OOOOOOOO  I am impressed.  And so well said.   :P

Thanks....I could teach a thing or two. *:) ;D

I mean, I didnt bring up the position question by chance! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 07:59:05 PM
or taking out the garbage...that always does it!!  ;D

no nosh - garbage taking out does not make for pampering or foreplay....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:02:01 PM
no nosh - garbage taking out does not make for pampering or foreplay....

it always worked for me!! lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 08:03:44 PM
Thanks....I could teach a thing or two. *:) ;D

I mean, I didnt bring up the position question by chance! ;D
Tp0ke!! I could've sworn I read that you don't kiss and tell!!! lol!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 22, 2007, 08:04:43 PM
no nosh - garbage taking out does not make for pampering or foreplay....
Hmmm....
I've taken out a lot of garbage in my day.
This explains a lot!
It may work for Nosh, but not me, evidently.
Learn something new every day!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 22, 2007, 08:06:37 PM
I just checked - there's 12 people reading this thread right now.

Yup!  Sex is hot!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:07:25 PM
Tp0ke!! I could've sworn I read that you don't kiss and tell!!! lol!!

I dont! You'll never get details!LOL!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 08:10:10 PM
It absolutely DOES make it better! And it doesn't have to be some slavish ordeal for the man... How 'bout a little foot rub while you're both on the sofa watching tv? How about bringing in a beverage without being asked? Or just a sincere compliment. Women need to know their man *likes* them. We know you love us, we know you need us, we know you want us. But being enjoyed.... now that's a turn on!!

Thank you MM-

Women need inner pampering too.  We need the emotional pampering to feel like we are not.... just a place ya all can put it.  We know that - we just want to feel like you like us as Monroemom explained.  Little things - a hug with out us having to fend off what feels like a 1000 hands - a sweet kiss for no reason - a foot rub with no expectations.  See thats the key - do the little things for us with out expectations and you will more than likely be rewarded - and possibly more often.   The little things for us is a buildup so to speak...it puts us in a fidgity state and trust me guys...thats what you want.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:11:37 PM
i do give footrubs!!! unless you have nasty feet!!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:18:59 PM
It absolutely DOES make it better! And it doesn't have to be some slavish ordeal for the man... How 'bout a little foot rub while you're both on the sofa watching tv? How about bringing in a beverage without being asked? Or just a sincere compliment. Women need to know their man *likes* them. We know you love us, we know you need us, we know you want us. But being enjoyed.... now that's a turn on!!

I've been married for 28 years. I've done the flowers, fancy restaurant, romantic movie, motel room, bubble bath, champagne, and full body massage many times. I even borrowed the book from the library "How to drive your women crazy in bed", but it didn't made sex any better than when I didn't romance her. I think women are out smarting men by saying they need all this romance for sex to be good, and men are just suckers and falling for it. Sex has always been great whether I romanced or not. Women just know how to get what they want without men realizing they are being suckered. I wonder if we could convince women that sex would be better if they romanced us guys.

NOT!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 08:19:13 PM
It absolutely DOES make it better! And it doesn't have to be some slavish ordeal for the man... How 'bout a little foot rub while you're both on the sofa watching tv? How about bringing in a beverage without being asked? Or just a sincere compliment. Women need to know their man *likes* them. We know you love us, we know you need us, we know you want us. But being enjoyed.... now that's a turn on!!

very well said MM!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:20:31 PM
sex will get anybodys attention because we all want it, we all need it, and we all enjoy it.  With 1 partner, more than 1 (at same time or not - your choice), solo, or phone sex with a good partner - whatever...we all do it.  Nothing can change us - we were made to enjoy pleasure.....so yes sex is hot.

All of that may be true but yet there are a lot of people that wont talk about sex in any type of forum. As common or inate as it is there are those that would rather not talk about their own sex lives and those that wont even acknowledge having one, those are the ones that will just lurk for the most part. The more liberal minded wont have a problem with talking about it...some, more than others.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:20:51 PM
maybe your nick has something to do with it TINY?? :)


lol just kidding!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 08:24:30 PM
I've been married for 28 years. I've done the flowers, fancy restaurant, romantic movie, motel room, bubble bath, champagne, and full body massage many times. I even borrowed the book from the library "How to drive your women crazy in bed", but it didn't made sex any better than when I didn't romance her. I think women are out smarting men by saying they need all this romance for sex to be good, and men are just suckers and falling for it. Sex has always been great whether I romanced or not. Women just know how to get what they want without men realizing they are being suckered. I wonder if we could convince women that sex would be better if they romanced us guys.

NOT!

Oh you are so wrong there. I love to romance my man when he returns the favor. However, it's been my experience that men don't want to be romanced, or romance to a man could consist of sweeping the floor, it doesn't take much to romance a man! What men need is to learn how to enjoy a woman romancing them............
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:25:47 PM
maybe your nick has something to do with it TINY?? :)


lol just kidding!!!!

I don't see why women feel they have to be romanced and men don't.
I think its a two way street. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:26:10 PM
noshies loves to be romanced!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:27:43 PM
I've been married for 28 years. I've done the flowers, fancy restaurant, romantic movie, motel room, bubble bath, champagne, and full body massage many times. I even borrowed the book from the library "How to drive your women crazy in bed", but it didn't made sex any better than when I didn't romance her. I think women are out smarting men by saying they need all this romance for sex to be good, and men are just suckers and falling for it. Sex has always been great whether I romanced or not. Women just know how to get what they want without men realizing they are being suckered. I wonder if we could convince women that sex would be better if they romanced us guys.

NOT!

Dont underestimate the power of romancing...but at the same time, you are somewhat right. some women just want to be spoiled and thats the bottom line *:)...but there are times as a woman myself where I dont want the pillow talk and its just about getting my need satisfied, period. Sexual experiences with your partner, especially over years of being together, can and will change from session to session...some will be good and some will be eh, and I have had my share of "OH WELL lets just go to sleep" times too. Its to be expected. Adding a personal touch to her day wont hurt your chances of having a great sexcapade though. Plus you let her know that she is special to boot!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:28:07 PM
Oh you are so wrong there. I love to romance my man when he returns the favor. However, it's been my experience that men don't want to be romanced, or romance to a man could consist of sweeping the floor, it doesn't take much to romance a man! What men need is to learn how to enjoy a woman romancing them............
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:28:52 PM
. I wonder if we could convince women that sex would be better if they romanced us guys.

NOT!

and byt he way...women are prone to romance, we dont have to be convinced to use it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 08:28:58 PM
I don't see why women feel they have to be romanced and men don't.
I think its a two way street. 

I will be back to answer this in about 20 minutes...hang on.....but I am so not done with you yet........do not go anywhere......(and no...I am not going to have sex right now...I know some of you are thinking it)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 22, 2007, 08:32:56 PM
tmi...
 :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:34:15 PM
tmi...
 :D

alrright!!! here comes someone that knows a hell of alot about sex!!!!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:36:09 PM
I don't see why women feel they have to be romanced and men don't.
I think its a two way street. 

In most cases, you get out of it what you put into it. But if romance is what you want, but your partner isnt doing enough of that for you, then you should let them know...let your partner know all of your wants and needs sexually or otherwise, so that its a fair playing field. They cant give you what they dont know you want...

Women, again, are emotional creatures. They need to know that you think they are special and the way to do that is to do the little things without being prompted to do them. Women have been taught that men, on the other hand, dont need that and are not emotionally inclined to be able to welcome a bouqet of roses or a box of candy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:36:55 PM
Don't get me wrong. I've had 28 great years with great sex, I couldn't be happier, but ask any man that isn't on this thread trying to impress the women and they will agree that women expect more romance than they give. They have the control.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:39:22 PM
Don't get me wrong. I've had 28 great years with great sex, I couldn't be happier, but ask any man that isn't on this thread trying to impress the women and they will agree that women expect more romance than they give. They have the control.

The control women have is not in the romance....its what you're trying to get thats the ruler of man! :D With that we can bring a man to his knees!

Its why women have to learn to only use their power for good! :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:41:06 PM
Don't get me wrong. I've had 28 great years with great sex, I couldn't be happier, but ask any man that isn't on this thread trying to impress the women and they will agree that women expect more romance than they give. They have the control.

i somewhat agree with this...foreplay isnt just for the man to do...or start!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 22, 2007, 08:44:52 PM
i somewhat agree with this...foreplay isnt just for the man to do...or start!

foreplay isnt just for one gender...what fun would that be?
Foreplay is done in sso many different forms though, its just a matter of you both doing what works for each other. She needs to know what type of foreplay does it for you just like she lets you know that romance does it for her andyou both need to listen and master each others triggers.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:46:29 PM
The control women have is not in the romance....its what you're trying to get thats the ruler of man! :D With that we can bring a man to his knees!

Its why women have to learn to only use their power for good! :D

YES, I agree exactly
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 08:49:55 PM
foreplay isnt just for one gender...what fun would that be?
Foreplay is done in sso many different forms though, its just a matter of you both doing what works for each other. She needs to know what type of foreplay does it for you just like she lets you know that romance does it for her andyou both need to listen and master each others triggers.

triggers??

well just call me palladin...have gun...will travel!!! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 08:58:30 PM
triggers??

well just call me palladin...have gun...will travel!!! ;D

Palladin
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Cite This Source


Palladin protein is a cytoskeletal protein coded by the palladin gene (KIAA0992).

Palladin was characterised independently by two research groups, first in the lab of Carol Otey (in 2000) and then in the lab of Olli Carpén (in 2001). It is a part of the myotilin-myopalladin-palladin family and may play an important role in modulating the actin cytoskeleton. Palladin, in contrast to myotilin and myopalladin, which are expressed only in striated muscle, is expressed ubiquitously in cells of mesenchymal origin.

Three major isoforms of palladin arise from a single gene. These isoforms contain between three and five copies (depending on the isoform) of an Ig-like domain and between one and two copies of a polyproline domain. Its precise biological role is yet poorly understood, but it has been shown to play a role in cytoskeletal organization, embryonic development, cell motility, scar formation in the skin, and nerve cell development.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 22, 2007, 09:00:55 PM
im talkin richard boone here!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: belladonna on October 22, 2007, 09:03:51 PM
 I like Palladin.  Wow, a lot of sex talk here.  I feel like I entered the Dr. Ruth forum.   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 09:07:46 PM
im talkin richard boone here!!!!

I was just raising a little L
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 22, 2007, 09:11:16 PM
I gotta go now.... my wife says it's time now.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 22, 2007, 09:15:01 PM
I gotta go now.... my wife says it's time now.


She had probably been working on him since Saturday ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 09:17:19 PM
She had probably been working on him since Saturday ;)


Dundeedad----I'll have to sit you in the corner with nosh - behave......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 09:18:50 PM


It's a 2 way street.  

I am not going to knock myself out romancing a man that doesn't have any interest in turning me on as well. No wham bam thank you ..............
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 09:21:00 PM
Don't get me wrong. I've had 28 great years with great sex, I couldn't be happier, but ask any man that isn't on this thread trying to impress the women and they will agree that women expect more romance than they give. They have the control.

It's not about control.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 09:22:32 PM
WOW...   I posted a little blurb earlier...

took wife to dinner...  today's her birthday...  tomorrow's her anniversary...  

got back to this thread and it has absolutely exploded...

we've jumped all the way up to 5th most popular on the replies list...  25 more to make it 4th...   24 after mine...   it is definitely and active subject...   and everybody thinks they're an expert...  
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 09:22:48 PM
triggers??

well just call me palladin...have gun...will travel!!! ;D

rotflmao
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 09:24:16 PM
WOW...   I posted a little blurb earlier...

took wife to dinner...  today's her birthday...  tomorrow's her anniversary...  

got back to this thread and it has absolutely exploded...

we've jumped all the way up to 5th most popular on the replies list...  25 more to make it 4th...   24 after mine...   it is definitely and active subject...   and everybody thinks they're an expert...  

Happy Birthday Mrs. BRD!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 09:24:35 PM
It's a 2 way street.  

I am not going to knock myself out romancing a man that doesn't have any interest in turning me on as well. No wham bam thank you ..............

Some men just dont know how, or are to afraid of looking un-masculine.  Some guys are cavemenish and dont know any other way.  That is when people end up turning to another partner - to get what it is they want at home but aren't.   Romancing a man is different.  Each man (as each woman) likes different things.  Maybe for some men it might be theri favorite meal - some may like it if they get home and a hot bath is waiting - .  The same holds for women - we need to make sure things stay spicy too in the bedroom (or kitchen, yard...where ever).
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 09:26:54 PM
She had probably been working on him since Saturday ;)
  HA! I was wondering when you were gonna stop lurkin' & say somethin!!   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 22, 2007, 09:28:16 PM
Some men just dont know how, or are to afraid of looking un-masculine.  Some guys are cavemenish and dont know any other way.  That is when people end up turning to another partner - to get what it is they want at home but aren't.   Romancing a man is different.  Each man (as each woman) likes different things.  Maybe for some men it might be theri favorite meal - some may like it if they get home and a hot bath is waiting - .  The same holds for women - we need to make sure things stay spicy too in the bedroom (or kitchen, yard...where ever).

I agree but it is a 2 way street. If your woman is not romancing you the way you want or need, then you should be talking to her about it....don't you think?  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 09:29:35 PM
  and everybody thinks they're an expert...  

yeah...I talk s*** good  - dont I??????  Just know what I want BRD...just know what I want..and like....
you know gotta keep the chains and whips ready....(just read the last 2 words backwards....ready whip a good thing to add to collection)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: belladonna on October 22, 2007, 09:30:14 PM
What is this, the Kinsey Report?   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 09:36:22 PM
Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but the rush has definitely been on a downhill grade (albeit a slight one) since I was about 18.  I heard or read somewhere that women don't peak out until the age 35 or so.  If there are any ladies out there willing to admit they've reached the ripe old age of 35, would you agree with this??

I'm 40 and not done yet...and see no end in sight
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 09:38:16 PM
Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but the rush has definitely been on a downhill grade (albeit a slight one) since I was about 18.  I heard or read somewhere that women don't peak out until the age 35 or so.  If there are any ladies out there willing to admit they've reached the ripe old age of 35, would you agree with this??

any good cook knows you can't have Ready Whip without chocolate syrup ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 09:42:17 PM
I'm 40 and not done yet...and see no end in sight

cc....  we've been married almost as long as you've been alive...   and still no end in sight :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: belladonna on October 22, 2007, 09:43:12 PM
Ok.  I am 56 years old.  When I was in my 20's sex was good.  When I hit my 30's it was even better.  When I hit my 40's it was still pretty good.  When I hit menopause, it started going down the crapper.  Fortunately, at the same time my husband's prostate starting kicking in and now we are on a level playing field.  If something ever happened to my husband  (like death)  I could not imagine frolicking in bed with another man.  It would be bizarre.  
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:07:44 PM
I'm 40 and not done yet...and see no end in sight

Ditto!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 10:10:24 PM
You crack me up cc :o ;D

I crack me up too dundeedad!  but you did ask....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:10:41 PM
I didn't ask if you were done yet!  Do you think the best (dancing in the sheets of course) is ahead of, or behind you?  (Are you playing the front or back nine? - Sorry - I'm addicted to the game and make a lot of golf analogies)

Best ever is right now. Well, not RIGHT now... You know what I mean! But, Handsome and I have only been together for about 2 1/2 years. That might make a difference.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 10:12:51 PM
Best ever is right now. Well, not RIGHT now... You know what I mean!






MM - you made me choke on water....roflol.....  thanks for adding not RIGHT now...that made me feel better for him
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:17:39 PM
Best ever is right now. Well, not RIGHT now... You know what I mean!






MM - you made me choke on water....roflol.....  thanks for adding not RIGHT now...that made me feel better for him


I don't know cc...  seems like she's been away from the keyboard for a while...   I noticed this thread slowed down for a while...    seems like eveybody's off to do research....   everybody wants to be an expert ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:24:04 PM
Congratulations posters...

this thread is now officially in 4th place on the alltime great MonroeTalks list of Popular topics...   not really amazing when you think about it...   lots of particiapation...  hardly any lurkers...  they're probably too nervous to even open it...

Three little letters...   amazing...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:30:37 PM
Only 40 to go to make it to 3rd place...   don't drop the ball (no pun intended) now...

Let's take this all the way (OK, maybe small pun intended)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:30:50 PM
I don't know cc...  seems like she's been away from the keyboard for a while...   I noticed this thread slowed down for a while...    seems like eveybody's off to do research....   everybody wants to be an expert ;D ;D ;D

Had to shower, Dawg... This thread made me all hot & sweaty!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:31:45 PM
Had to shower, Dawg... This thread made me all hot & sweaty!!  :D


tmi mom :-[ :-[ :-[
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:33:56 PM
LOL!! Just kidding!!!! When you have little kids, your alloted time to bathe is pretty limited! Notice I came right back here to see what y'all have been up to!!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 22, 2007, 10:34:06 PM
Contratulations?  

Not so sure it's a proud, proud moment.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 22, 2007, 10:36:29 PM
Contratulations?  

Not so sure it's a proud, proud moment.

yeah but where else can complete strangers go to talk about sex without worrying about a raid or something?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 22, 2007, 10:38:13 PM
Sexual repression is a very bad thing.

You speak too much about things you know NOTHING about.

So much for the numbers.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:39:09 PM
LOL!! Just kidding!!!! When you have little kids, your alloted time to bathe is pretty limited! Notice I came right back here to see what y'all have been up to!!  ;)

You're not fooling us...  

you came right back here because you knew we'd be talking about anybody that's away from the keyboard for more than 15 minutes...    

if you were gone less than 15 minutes we'd all figure it wasn't worth the effort ;) ;)

Congrats, you passed...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:42:37 PM
You speak too much about things you know NOTHING about.

So much for the numbers.



Numbers? MM1, I don't wish to engage in any sort of battle with you. Sorry, won't play.  :-\
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 22, 2007, 10:44:16 PM
You're not fooling us...  

you came right back here because you knew we'd be talking about anybody that's away from the keyboard for more than 15 minutes...    

if you were gone less than 15 minutes we'd all figure it wasn't worth the effort ;) ;)

Congrats, you passed...

Ha! Thanks, Dawg! Ok, I'm leaving for the nite. My sweetie and I are going to watch some tv and relax. We washed windows this afternoon (what a drag!) and I'm beat. Chat with you all tomorrow!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:45:57 PM
Ha! Thanks, Dawg! Ok, I'm leaving for the nite. My sweetie and I are going to watch some tv and relax. We washed windows this afternoon (what a drag!) and I'm beat. Chat with you all tomorrow!

OK... try to remember half of what you heard today ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 22, 2007, 10:46:39 PM
The topic was such a let down to begin but I’m glad to see it’s starting to garner more attention

Well I have a 1969 vintage little lady (38) and just today she made a comment on how I always smell good (it’s just the antiperspirant) so I expect she needs to be serviced.

Its funny how she’s more into the verbal sweet nothings and I’m more into the visual aspect.

She likes the lights off but I like the glow of the muted TV while we enjoy the music.

I’ve once heard the cooking analogy that you have to get the oven hot before you put the meat in.

We’ve been together long enough to where she has me trained in the things she likes and I’m thrilled she’s not the type to just lay there.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 22, 2007, 10:48:08 PM
Numbers? MM1, I don't wish to engage in any sort of battle with you. Sorry, won't play.  :-\

So, we agree to stay on the high road?  That's a good thing.

After your "sexual repression" comment, we'll call it a draw. OK?  

Sorry MonroeMom.  You've just taken your teasing and flirtation to a real low.  I've been reading along for quite some time now.  I may not toss out every oooh and ahhh to rack up numbers, but I've been here.  And, I guess I'm just a little surprised for sure.  

But, that's my opinon and I'm done.  Now, I won't play.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 10:50:39 PM
The topic was such a let down to begin but I’m glad to see it’s starting to garner more attention

Well I have a 1969 vintage little lady (38) and just today she made a comment on how I always smell good (it’s just the antiperspirant) so I expect she needs to be serviced.

Its funny how she’s more into the verbal sweet nothings and I’m more into the visual aspect.

She likes the lights off but I like the glow of the muted TV while we enjoy the music.

I’ve once heard the cooking analogy that you have to get the oven hot before you put the meat in.

We’ve been together long enough to where she has me trained in the things she likes and I’m thrilled she’s not the type to just lay there.


so, I take it that means you're done for the night ff...

wow, cc, they're droppin' like flies...

and my wife is glued to the TV watchin' Monday Night Football...  

I'm trying to work but keep gettin' distracted with this thread ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MomEm on October 22, 2007, 11:07:43 PM

Jeepers, you all were busy with this thread today!

One thing I do know, MEN will NOT NOT NOT be printing this on Friday!

MomEm
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 22, 2007, 11:11:00 PM
Jeepers, you all were busy with this thread today!

One thing I do know, MEN will NOT NOT NOT be printing this on Friday!

MomEm

I think that's a safe bet MomEm...

I'll bet they cringe when they see some of this on the sidebar of the www.monroenews.com webpage...   It only shows a small part of the relevant post...   sometimes a little bit is worse than the whole post ;D ;D ;D

This is what forums are all about...   group participation...   and if one person learns something "positive"...   well worth the effort ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on October 23, 2007, 12:21:18 AM
I think that's a safe bet MomEm...

I'll bet they cringe when they see some of this on the sidebar of the www.monroenews.com webpage...   It only shows a small part of the relevant post...   sometimes a little bit is worse than the whole post ;D ;D ;D

This is what forums are all about...   group participation...   and if one person learns something "positive"...   well worth the effort ;) ;)

Darn, was hoping to get my name listed in the paper under this section/topic!  :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on October 23, 2007, 12:32:15 AM
Noticed that there are like 8 guests viewing this sex topic.  :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 12:34:29 AM
Noticed that there are like 8 guests viewing this sex topic.  :P

Well Whiskers....  post something really tempting...   they may decide to go with this topic for the paper....  it is really "popular" ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 12:35:46 AM
Noticed that there are like 8 guests viewing this sex topic.  :P

Well, let's invite 'em all in to talk...   lots of room on here now...  couldn't hardly get a word  in here edgewise earlier...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 12:42:38 AM
we only need about 20 posts to move into the top 3 of the most posted to thread...   and less than 50 to make it to # 2...

then it's like 300 more to get to number 1...   high school football is more popular....   go figure...   
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 12:42:55 AM
Well, let's invite 'em all in to talk...   lots of room on here now...  couldn't hardly get a word  in here edgewise earlier...

whatcha saying BRD - there were a lot of us piping in there for awhile at once.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 12:43:51 AM
we only need about 20 posts to move into the top 3 of the most posted to thread...   and less than 50 to make it to # 2...

then it's like 300 more to get to number 1...   high school football is more popular....   go figure...   

oh once the guys from the "morning crew" read - you know some of them will help move this up. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 12:46:18 AM
whatcha saying BRD - there were a lot of us piping in there for awhile at once.

We went to dinner and to take pictures for a job...   by the time we got back there were 3 or 4 pages of posts ;D ;D

and Joe Blow started it as a joke I think...   and MonroeMom had everybody goin' a couple of weeks ago on sexual orientation...   that one she started as a joke too...   Wow, if somebody ever starts a serious thread about it...   it'll take over the entire forum ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 12:49:13 AM
We went to dinner and to take pictures for a job...   by the time we got back there were 3 or 4 pages of posts ;D ;D

and Joe Blow started it as a joke I think...   and MonroeMom had everybody goin' a couple of weeks ago on sexual orientation...   that one she started as a joke too...   Wow, if somebody ever starts a serious thread about it...   it'll take over the entire forum ;D ;D ;D

I think you are right.  But sex is one topic everyone will look at to read - if they admit it or not.  I just hope that some lucky couple was able to enjoy a few ideas learned tonight.  LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 12:51:55 AM
I think you are right.  But sex is one topic everyone will look at to read - if they admit it or not.  I just hope that some lucky couple was able to enjoy a few ideas learned tonight.  LOL

That's why they can sell so many different magazines...   200 "new ways" if you looked at all the magazines on any give day...   

and to think the basics haven't changed for years ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:09:52 AM
we only need about 20 posts to move into the top 3 of the most posted to thread...   and less than 50 to make it to # 2...

then it's like 300 more to get to number 1...   high school football is more popular....   go figure...   

Then on the "most views" side,  this thread needs about 2000 more views to break into the top 10 over there ;) ;)

so, the posters are doing a great job...   the lurkers are lagging behind....   sounds like a good lesson here ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:23:44 AM
pphew!  For a minute there I thought that "favorite position" you were embarrassed to talk about had something to do with a computer desk :o ;D

DundeeDad...   we were gone to dinner thru the "hottest" part of this thread...   I've looked back and can't find anything about the "computer desK" position....   is this something really new or just something from those pulp magazines that's being repackaged, renamed, now it's new...

Like saying they're bringing out a new model of women :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 06:38:12 AM
back nine? front nine?? did dundeedad give his explanation of what he considers a "nine" to be???

sounds pretty kinky to me!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 23, 2007, 07:31:12 AM
It's a 2 way street.  

I am not going to knock myself out romancing a man that doesn't have any interest in turning me on as well. No wham bam thank you ..............

That was my point. Men are expected to knock themselves out romancing women, because women are emotional.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Joe Blow on October 23, 2007, 07:52:32 AM
Only 40 to go to make it to 3rd place...   don't drop the ball (no pun intended) now...

Let's take this all the way (OK, maybe small pun intended)

 ;D ;D ;D

how do you find these statistics?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 08:36:27 AM
lol Nosh.  This reminds me of a T-shirt I've seen - Liquor in the front - Poker in the rear ;D

roflmao!!!!!! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 23, 2007, 09:14:04 AM
Liquor in the front - Poker in the rear ;D
One of my favorite sayings!

I like poker...   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 23, 2007, 09:18:30 AM
One of my favorite sayings!

I like poker...   ;D

Me too.  Wasn't Nosh just saying in another thread that he spends a good part of his Saturday's playing poker ??? ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 09:23:24 AM
MonroeMom said something like she was having the best sex of her life RIGHT NOW.  Taken literally that meant she was typing the message at the time, so I through the computer desk thing in there.  I know - pretty lame.

OK DundeeDad...   I got it now...   sometimes I'm a little bit slow...  5 yrs....  10 yrs... :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 09:26:37 AM
Ok guys, if you keep perpetuating my happy sex comment, you're just gonna get folks all stirred up again. We don't want the morality patrol nipping our heels!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 09:29:06 AM
we only need about 20 posts to move into the top 3 of the most posted to thread...   and less than 50 to make it to # 2...

then it's like 300 more to get to number 1...   high school football is more popular....   go figure...   

Well, Dawg, looks like you're certainly doing your part on this thread! LOL!! Keep posting!! Go, Dawg!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 09:39:17 AM
Ok guys, if you keep perpetuating my happy sex comment, you're just gonna get folks all stirred up again. We don't want the morality patrol nipping our heels!!  :D

Oh c'mon MonroeMom...   we were just poking a little fun at you ;D ;D ;D

This "sex" thing has been goin' on for a long time....  I don't think the morality police are going to stop it now :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 23, 2007, 09:54:22 AM
Let’s talk about toys

I’m constantly hearing about those parties called “pure romance” in which “toys” are displayed much like Tupperware.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 10:02:35 AM
Wow this one here took off....   I am speechless for once..

As for toys... The wife and I always enjoy Xbox

Why did MM1 even bother coming in and attacking MM btw?  That was totally unecessary... What is this... post count envy?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: belladonna on October 23, 2007, 10:03:52 AM
FF:

In the early 80's when I was a young Mom those parties were quite popular.   :o

I am sure some of the merchandise has been updated.  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 10:05:33 AM
Why did MM1 even bother coming in and attacking MM btw?  That was totally unecessary... What is this... post count envy?


 :-*


BTW, I like XBox, too!!  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 10:07:14 AM
Let’s talk about toys

I’m constantly hearing about those parties called “pure romance” in which “toys” are displayed much like Tupperware.


boy ff - you'll talk about anything wont ya?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 23, 2007, 10:13:55 AM
One time we ordered one from Adam & Eve and when it arrived in the mailbox, the package was all ripped open for all to see  :o

We’re still a little embarrassed whenever we see the mailman  :-[

We called A&E and told them to take us off their mailing list! (That took two years)  >:(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 10:40:49 AM
Me too.  Wasn't Nosh just saying in another thread that he spends a good part of his Saturday's playing poker ??? ???

i play poker and i also poker or is it pokem???  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 10:41:42 AM
Let’s talk about toys

I’m constantly hearing about those parties called “pure romance” in which “toys” are displayed much like Tupperware.


you really need to keep an eye on those chinese toys though!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 23, 2007, 11:26:57 AM
The problem with the romance parties is that most of them are for woman only.

I like to go to those things too, but the only "co-ed" one I have ever been to was the co-ed one I hosted.

It was great though. I got to see some things I would have never thought of, and I used my entire profit to buy goodies. I have a friend that does it now, and you would not believe the profit margin! I was going to start selling them just so I could buy my goodies cheap.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 11:31:41 AM
ok guys...lets get off the toys - not too many women are going to discuss her bag of goodies. 

yesterday you all wanted women to participate here....whats up now?

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 11:50:40 AM
ok guys...lets get off the toys - not too many women are going to discuss her bag of goodies. 

yesterday you all wanted women to participate here....whats up now?



oh come on cc...i bet you have pet names for your goodies!!!!

rover...bosco...big ben???? roflol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 23, 2007, 12:36:02 PM

OH!
Now I get it. You're here to throttle things down on every thread.
I was beginning to wonder about the way you come on and say how you are irritated & wish we would take our comments some place else, etc.
Hey, don't let God's word get you all bent out of shape.
As usual, somebody asked a question. They answer.
Then you come on and disapprove of their answer and want them to go away.

And, you sir, are entitled to your opinions. as everyone is.
I was just befuddled how you got so upset when the other thread was ONLY on page 4 and you blew a gasket.
But now I fully understand!
And no hard feelings, I just couldn't resist bringing this point out.
Maybe you don't realize that you're doing it.
Don't get me wrong, in my humble opinion, most of the time you are balanced.
I just think that when someone asks a question and someone answers, there really is no need for snide remarks & inuendo.

I hope you are the kind of guy that can take some criticism since you're pretty good at dishing it out - even when you are dead wrong.
Again, I'm very sorry if you take this the wrong way but it was just an observation of a newby.
And if we ALL notice, it appears that most every thread is the same people day in & day out.
Not that anything is wrong with that, just the impression I get.
Newby's should be welcome also and so should their opinions.
That's what these threads are all about, don't you agree?

I tried to do this tactfully, so hopefully you don't take major offense to it.
And I just couldn't resist when I saw your chastisement again for someone simply answering a question.
Wow this was from page 6 and I see it's now on page 12? Oh, now 13!
Just another observation. After you bashed Christfollower - the mob mentality kicked into gear for a moment until things got back on track -SEX! Ha Ha!
It looks like it's back to SEX now.


My only response is that you've combined text - which doesn't show up on this post - from TWO DIFFERENT posts (#85 and #92) to create a quote which will be taken out of context AS YOU'VE COPIED IT...and then you chastise me ??!  C'mon now.     If anyone's interested, it's #185.   

No other reply.    I'll let all of my posts speak for themselves and yours will do the same.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 12:39:07 PM
oh come on cc...i bet you have pet names for your goodies!!!!

rover...bosco...big ben???? roflol

pick your self up off that floor nosh...I aint a tellin'

next.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 23, 2007, 01:01:30 PM
I have heard about the huge profit margins with these kind of parties too.  Well, let's face it, it's not the kind of thing you would walk into WalMart and find sitting there on the shelf!

I wonder if any of these 'parties' offer free demonstrations?

Kind of like the guy you see at the County Fair with the latest gizmo that cleans your kitchen floors.  "Hello, Ma'am, you look like you have a little pent-up anxiety there.  Step right into my booth, and let me introduce you to Big Ben, featuring our new 'SensorySkin'(R), which sells TODAY ONLY, since it's the last day of the fair, for $29.99.  Yes, that's right, only $29.99!!!  Everybody else, please gather 'round, you can be next!" 

(http://bestsmileys.com/expressions/9.gif)

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:03:47 PM
I have heard about the huge profit margins with these kind of parties too.  Well, let's face it, it's not the kind of thing you would walk into WalMart and find sitting there on the shelf!

I wonder if any of these 'parties' offer free demonstrations?

Kind of like the guy you see at the County Fair with the latest gizmo that cleans your kitchen floors.  "Hello, Ma'am, you look like you have a little pent-up anxiety there.  Step right into my booth, and let me introduce you to Big Ben, featuring our new 'SensorySkin'(R), which sells TODAY ONLY, since it's the last day of the fair, for $29.99.  Yes, that's right, only $29.99!!!  Everybody else, please gather 'round, you can be next!" 

([url]http://bestsmileys.com/expressions/9.gif[/url])




Wow livewire...   that was very realistic...  have you worked the fair in real life???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:06:53 PM
oh come on cc...i bet you have pet names for your goodies!!!!
rover...bosco...big ben???? roflol

most common name or refernece I've ever heard is BOB ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 01:09:42 PM
most common name or refernece I've ever heard is BOB ;) ;)


thats what women do dawg...they do the..."bob"!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 23, 2007, 01:12:36 PM

thats what women do dawg...they do the..."bob"!!
Yeah, but don't forget, you gotta 'romance' them for two days first. :-\

Do toys 'romance' them for two days first?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:25:41 PM
Yeah, but don't forget, you gotta 'romance' them for two days first. :-\

Do toys 'romance' them for two days first?

Yeah, that's right, and they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn either... >:(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 01:32:14 PM
Well, since they're so low maintenance, maybe you big tawkin' guys should get some toys for your own selves!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 01:35:53 PM
Oh that hurts.. I think you guys have finally struck a MM nerve!! LOL!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 01:37:17 PM
Yeah, but don't forget, you gotta 'romance' them for two days first. :-\

Do toys 'romance' them for two days first?

Alright...you got me back......

I never said you HAD to romance for 2 days....I said if you cant properlly take care of business on the spot you had to romance for 2 days.  But....if we are not worth romancing for a couple days...you might get cut short of a few extras in the night time......

After all we aren't asking you to build an monument in our honor - just give us some of your tenderness.

We could go on and on about romancing.  Guys say we dont romance them - shoot it sounds like some guys dont know how to romance so how ya gonna know if we are romancing you or not?  For some guys all romancing means is we take our own shirt off.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:38:24 PM
Oh that hurts.. I think you guys have finally struck a MM nerve!! LOL!


Hold on Farmer ted...   don't be so fast to seperate yourself from us with that "you guys" line...

You're in this one too ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 01:40:56 PM

Hold on Farmer ted...   don't be so fast to seperate yoursef from us with that "you guys" line...

You're in this one too ;) ;) ;)

yeah yeah what BRD said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol your in this one now buddy
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:42:26 PM
We could go on and on about romancing.  Guys say we dont romance them - shoot it sounds like some guys dont know how to romance so how ya gonna know if we are romancing you or not?  For some guys all romancing means is we take our own shirt off.....

I think this is why that book about the planets is so popular...

men-women   pluto-saturn...    something about that anyway ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 01:44:12 PM
Not me.  I pulled out (pun intended) just in time ;)

your here now Dundeedad! - whatcha got? your obviously curious..ya looked again...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 23, 2007, 01:47:57 PM
Ok.  I am 56 years old.  When I was in my 20's sex was good.  When I hit my 30's it was even better.  When I hit my 40's it was still pretty good.  When I hit menopause, it started going down the crapper.  Fortunately, at the same time my husband's prostate starting kicking in and now we are on a level playing field.  If something ever happened to my husband  (like death)  I could not imagine frolicking in bed with another man.  It would be bizarre.  

I had a partial hysterectomy and my chances of falling into full blown menopause is (hopefully) much less....I dont have any plans of slowing down otherwise! Unless, like you said, if I where to lose my SO, he has been my only love for the past 23 years so it would be almost impossible to accept someone else in his place.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 01:51:05 PM
OK posters... be aware...   5 more posts on this "nasty thread started as a joke" and it moves into 2nd place on the "most posts" list...

Lets give a little "extra surge" and put it "over the top" so to speak :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 23, 2007, 01:53:48 PM
Who is willing to talk about "roll playing"???

Do you roll play in your sex-capades?

Or do you men think that that is too much work too?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 02:04:50 PM
Who is willing to talk about "roll playing"???
Do you roll play in your sex-capades?
Or do you men think that that is too much work too?

Oh TPoKE...  don't mind talkin' at all...   and it is certainly not too much work...  after all, how much work is it to pull on a pair of cowboy boots (I forgot about those in the Shoe thread)...

the only real difficult part is keeping the "spurs" shined up ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 02:07:41 PM
Sex is now officially more popular than an off limits skate park... 

but still lagging way behind High School Football...   go figure that one....

I guess they've been playin' football longer...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 02:21:22 PM
Lets give a little "extra surge" and put it "over the top" so to speak :D :D

You are puntastic, BRD!! Puntacular!! Opun minded, too!! You're a lot of pun!! xoxo
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 02:23:04 PM
Who is willing to talk about "roll playing"???

Do you roll play in your sex-capades?

Or do you men think that that is too much work too?

Nope, I can't play with you naughty girls anymore. I got in trouble! My lips are sealed!!  :-X
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 23, 2007, 02:24:14 PM
I think we're going to set a record here in the forum?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 02:30:39 PM
You are puntastic, BRD!! Puntacular!! Opun minded, too!! You're a lot of pun!! xoxo

Let me assure you MonroeMom....    flattery will get you EVERYWHERE ;) ;) ;)

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 02:31:23 PM
Nope, I can't play with you naughty girls anymore. I got in trouble! My lips are sealed!!  :-X

I'm not touching that either.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 02:38:06 PM
I'm not touching that either.....

Nope, I can't play with you naughty girls anymore. I got in trouble! My lips are sealed!!  :-X

Well you girls are leaving me lookin' pretty foolish...    just stanin' here in my boots, spinnin' my spurs...    waitin' for somebody to come out and play ;) ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 23, 2007, 02:50:11 PM
Well you girls are leaving me lookin' pretty foolish...    just stanin' here in my boots, spinnin' my spurs...    waitin' for somebody to come out and play ;) ;) ;) ;)

Sounds like you got your Halloween costume figured out anyway  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MomEm on October 23, 2007, 02:51:33 PM
Are you noticing the correlation between the # of posts in this thread and the # of threads started that are of the religious nature?


MomEm

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 02:56:47 PM
Are you noticing the correlation between the # of posts in this thread and the # of threads started that are of the religious nature?
MomEm

Sure have MomEm....   

the trouble is, their posts aren't getting many replies or even views...   
everybody's over here to see how we're going to outdo ourselves next ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 03:24:40 PM
Yeah and it is probably all the hyper christians (closet-freaks) that are giving us all the views!!

"It ain't nothing, but a good time"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 03:30:05 PM
Well you girls are leaving me lookin' pretty foolish...    just stanin' here in my boots, spinnin' my spurs...    waitin' for somebody to come out and play ;) ;) ;) ;)

Okayyyy, hang on.... Just let me get my chaps....  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 03:34:48 PM
ok i like the missionary position best...cause im a very devout catholic!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 03:42:28 PM
I got my hat and my lassoo... Let's party!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 03:43:28 PM
I got my hat and my lassoo... Let's party!

save a horse ride a cowboy...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 03:49:30 PM
lets get back to this romantic thing.


i think some of these ladies need to watch that classic movie called..."romancing the bone"!!!

that sure was a great movie!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 23, 2007, 03:54:41 PM
lets get back to this romantic thing.


i think some of these ladies need to watch that classic movie called..."romancing the bone"!!!

that sure was a great movie!!!!

Hey I've seen that one.  Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner right?  Weren't they searching for a priceless bone ??? ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 03:59:40 PM
I believe that got beat at the box office (eh hem) by Shaving Ryans Privates.   Or was it Forrest Hump?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 04:03:24 PM
you 3...nosh, Dundeedad, and farmer ted....to the corner with the lot of you with all the other bad boys

you guys are so bad!

Why is it that a guy will bring up a topic like romance and when the topic gets serious - they add sex twists on it?  One of my points when talking about romance was ....romance us with out expectations. 

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on October 23, 2007, 04:10:06 PM
I believe that got beat at the box office (eh hem) by Shaving Ryans Privates.   Or was it Forrest Hump?


My favorite was " Sheepless in Seattle".
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 04:25:16 PM
i cant go in the corner...im at work!!!  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 23, 2007, 04:41:13 PM
I am in the corner... now what?  Please tell BRD to stop poking me in the ribs.. Please tell me that is a finger....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 04:54:34 PM
thought you couldnt play...I just wont discuss role playing - dont want to give up too much about myself -

Ah well, I've decided that anyone who is overwhelmed by my honesty or underwhelmed by my lack of primness & propriety just ain't my kind of person anyhow. I'd rather "laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints" any day!!

Now, where is that bull whip....

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 23, 2007, 05:05:58 PM
Ah well, I've decided that anyone who is overwhelmed by my honesty or underwhelmed by my lack of primness & propriety just ain't my kind of person anyhow. I'd rather "laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints" any day!!

Now, where is that bull whip....



Now ya talking! :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 23, 2007, 05:11:17 PM
Whats so hard about talking about roll play? All you need is some imagination...and a maybe a costume or two....or not!

Give you some ideas of the ones we have created:

The Cable Guy....which is always fun!

The Damsel in Destress....

The Witch and the little lost boy....

But my favorite is: The Pimp in the Pulpit.... (this one I am sure will make the christians faint!!) :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 23, 2007, 06:09:52 PM
I’ve never role played….it just doesn’t sound interesting to me but I would try it if that’s what my wife wanted….fortunately she doesn’t.

I used to be the driver/bodyguard for a female “escort” and one time I was dragged into being a “companion” for the Doctors wife while my friend was occupying the doctor doing who knows what.

There was one scary moment where the Doctor entered the room to borrow the TV/VCR on the mobile cart….. I didn’t break the action but I didn’t take my eyes off the guy either since for all I knew he may have only been receiving a back massage.

The wife was totally hot and I couldn’t believe I was making $200 for that

Well pleasant memories for me anyway.

My wife knows absolutely everything…I just can’t lie.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 23, 2007, 06:16:19 PM
Go with hubby to the rheumatologist and miss everything!!!

MM.......you go girl!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 06:20:05 PM
how about the wife or gf going into a bar or club...and sits at the bar lookin real real good...orders a few drinks for herself and then the drinks begin to be free from the guys trying to pick her up...of course as they come and talk she kindly tells them to flake off...they arent her type...then ole faithful walks in the door a few hours later and offers to buy her a drink...which she accepts of course and as ole faithful attempts to pick her up as the others failed to do...she is nothing but smiles which has the others wondering what the hell!!!!!

yea i know..nothing but a male ego booster but hey...its fun!!!!!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: chuntley on October 23, 2007, 06:27:13 PM
how about the wife or gf going into a bar or club...and sits at the bar lookin real real good...orders a few drinks for herself and then the drinks begin to be free from the guys trying to pick her up...of course as they come and talk she kindly tells them to flake off...they arent her type...then ole faithful walks in the door a few hours later and offers to buy her a drink...which she accepts of course and as ole faithful attempts to pick her up as the others failed to do...she is nothing but smiles which has the others wondering what the hell!!!!!

yea i know..nothing but a male ego booster but hey...its fun!!!!!   ;D
[/quote

What do you do if she gets a better offer. hhahahahaha  :Dopps :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 06:28:07 PM
how about the wife or gf going into a bar or club...and sits at the bar lookin real real good...orders a few drinks for herself and then the drinks begin to be free from the guys trying to pick her up...of course as they come and talk she kindly tells them to flake off...they arent her type...then ole faithful walks in the door a few hours later and offers to buy her a drink...which she accepts of course and as ole faithful attempts to pick her up as the others failed to do...she is nothing but smiles which has the others wondering what the hell!!!!!

yea i know..nothing but a male ego booster but hey...its fun!!!!!   ;D
[/quote

What do you do if she gets a better offer. hhahahahaha  :Dopps :o

that never happened...that i know of anyway!!!! lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 23, 2007, 06:42:10 PM
I’ve never role played….it just doesn’t sound interesting to me but I would try it if that’s what my wife wanted….fortunately she doesn’t.

I used to be the driver/bodyguard for a female “escort” and one time I was dragged into being a “companion” for the Doctors wife while my friend was occupying the doctor doing who knows what.

There was one scary moment where the Doctor entered the room to borrow the TV/VCR on the mobile cart….. I didn’t break the action but I didn’t take my eyes off the guy either since for all I knew he may have only been receiving a back massage.

The wife was totally hot and I couldn’t believe I was making $200 for that

Well pleasant memories for me anyway.

My wife knows absolutely everything…I just can’t lie.


Dude... It sounds like you've lived out an action movie!! You should write books!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: chuntley on October 23, 2007, 07:33:38 PM
that never happened...that i know of anyway!!!! lol
g       

gonna have to get sweet thang to get the mini out and try it                 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 23, 2007, 07:39:44 PM
Has anyone heard of the Toledo Dancers?

Back in the early 1980's my wife worked at one of the motels on N. Dixie at I-75 and a couple of times a month this group from Toledo would reserve a bunch of rooms. They would tape notes to the doors that described in code what the preference of the person in the room was. Then they would spend all night long going from room to room. Sort of like a smorgasmboard.

Any Dancers here?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 23, 2007, 08:34:41 PM
Has anyone heard of the Toledo Dancers?

Back in the early 1980's my wife worked at one of the motels on N. Dixie at I-75 and a couple of times a month this group from Toledo would reserve a bunch of rooms. They would tape notes to the doors that described in code what the preference of the person in the room was. Then they would spend all night long going from room to room. Sort of like a smorgasmboard.

Any Dancers here?


no...but i can take lessons real fast!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ell on October 23, 2007, 09:00:37 PM
Vote YES for sex!!

([url]http://bestsmileys.com/oneofakind/6.gif[/url])


You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 09:20:34 PM
Ah well, I've decided that anyone who is overwhelmed by my honesty or underwhelmed by my lack of primness & propriety just ain't my kind of person anyhow. I'd rather "laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints" any day!!

Now, where is that bull whip....



Good for you girl.  I thought you meant you got in trouble with the sweetie...




Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 09:23:08 PM
I’ve never role played….it just doesn’t sound interesting to me but I would try it if that’s what my wife wanted….fortunately she doesn’t.

I used to be the driver/bodyguard for a female “escort” and one time I was dragged into being a “companion” for the Doctors wife while my friend was occupying the doctor doing who knows what.

There was one scary moment where the Doctor entered the room to borrow the TV/VCR on the mobile cart….. I didn’t break the action but I didn’t take my eyes off the guy either since for all I knew he may have only been receiving a back massage.

The wife was totally hot and I couldn’t believe I was making $200 for that

Well pleasant memories for me anyway.

My wife knows absolutely everything…I just can’t lie.



you're a living porno ff - wow
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 23, 2007, 09:25:03 PM
I am in the corner... now what?  Please tell BRD to stop poking me in the ribs.. Please tell me that is a finger....

Well Farmer Ted...   I can't tell you what it is ...   but I do know what it is NOT ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 23, 2007, 09:50:31 PM
Has anyone heard of the Toledo Dancers?

Back in the early 1980's my wife worked at one of the motels on N. Dixie at I-75 and a couple of times a month this group from Toledo would reserve a bunch of rooms. They would tape notes to the doors that described in code what the preference of the person in the room was. Then they would spend all night long going from room to room. Sort of like a smorgasmboard.

Any Dancers here?

Thanks for that tidbit of previously unknown local sexual history.

When you said your wife worked at the motel, you meant as an employee didn’t you?

Were the “Dancers” females and were they the ones waiting in the rooms with their preferences or were the clients doing the waiting?

Maybe the term “Dancers” meant both male and female and it was just a swinging club.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 23, 2007, 09:56:37 PM
I have been told that somewhere about an hour down the road from me there is an old warehouse typ place that is set up similar to this place you have talked about.  It is for couples only and you have to have a special invite.  I am told - there are rooms you just browse through and if you feel like participating - you do.  If not you move on.  Once inside the couple does not have to stay together.  I guess it has been shut down a few times but the location keeps moving.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: belladonna on October 23, 2007, 09:56:43 PM
Sounds like swingers.  
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 24, 2007, 07:35:31 AM
Thanks for that tidbit of previously unknown local sexual history.

When you said your wife worked at the motel, you meant as an employee didn’t you?

Were the “Dancers” females and were they the ones waiting in the rooms with their preferences or were the clients doing the waiting?

Maybe the term “Dancers” meant both male and female and it was just a swinging club.


Yes they were swingers both female and male and the public was not invited. Although I wonder what would happen if some stranger walked in the room.
My wife was an employee, she would clean the rooms in the motel.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 24, 2007, 07:36:58 AM
Big Red Dog

Didn't you have a TV show called "Dawg The Booty Hunter"?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 09:04:04 AM
Ah well, I've decided that anyone who is overwhelmed by my honesty or underwhelmed by my lack of primness & propriety just ain't my kind of person anyhow. I'd rather "laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints" any day!!

Now, where is that bull whip....



Isn't that in a Billy Joel song  ???  I'm sure glad you decided to stoop to our level because you're lot's of fun ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 09:17:10 AM
Big Red Dog

Didn't you have a TV show called "Dawg The Booty Hunter"?


Nope, sorry, different dog/dawg  ;D ;D    Sounds like a good idea though ;) ;)

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 24, 2007, 09:31:49 AM
I have been told that somewhere about an hour down the road from me there is an old warehouse typ place that is set up similar to this place you have talked about.  It is for couples only and you have to have a special invite.  I am told - there are rooms you just browse through and if you feel like participating - you do.  If not you move on.  Once inside the couple does not have to stay together.  I guess it has been shut down a few times but the location keeps moving.
Alcatraz mebbe?  :D

Nope, sorry, different dog/dawg  ;D ;D    Sounds like a good idea though ;) ;)


i thot it was dawg the booby hunter...and i heard he's lookin for you!!!  :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 10:15:13 AM
 i thot it was dawg the booby hunter...and i heard he's lookin for you!!!  :P

booty...   booby....   find one, you probably find the other...    he can't be lookin' too hard 'cause I'm a pretty easy dog to find...     tell him to stand next to the Custer statue and whistle...   I'll be right there ;D ;D

(PS:  I like your new avatar Marilyn.monroe ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 12:52:44 PM
Now, where is that bull whip....

MonroeMom...   you need to upgrade your accessories...   It takes a lot of room to use a bull whip "properly"...   try a nice little "Cat o' nine tails"....  You can use those almost anywhere :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 24, 2007, 01:05:00 PM
Wow, it took me two days to catch up to the front-line of this thread! lol

I wish there weren't so many sluts running rampant these days. What ever happened to getting to know one another first and that anticipation of sex for the future? It seems so much better when there's some kind of mental-chemistry.

Also, foot fetishes are gross, piercings and tattoos are good, and ala mode is a good addition to ANYTHING.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 01:14:35 PM

I wish there weren't so many sluts running rampant these days. \





I WAS done with this thread....BUT now I'm left trying to figure out this statement:

Do you mean in general or are you implying something?  Do you mean out in the real world or are you refering to people on this board.  Do you make that statement from actual experience or are you basing that comment on what you have read here?   
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 24, 2007, 01:18:28 PM



I WAS done with this thread....BUT now I'm left trying to figure out this statement:

Do you mean in general or are you implying something?  Do you mean out in the real world or are you refering to people on this board.  Do you make that statement from actual experience or are you basing that comment on what you have read here?   

On the board, of course! You dirty whores! Hahahaha!!!

Just kidding. It was a rather harsh way to express my nostaligia for the way things used to be. I'm all about people being "free" and expressing themselves, but I'll never be a person that looks at sex as a recreational activity akin to tennis. I still believe it should be an act of love.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2007, 02:24:02 PM
m0x,

While I can see that you’re trying to say the right thing, I’ve also seen you trolling for the ladies on here many times.

I doubt it would take much for a sweet little lady to capture your “attention”  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 02:27:50 PM
I'm actually waiting for some of you guys to jump in and defend our honor!  Just becasue we can openly talk sex ..... o h I am done.......

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 02:52:31 PM
I'm actually waiting for some of you guys to jump in and defend our honor!  Just becasue we can openly talk sex ..... o h I am done.......

Don't run off too far cc....   

I will say the same to mOx as anyone... 
if you're not interested in the topic, just skip over it...

and yes ff, I've seen some of mOx's posts that were not exactly "innocent"....   
there was the "I can unfasten a bra with my mind" remark...   
I'll bet he can't refasten with his mind though ;D ;D

then there was the avatar he used for a very short time....  really quite innocent once he explained it....   but anyone just surfin' thru that didn't see the "explaination" would most likely have thought the "worst" :o :o :o

mOx, be careful calling names when you're so close to the action ;D ;D


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 24, 2007, 03:02:28 PM
On the board, of course! You dirty whores! Hahahaha!!!

Just kidding. It was a rather harsh way to express my nostaligia for the way things used to be. I'm all about people being "free" and expressing themselves, but I'll never be a person that looks at sex as a recreational activity akin to tennis. I still believe it should be an act of love.

I will agree with your statement...but thats not the topic of this board. We arent pointing fingers and placing blame anywhere we are just sharing our thoughts about sexual experiences that we ourselves have had. We are having some "rare" fun on this board, oddly, without the finger pointing preaching!!! So lets keep it that way please.

Now share your favorites sexual postions and your role playing experiences or GET OUT!!!! :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 03:18:32 PM
I will agree with your statement...but thats not the topic of this board. We arent pointing fingers and placing blame anywhere we are just sharing our thoughts about sexual experiences that we ourselves have had. We are having some "rare" fun on this board, oddly, without the finger pointing preaching!!! So lets keep it that way please.

Now share your favorites sexual postions and your role playing experiences or GET OUT!!!! :D

I agree.  One of the main reasons this thread has been so successful, is that it has been light hearted, tongue in cheek type conversation which is fun to participate in.  Hopefully we can go another 100 posts or so before somebody gets their feelings hurt again. :(  MM recovered pretty quickly and I'm sure you will too cc!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 03:20:58 PM
I agree.  One of the main reasons this thread has been so successful, is that it has been light hearted, tongue in cheek type conversation which is fun to participate in.  Hopefully we can go another 100 posts or so before somebody gets their feelings hurt again. :(  MM recovered pretty quickly and I'm sure you will too cc!

Oh crap, I forgot to post something on the subject.  Let's just say it's fun to be the "pool guy" once in a while without actually having to get in there and vaccuum the dang thing ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 03:25:42 PM
I agree.  One of the main reasons this thread has been so successful, is that it has been light hearted, tongue in cheek type conversation which is fun to participate in.  Hopefully we can go another 100 posts or so before somebody gets their feelings hurt again. :(  MM recovered pretty quickly and I'm sure you will too cc!

Not that my feelings were hurt...you guys wanted women to participate and then when we did - someone makes statements that were made - to Monroemom as an individual hit and then toward me and others.  I guess some people think its ok for men to talk sex topics, and not women.  I've recovered - thanks guys for defending our honor - this has been a topic that surprisingly has been taken pretty much light hearted - which is the way I like topics.  Too many serious ones all ot once give my mind over load after a hard day/night work...no m0x -I am NOT a streetwalker.  It is fun to share ideas and debate topics such as sex - well becasue we basically do it - it's something we all have in common.  I'll go down just about any subject road (if ya cant already tell....).....ok I've recovered...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 24, 2007, 03:32:29 PM
m0x,

While I can see that you’re trying to say the right thing, I’ve also seen you trolling for the ladies on here many times.

I doubt it would take much for a sweet little lady to capture your “attention”  ;D


Oh ff........Mr. m0xie is just a big flirt online.  In person he is absolutley adorable and a complete gentleman. If my daughter were  just a few years older.........this mama would be pulling a Yente   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 24, 2007, 03:42:43 PM
Hmm...  m0x.. what is up with this?
You in a bad mood?
Been rejected recently?  Why you picking on our ladies?  Or even ladies in general?
I do recall your undoing bras with your mind comments..  I don't believe any ladies put a smack on you for that..

What were we talking about again?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 03:51:13 PM
Hmm...  m0x.. what is up with this?
You in a bad mood?
Been rejected recently?  Why you picking on our ladies?  Or even ladies in general?
I do recall your undoing bras with your mind comments..  I don't believe any ladies put a smack on you for that..

What were we talking about again?


It really is amazing how fast your mood can swing on this forum.  The other night I was really having fun on here and when the comment was made about MM it kinda made me feel sick.  I guess it just takes a little getting used to.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 03:52:14 PM
It really is amazing how fast your mood can swing on this forum.  The other night I was really having fun on here and when the comment was made about MM it kinda made me feel sick.  I guess it just takes a little getting used to.

Get us back on track then DD.......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2007, 03:55:13 PM
m0x said he was kidding so I doubt he meant any harm.

My favorite position is varied….Whichever my wife finds most enjoyable at that particular moment.

If a certain position doesn’t achieve the desired results then we’ll try another.

Pleasing my spouse is the name of the game and when she’s excited, I’m excited.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 03:55:52 PM
Get us back on track then DD.......

I threw the "pool guy" thing out there about an hour ago but nobody took off with it.  I'm not divulging any more.  It's somebody elses turn 8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 24, 2007, 03:56:02 PM
Sex thread is setting forum records...
Isn't it nice that we all have something in common???
Finally....something everybody has.....a gender...
If you don't know what gender means...look it up :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 24, 2007, 04:08:06 PM
Haven't I shared enough?  Maybe too much.....

PS...doctor is good....

Ha!  I haven't played that since I was about 10.  Maybe I'll give it a "shot" tonight lol.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 24, 2007, 04:15:17 PM
PS...doctor is good....

Oh oh.. are you not feeling well?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 24, 2007, 04:17:29 PM
Ah! whoa whoa, I wasn't saying anything pertaining to anything said here. Healthy sexual appetite is fantastic! Give me naked or give me death! It was an insomnia induced attempt at being somewhat poetic. I love you all and wish to see your naughty bits. Apologies if my post made any other implication.

I really do have handcuffs and bondage-fixin's. Someone grab the sex swing and let's learn something new!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Oh oh.. are you not feeling well?

so what your Dr. FarmerTed??  Your just trying to get me called "a name" arent ya????
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 04:21:37 PM
Ah! whoa whoa, I wasn't saying anything pertaining to anything said here. Healthy sexual appetite is fantastic! Give me naked or give me death! It was an insomnia induced attempt at being somewhat poetic. I love you all and wish to see your naughty bits. Apologies if my post made any other implication.

I really do have handcuffs and bondage-fixin's. Someone grab the sex swing and let's learn something new!

ok m0x...I'll accept your apology...but I am forced to stand you in the corner for a little while just till I figure out if your being sincere or not.  Honestly though dude I did want to smack you.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 24, 2007, 04:23:16 PM
ok m0x...I'll accept your apology...but I am forced to stand you in the corner for a little while just till I figure out if your being sincere or not.  Honestly though dude I did want to smack you.....

Oh Noooo I can't wait to see the response to that one..........LMAOOOO
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 04:25:35 PM
Oh Noooo I can't wait to see the response to that one..........LMAOOOO

Sorry....just being honest.  I wouldnt have smacked him that hard....
ewwww just thought of somethin.....he may have liked it.......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 24, 2007, 04:27:52 PM
Sorry....just being honest.  I wouldnt have smacked him that hard....
ewwww just thought of somethin.....he may have liked it.......
LMAOOOOOO EXACTLY

m0xie.......I will no longer be playing Yente with you and my daughter....... :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 04:34:04 PM
LMAOOOOOO EXACTLY  m0xie.......I will no longer be playing Yente with you and my daughter....... :D :D

Two things I have discovered with this thread...   

you cannot leave it for an hour and come back and have any idea what is going on ;D

you cannot try reading the tread backwards and gain any sense out of it...    you must go to the last read post and proceed from there... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 04:37:46 PM
Sex thread is setting forum records...
Isn't it nice that we all have something in common???
Finally....something everybody has.....a gender...
If you don't know what gender means...look it up :P

Tell us all "honestly" Normal Joe...

when you first posted this...     

did you have any idea in the world it would take off like this??   

I am like others, it is good that it has... 

and what amazes me...   for all the active posters we have....    the number of "viewers" is much, much higher...   

the advertisers are getting their money's worth out of this one ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 24, 2007, 04:43:08 PM
Sorry....just being honest.  I wouldnt have smacked him that hard....
ewwww just thought of somethin.....he may have liked it.......

I am completely sincere! I don't mind standing in a corner so long as I can still watch the action :) What's a guy gotta do to get smacked hard? I am willing to comply :P


Arbella, you know my intentions are always of the most pure nature, hahaha! Besides, I'd rather play with you and cc :O BRD can watch.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 24, 2007, 04:43:48 PM
Two things I have discovered with this thread...   

you cannot leave it for an hour and come back and have any idea what is going on ;D

you cannot try reading the tread backwards and gain any sense out of it...    you must go to the last read post and proceed from there... ;D ;D

You can only imagine how I feel........I haven't really  been involved with this thread and I am lost....I had to do some serious back tracking and get some help from cc in order to get in the loop.

BTW.......thanks cc I found it  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 04:46:31 PM
I'd rather play with you and cc :O BRD can watch.

Hey...   wait a minute....   Oh, well, I guess that's what I get for puttin' my $.02 worth in....  can I at least help with the handcuffs?? :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 04:48:23 PM
I am completely sincere! I don't mind standing in a corner so long as I can still watch the action :) What's a guy gotta do to get smacked hard? I am willing to comply :P


Arbella, you know my intentions are always of the most pure nature, hahaha! Besides, I'd rather play with you and cc :O BRD can watch.

ok...sincere you are...getting smacked maybe next time...for now...you are still in the corner
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 05:52:26 PM
I'm actually waiting for some of you guys to jump in and defend our honor!  Just becasue we can openly talk sex ..... o h I am done.......



For real!!! Geeze, I'm monogamous and in love and happy. I merely said I wouldn't rule out any playful possibilities!!

Simma down now!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 05:59:42 PM
For real!!! Geeze, I'm monogamous and in love and happy. I merely said I wouldn't rule out any playful possibilities!!

Simma down now!!

A few of the guys jumped in there pretty good.  I let them out of the corner as I did leave a few there over night...but m0x..he's in there now...even though he apologized....he's being punished for a bit. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 06:02:30 PM
It really is amazing how fast your mood can swing on this forum.  The other night I was really having fun on here and when the comment was made about MM it kinda made me feel sick.  I guess it just takes a little getting used to.

You're such a sweetie, DD (or should I just call you Pool Boy??). That remark did sting, but it's not worth engaging in a stupid online battle over. How dull. Plus, I really don't care what people think. I am who I am, and I certainly don't exist to live up to anyone else's moral standards.

It does seem that some folks are threatened by open sexuality. And then there are folks like Dawg (and the rest of us regulars on this thread) that are at the other end of the spectrum!!  :D ;) :-*  It's a lot more fun down here!! LOL!!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 06:03:28 PM
Pleasing my spouse is the name of the game and when she’s excited, I’m excited.

GOOD HUBBY!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 06:06:04 PM
Someone grab the sex swing and let's learn something new!

I'm not into the whole bondage thing (but lordee, that seems to be very popular with men!), but the swing sounds interesting... How do you hide such a thing, tho, when company comes over??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 24, 2007, 06:22:26 PM
I'm not into the whole bondage thing (but lordee, that seems to be very popular with men!), but the swing sounds interesting... How do you hide such a thing, tho, when company comes over??

Tell your company it's for lower back therapy.  (real looooow back thearapy)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 06:24:54 PM
I'm not into the whole bondage thing (but lordee, that seems to be very popular with men!), but the swing sounds interesting... How do you hide such a thing, tho, when company comes over??

I would not reccomend hanging it in the living room or kitchen.... :P

you wouldn't like playing army then huh...you know -  everyone needs a hostage
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on October 24, 2007, 06:27:33 PM
26 Pages. I see that ths thread is pretty interesting. And there are alot of  :o replies I see!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 24, 2007, 06:33:06 PM
How about pet names...does anyone use them anymore?

When my wife and I were first married I would call her Cuddlebutt and she would call me AgitateHer. Now she just calls me butt and I call her hole. Then I start singing, I'd rather be the butt than the hole, yes I would, If I could, I surely would. (Simon and Garfunkel  EL CONDOR PASA (IF I COULD)

C'mon I know you still use them.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 24, 2007, 06:53:46 PM
 It is fun to share ideas and debate topics such as sex - well becasue we basically do it - it's something we all have in common.  I'll go down just about any subject road (if ya cant already tell....).....ok I've recovered...

I agree the topic has been fun so far. But, not everyone has sex...there are still virgins in the world and there are people who practice celibacy and now I understand that there are plenty of A-sexual people also. Not saying that anyone on this board would be any of those, I'm just sayin....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TPoKE on October 24, 2007, 06:57:40 PM
How about pet names...does anyone use them anymore?

When my wife and I were first married I would call her Cuddlebutt and she would call me AgitateHer. Now she just calls me butt and I call her hole. Then I start singing, I'd rather be the butt than the hole, yes I would, If I could, I surely would. (Simon and Garfunkel  EL CONDOR PASA (IF I COULD)

C'mon I know you still use them.

If I may borrow your theme.....thanks!

Ladies:
Do you....would you call your partner Daddy in the heat of passion?

Gentlemen:
Would you...Do you like to be called Daddy in the heat of passion?

Just to spice it up...after all we talking SEX here right? ;D

I almost for got to answer your question...um, I might call him baby sometimes but I dotn really have a pet name for him nor does he have one for me...besides, baby....I know, no imagination huh? *:)

But on the flip side...I have belted out a few MMMMMMMDDDDDAAAAADDDDYYYYY!!!!'s in my day! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 24, 2007, 07:19:23 PM
omg I have tears rolling down my face, that is hysterical.........lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 07:19:42 PM

When we first started dating we went out with another couple.  We were walking in to a place..He looks at me and said "goathead"...I shoot a look at him adn proceeded to rip him to shreds.  The gal of the couple we were with looks at me and asked what I thought he said.....I said he called me a goat head....She rolled on the ground laughing - he pleaded his case and won after he said "I said go ahead"...so Goat Head has stuck a little. 


Oh, cc, that's a classic!! Goat Head!! LOL!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 24, 2007, 07:34:53 PM
The gal we were with could not even look at me that night without laughing.  The next time we went over there of course we heard oh look its *his name* and goat head.

The day he asked me to marry him he started by saying I was his forever goat head....

I Love it!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 24, 2007, 07:36:10 PM
The gal we were with could not even look at me that night without laughing.  The next time we went over there of course we heard oh look its *his name* and goat head.

The day he asked me to marry him he started by saying I was his forever goat head....

OH MAN, I think I'm going to need some oxygen if I don't stop laughing so hard.
That has to be a record for the number one funniest post on this whole site.
This one will probably end up in the newspaper.
I can't stop laughing.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 07:44:52 PM

This one will probably end up in the newspaper.
I can't stop laughing.

GOD I HOPE NOT THIS IS SUPOSED ...I HAVE TO GO DELETE NOW....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 24, 2007, 07:46:24 PM
I'm not into the whole bondage thing (but lordee, that seems to be very popular with men!), but the swing sounds interesting... How do you hide such a thing, tho, when company comes over??
put a lampshade on it?  :P
i thot they came on a stand...just say its an exercise machine  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 24, 2007, 07:47:34 PM
put a lampshade on it?  :P
i thot they came on a stand...just say its an exercise machine  :D



no need to buy one...just use the one in the neighbors backyard!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 24, 2007, 07:57:09 PM


no need to buy one...just use the one in the neighbors backyard!!  :D
*:)
 :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 24, 2007, 09:27:19 PM
All day today, while I was working, I was looking forward to reading this thread after I got home.  You guys have been busy, busy, busy!



...the swing sounds interesting... How do you hide such a thing, tho, when company comes over??
  I was thinking, if you connected it to the ceiling fan, that would give a new meaning to the word 'spinner'! 
(http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/18.gif)

I like spinners!  (http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/4.gif)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 09:31:57 PM
All day today, while I was working, I was looking forward to reading this thread after I got home.  You guys have been busy, busy, busy!


  I was thinking, if you connected it to the ceiling fan, that would give a new meaning to the word 'spinner'! 
([url]http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/18.gif[/url])

I like spinners!  ([url]http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/4.gif[/url])
REAL women have curves!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 09:33:18 PM
REAL women have curves!!

LOL...I was honestly posting the exact same thing MM......

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 09:34:42 PM
I was thinking, if you connected it to the ceiling fan, that would give a new meaning to the word 'spinner'! 
(http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/18.gif)

I like spinners!  (http://bestsmileys.com/bouncing/4.gif)
[/quote

Livewire, you got so happy with that post, you forgot the "safety posting"...    we put in an extra heavy duty fan support and bought a fan with "high torque startup"....   I've kind of been looking for a 220 volt fan ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 24, 2007, 09:36:18 PM
REAL women have curves!!

I suppose that makes ME a REAL WOMAN then.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 24, 2007, 09:36:27 PM
REAL women have curves!!

...and real males love 'em.  ;)   ...all of them.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 09:36:39 PM
LOL...I was honestly posting the exact same thing MM......

Oh boy, here we go with the "thinking alike" again...   this thread is definitely bringing out the best in "some" of us.... ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 24, 2007, 09:39:00 PM
...and real males love 'em.  ;)   ...all of them.

I can honestly say slug...   have only known a few I couldn't find something positive about...    and those few probably didn't fair very well with anybody else either ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 24, 2007, 09:45:26 PM
...and real males love 'em.  ;)   ...all of them.
:-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 09:46:18 PM
...and real males love 'em.  ;)   ...all of them.

well then you're gonna loooooove meeeee!   all woman here!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 24, 2007, 09:47:06 PM
Oh boy, here we go with the "thinking alike" again...   this thread is definitely bringing out the best in "some" of us.... ;) ;) ;)

we do think alike.....kinda groovy huh?   
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 24, 2007, 09:48:47 PM
I suppose that makes ME a REAL WOMAN then.  ;D ;D ;D
Whew!  Am I the only one that's getting warm?

I think I better open a window...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 24, 2007, 09:49:50 PM
well then you're gonna loooooove meeeee!   all woman here!

You KNOW I love all the ladies.   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on October 25, 2007, 07:52:45 PM
You see...after awhile even sex gets boring and no one cares.  :'(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 25, 2007, 07:57:57 PM
You see...after awhile even sex gets boring and no one cares.  :'(

Oh, thats not it at all Tiny...

It's just after some of these numerous back to back "marathon" sessions, even the best of us have to take a little break....

by the way Tiny...   I don't remember   you explaining how you came up with your username??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 25, 2007, 08:22:05 PM
by the way Tiny...   I don't remember   you explaining how you came up with your username??
OOOOoooo......  Sensitive subject on this thread, BRD!

Maybe it's because he's tall.  You never know! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 25, 2007, 08:26:06 PM
I imagine “tiny” is sumo wrestler size
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 25, 2007, 08:31:01 PM
Ok -ff- BRd and livewire - cc has to put you in the corner.....leave Tiny alone.  Play nice....and I'll come back and let you out after you have been behavin' for awhile.

Now cc loves ya all....but still to the corner - what am I gonna do with you all?

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 25, 2007, 08:35:45 PM
Nobody’s picking on anybody that I know of.

I’ve known a couple on guys named tiny and they were big guys.

No harm intended from me.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 25, 2007, 08:36:30 PM
Nobody’s picking on anybody that I know of.

I’ve known a couple on guys named tiny and they were big guys.

No harm intended from me.


oh alright you can come out of the corner.  ff learns fast.  cc is proud.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 25, 2007, 08:50:57 PM
Hey, no harm was meant by me either. ;D

I was just trying to give some other possibilities for Tiny's name.  Sticking up for him.  Yeah, yeah, that's it, I was helping him out!  Yeah, that sounds goo---  er, that's what I meant!

Oh well.  I don't mind being in the corner with the dog.  I like dogs.  Lord knows I've spent enough time in the doghouse.   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 25, 2007, 08:53:07 PM
Hey, no harm was meant by me either. ;D

I was just trying to give some other possibilities for Tiny's name.  Sticking up for him.  Yeah, yeah, that's it, I was helping him out!  Yeah, that sounds goo---  er, that's what I meant!

Oh well.  I don't mind being in the corner with the dog.  I like dogs.  Lord knows I've spent enough time in the doghouse.   :D


If you are truly going to behave...than you may come out of cc's corner.   You guys....you keep bringing up this thread - and I just ahve to sit you in the corner...what to do with the lot of you?  cc's proud of you to livewire.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 25, 2007, 08:59:31 PM
[
If you are truly going to behave...than you may come out of cc's corner.   You guys....you keep bringing up this thread - and I just ahve to sit you in the corner...what to do with the lot of you?  cc's proud of you to livewire.
]

Well cc...   I do have to admit maybe I was being a little "catty" with that remark...

but it was Tiny that brought the subject up...    and it sounded like maybe a little sarcasm...

I was just asking a very legitimate question...   

I'm alway interested in how posters came up with their username and avatar...

but if it is something "personal", then Tiny certainly should not be explaining it on here ;) ;) ;)

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 25, 2007, 09:03:46 PM
[]

Well cc...   I do have to admit maybe I was being a little "catty" with that remark...

but it was Tiny that brought the subject up...    and it sounded like maybe a little sarcasm...

I was just asking a very legitimate question...   

I'm alway interested in how posters came up with their username and avatar...

but if it is something "personal", then Tiny certainly should not be explaining it on here ;) ;) ;)




Alright BRD - you too are out of cc's corner.  cc still loves you and am proud of you too. 

Now that we are all getting along again...very good guys! - The thread can live on with light cheeky fun.
carry on......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 26, 2007, 09:58:37 AM
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
Steve Martin

Shame on you Steve... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 26, 2007, 10:22:42 AM
Sex is an abomination!!!

(I miss the corner with all the "cool kids")

:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 26, 2007, 10:36:43 AM
Sex is an abomination!!!

(I miss the corner with all the "cool kids")

:)

I'll have to come up with something else for you m0x...you like the corner too much! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 26, 2007, 10:38:48 AM
I'll have to come up with something else for you m0x...you like the corner too much! 

Hahaha, or perhaps I love the attention you give me. It makes me rawr.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 26, 2007, 11:56:47 AM
I haven't been there since yesterday....   was OK when I left!!!
Well, of course, BRD.  We know you couldn't have done it.  You're a dog!  You have no thumbs! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 26, 2007, 11:59:26 AM
Just tell mOx to use a tissue or something next time.  LOL   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 26, 2007, 12:01:14 PM
You know the whole corner thing never made sense. IF you are going to do it in the open, just do it.

 I mean grab a hold of that thing and just go to town! Do it until your face glows like a big red tomatoe, and when you're done, put eveything in a pan and warm it slightly, then dump it onto your favorite italian dish.




You guys were talking about grating parmesan cheese right?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 26, 2007, 12:05:55 PM
EWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 26, 2007, 12:29:34 PM
You know the whole corner thing never made sense. IF you are going to do it in the open, just do it.

 I mean grab a hold of that thing and just go to town!

Yeah, tell that to Pee-Wee Herman!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 26, 2007, 02:00:49 PM
Well, la tee da!! Y'all have reached a new low!! I'm ashamed to be seen with the likes of you!!


yeah right!!  :D

cc, I guess it's my turn in the corner now. Hope somebody has mopped up by now!!

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 26, 2007, 02:36:20 PM
Well, la tee da!! Y'all have reached a new low!! I'm ashamed to be seen with the likes of you!!


yeah right!!  :D

cc, I guess it's my turn in the corner now. Hope somebody has mopped up by now!!



I'd never put a sister in the corner...just the bad boys!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 26, 2007, 04:21:16 PM
I feel queasy now....  :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 26, 2007, 04:39:34 PM
Still eager to get into that corner MM?   :-\  You'll have all the boys trying to get in with you.



Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 26, 2007, 04:42:08 PM
Bleah, not really. Think I'm gonna wander off to someplace less icky now.... Somebody start a new sex thread, huh? This one is tainted!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 26, 2007, 04:57:20 PM
Bleah, not really. Think I'm gonna wander off to someplace less icky now.... Somebody start a new sex thread, huh? This one is tainted!

even I agree MM!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 26, 2007, 05:31:15 PM
even I agree MM!

now won't that get some of the "holier than us" posters up in arms when they see a thread named "The New Sex".... ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 26, 2007, 06:19:49 PM
now won't that get some of the "holier than us" posters up in arms when they see a thread named "The New Sex".... ;) ;) ;)

"The New Sex" is not allowed unless you show transexuals, furries, or ADBL. HAAH
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 26, 2007, 06:31:20 PM
"The New Sex" is not allowed unless you show transexuals, furries, or ADBL. HAAH

Ok, m0x... you just stay here... we'll get back to you on that...

 :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on October 26, 2007, 11:22:47 PM
wonder why this topic doesn't use that "sticky" quote avatar thingy  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Dime Store Cowboy on October 27, 2007, 12:09:15 AM
Sex ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 27, 2007, 06:01:56 AM
Sex ???
Hmph.  You must be married too, Cowboy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 27, 2007, 01:52:40 PM
Nice to see that sex is still around...... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 27, 2007, 01:55:27 PM
Nice to see that sex is still around...... :P

Joe, it's not only still alive...  it's doing VERY WELL ;) ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 28, 2007, 11:27:41 AM
I don't think we've discussed frequency yet.  Is anybody doin it more than once a week ??? ???  (and I'm not talkin DIY either  ;))

I just did it three times while typing this response!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 28, 2007, 02:29:25 PM
I just did it three times while typing this response!


i see you have that one handed typing down pretty well mox lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 28, 2007, 03:15:03 PM

i see you have that one handed typing down pretty well mox lol

I use my nose. :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 28, 2007, 03:37:12 PM
You use your nose to type?

Or do you use your nose to perform the other activity?
Hard to picture that.  If so, exactly how does that work?
I'm always willing to learn new things. :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 28, 2007, 03:39:01 PM
You use your nose to type?

Or do you use your nose to perform the other activity?
Hard to picture that.  If so, exactly how does that work?
I'm always willing to learn new things. :D

Well, I HAVE been doing yoga and pilates for over a year now. I actually probably could use my nose, if the nostril was a bit bigger :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 28, 2007, 03:43:09 PM
Ah, so you use your nose to type.  Bummer.

Eh, I'm not that flexible anyway.  Close, but not quite.   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on October 28, 2007, 03:45:46 PM
Well, I HAVE been doing yoga and pilates for over a year now. I actually probably could use my nose, if the nostril was a bit bigger :)


keep trying.....pretty soon you shouldnt need a girlfriend.  Then you wont have to worry....access any time you want!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on October 28, 2007, 03:47:20 PM

keep trying.....pretty soon you shouldnt need a girlfriend.  Then you wont have to worry....access any time you want!

You'd be surprised at how much you could benefit from my "talents."  8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 28, 2007, 08:24:57 PM
I don't think we've discussed frequency yet.  Is anybody doin it more than once a week ??? ???  (and I'm not talkin DIY either  ;))

Well it varies depending on how amorous my wife feels but lately I’ve been lucky for the past five days.

It’s feast or famine for the most part but after 22 years of marriage I’ve noticed she has a policy of making sure I’ve had all I can handle before I leave the house to shoot pool.

I prefer to let her initiate but she has never turned me down (sometimes she is slow to warm up to the idea)

She will not allow quickies, the Sexercise lovemaking usually lasts well over an hour and sometimes two (She’s admitted to prolonging the sessions to make sure the quality time lasts longer)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 28, 2007, 08:30:02 PM
Well it varies depending on how amorous my wife feels but lately I’ve been lucky for the past five days.

It’s feast or famine for the most part but after 22 years of marriage I’ve noticed she has a policy of making sure I’ve had all I can handle before I leave the house to shoot pool.

I prefer to let her initiate but she has never turned me down (sometimes she is slow to warm up to the idea)

She will not allow quickies, the Sexercise lovemaking usually lasts well over an hour and sometimes two (She’s admitted to prolonging the sessions to make sure the quality time last longer)


Awesome!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 28, 2007, 08:36:27 PM
Well it varies depending on how amorous my wife feels but lately I’ve been lucky for the past five days.

It’s feast or famine for the most part but after 22 years of marriage I’ve noticed she has a policy of making sure I’ve had all I can handle before I leave the house to shoot pool.

I prefer to let her initiate but she has never turned me down (sometimes she is slow to warm up to the idea)

She will not allow quickies, the Sexercise lovemaking usually lasts well over an hour and sometimes two (She’s admitted to prolonging the sessions to make sure the quality time last longer)

You're really lucky, dude.  And you're married!
I just don't get it.  No, really - I just don't get IT.  Period.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 28, 2007, 08:50:23 PM
Well it varies depending on how amorous my wife feels but lately I’ve been lucky for the past five days.

It’s feast or famine for the most part but after 22 years of marriage I’ve noticed she has a policy of making sure I’ve had all I can handle before I leave the house to shoot pool.

I prefer to let her initiate but she has never turned me down (sometimes she is slow to warm up to the idea)

She will not allow quickies, the Sexercise lovemaking usually lasts well over an hour and sometimes two (She’s admitted to prolonging the sessions to make sure the quality time lasts longer)


I want some of whatever you're smokin!  They can't even go for an hour in the movies, and I think they're cuttin the action every minute or two :)  Is there a sandwich and cold one involved somewhere in that hour  ??? ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 28, 2007, 09:00:53 PM
Okay so I read till like page 20...... good lord have mercy... I read some got chewed out.... some were having birthdays during this thread(Happy b/day MRS BRD)
I thought before I look like the neighborhood perv logged in for an hour and only read ONE THREAD.... dear lord just post already. but when the first post in the thread is SEX...... what you wanna know??

SEX.... married more than half my life(almost) it's good dang well better be, he's married to an expert. LMAO I did make it to the expert page. Yeah I'm so not an expert. If I was I'd be getting paid bwhahahahahahha well I am a sahm maybe that is why he doesn't MAKE me get a JOB!  doubt it.
I'm sure the day I graduate he will write  my resume for me;).

Hmmmmm so I can't imagine a healthy marriage w/2 healthy partners having a thriving relationship w/out sex. It's really important I think.

My boyfriend thinks so too.

yeah right no bf's here. Can ya imagine?? who has the time for that mess......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 28, 2007, 09:01:27 PM
before someone asks sahm=stay at home mom
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 28, 2007, 09:03:28 PM
Well it varies depending on how amorous my wife feels but lately I’ve been lucky for the past five days.

It’s feast or famine for the most part but after 22 years of marriage I’ve noticed she has a policy of making sure I’ve had all I can handle before I leave the house to shoot pool.

I prefer to let her initiate but she has never turned me down (sometimes she is slow to warm up to the idea)

She will not allow quickies, the Sexercise lovemaking usually lasts well over an hour and sometimes two (She’s admitted to prolonging the sessions to make sure the quality time lasts longer)


OMG, you have GOT to tell the other guys how you do it.  I mean, this is so UNBELELIEVABLY AWESOME!   
Awesome
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 28, 2007, 09:11:10 PM
Don't tell me OR my husband how to take 2 hours to do it. PLEASE. LOL
2 hours I'll be dead or he will have a hypo and then what? MOOD KILLER! LMAO

so give me a nice 30/45 minutes and we're good. And I'm all about a quickie to shut him the heck up bwhahahahahah;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 28, 2007, 09:15:10 PM
OMG, you have GOT to tell the other guys how you do it.  I mean, this is so UNBELELIEVABLY AWESOME!   
Awesome


MM1 - Are you saying you've had some experience with these marathons too  ??? ???  I thought FF was kidding :D.  The last time I had anything that remotely approached this was when I was a youngster and tried to go 3 times in about an hour.  It damn near killed me then, and I'm pretty sure it WOULD kill me now. lol.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 28, 2007, 09:18:39 PM
DundeeDad you are NOT alone. LOL

The last time it was a Marathon was about 20 years ago for me......I'm so into getting it right and getting it done and going to sleep;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 28, 2007, 09:28:23 PM
Ohhhh.    FF's was just a big joke?     Aw   :D  Then not awesome.  Funny!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 28, 2007, 09:42:07 PM
some were having birthdays during this thread(Happy b/day MRS BRD)

Mrs. BRD thanks you Pleasantville...    we just came from her "family party"...   all 3 kids and their boyfriend, girlfriend and fiance...   and all their dogs too...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 28, 2007, 09:48:55 PM
That is so nice dawg I sure hope she comes  along and gets drunk with me in about 4 months. Think she will?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 28, 2007, 09:57:01 PM
That is so nice dawg I sure hope she comes  along and gets drunk with me in about 4 months. Think she will?

Oh I don't know...   she's gotten pretty wise over the years.  

We were having the best fun today teasing oldest daughter (27)...    

Her and her fiance' had an "all night" bachelor/bachelorette party last night...

Oldest daughter was the last one to get to the party and the first one to leave...

Maybe she'll be ready to go again by then ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 28, 2007, 09:59:13 PM

especially when the gals weren’t interested in each other.


oh man ff...   don't you just hate it when that happens ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 28, 2007, 10:16:31 PM
DundeeDad you are NOT alone. LOL

The last time it was a Marathon was about 20 years ago for me......I'm so into getting it right and getting it done and going to sleep;)

I hear ya there Pleasantville.  Time for bed.  Sweet dreams!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on October 29, 2007, 12:00:23 AM
I have been told that somewhere about an hour down the road from me there is an old warehouse typ place that is set up similar to this place you have talked about.  It is for couples only and you have to have a special invite.  I am told - there are rooms you just browse through and if you feel like participating - you do.  If not you move on.  Once inside the couple does not have to stay together.  I guess it has been shut down a few times but the location keeps moving.
I heard it was in Trenton.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: www.BarackObama.com on October 29, 2007, 01:52:22 AM
I heard it was in Trenton.

Actually it's in Wyandotte...

Errr... I hear...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on October 29, 2007, 02:06:54 AM
Actually it's in Wyandotte...

Errr... I hear...
Aha, do tell oh innocent one ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 29, 2007, 10:30:17 AM
Sometimes she takes as long as two hours but the norm is closer to an hour and a half…..I don’t time it but I do make a mental note of the time.



Don't you guys have kids?? How do you get so much time?!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 29, 2007, 10:45:00 AM
Don't you guys have kids?? How do you get so much time?!

The kids have always been mood wreckers and many times are the cause of the famine periods so we end up with after midnight stuff when they’re sleeping.

I’ve insulated everything very well so we can’t hear their thumping music and they can’t hear us.

I’m thinking of having our master bedroom isolated in our next house if I ever get around to building it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 29, 2007, 11:33:42 AM
The kids have always been mood wreckers and many times are the cause of the famine periods so we end up with after midnight stuff when they’re sleeping.

I’ve insulated everything very well so we can’t hear their thumping music and they can’t hear us.

I’m thinking of having our master bedroom isolated in our next house if I ever get around to building it.


I figured I'd come back over her to something I know about after I just got scolded in the sports section  >:(, but ff, you're just not speaking my language.  If my wife ever finds out about this stuff I'll never live up to expectations!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on October 29, 2007, 10:49:17 PM
before someone asks sahm=stay at home mom

I think that one was pointed at me PV!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2007, 06:30:17 AM
I should clarify that I’m not gods gift to women, it’s just that I’ll do whatever it takes to make my lady happy and then my happiness comes at the end.

Okay maybe a poor choice of words but I’m sure you know what I mean.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:38:05 AM
and a very Happy, Happy Halloween to you ff ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 31, 2007, 11:26:56 AM
and a very Happy, Happy Halloween to you ff ;) ;)

My guess is that the porch light is not on at the ff residence tonight.  No time to pass out candy if you know what I mean  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 31, 2007, 03:32:16 PM
Not after last year.  All the kids who got candy from him experience what is known as "sticky wrapper".

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: danshaw on October 31, 2007, 04:00:58 PM
After several days of fielding complaints about this thread, a half-dozen posts were deleted today. It was determined that they violated the Terms of Service of MonroeTalks.com, which require users to stay within community standards of decency.

It's clearly difficult to decide what is offensive to the Monroe County community and what isn't. For the most part, I've been impressed with how well users of MonroeTalks.com stay within those boundaries, even when discussing challenging issues like "sex," the topic of this thread.

It seems to me that human sexuality is an appropriate topic for a discussion forum. It plays a significant role in most of our lives, and if people want to talk openly about it - as they clearly do, based on this forum topic - that's what MonroeTalks is for.

A few posters couldn't resist the temptation to get into language and topics that most people could agree crossed the line of community decency standards. Those are the posts that were deleted.

In general, forum users do a good job moderating the "Your Talk" discussions themselves. They're your forums, and by using them responsibly, you increase their value to yourself and to the community.

I'd like to thank the hundreds of people who make these forums so interesting. We didn't know what to expect when we launched MonroeTalks.com, and we've been pleasantly surprised by how vibrant and dynamic the discussion has been.

Keep talking, but please, also keep it decent.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on October 31, 2007, 04:12:00 PM
You can get an idea about how people are by what comes out of their mouths(in this case their keyboard).
Even when you are anonymous, people get a good idea of where you are coming from just by your output.
I'm glad the repugnant comments were deleted.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2007, 04:23:14 PM
While there was difficulty deciding what was offensive, How do we know what is permissible or tolerable?

Maybe just X the words that violated the terms so we could figure out what not to do again.

I’ve been told in the past that basically I crossed the line but had you included what was deleted, I would have known what you find objectionable.

Am I the offender again and should I expect another email?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 31, 2007, 06:22:47 PM
Ok, so which posts were deleted? I can only see one, the extraordinarily icky graphic "belly" one, but I can't tell which others. None of mine that I know of (thank goodness!)...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 31, 2007, 06:24:56 PM
yea...all this sex talk was making me sick too...im really glad that nasty stuff was taken off.  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 31, 2007, 06:39:31 PM
Maybe a good rule of thumb is to think of this:

By the terms of the forum, you only have to be 13 years old to participate.  Has everything you've posted been something you are willing to include a 13 year old in?  (ACTUAL 13 year olds.  Not adults who act like 13 year olds)

That makes it pretty simple.  Just think of that.  13 years old.  You're always including a 13 year old in your conversation.

There are other forums where you have to be 18 and you can conduct your business any way you like. 

That should help anyone who doesn't know how far to take things.  I really don't know what is so hard to understand.  Instead of anyone reacting in defense, just hear what Dan Shaw said.  There should certainly be nothing to get upset about. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 31, 2007, 06:43:14 PM
thank you for your worldly words of wisdom MM1!!

im sure most of us never knew any of that!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MM1 on October 31, 2007, 06:46:59 PM
You're very welcome!   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 31, 2007, 07:31:28 PM
jeepers mr wilson......there's a narc among us.  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 31, 2007, 07:33:03 PM
ok you all be good in here...im off th play some jacks...then a little hopscotch!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2007, 08:16:30 PM
Why would parents allow their teens to view a topic labeled “sex” if it was a concern?

By the age of 13, they should know the rules that parents have set for them

Relying on the TOS to prevent teens from viewing unacceptable material is very stupid parenting.

I like the way craigslist has a warning & disclaimer page prior to allowing entry into the rants and raves category but something similar could be set up to restrict certain topics (As an option for the topic writer would be nice)
http://detroit.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/personals.cgi?category=rnr

craigslist > rants and raves > warning & disclaimer

Unless all of the following points are true, please use your "back" button to exit this part of craigslist:
1. I am at least 18 years old.
2. I understand "rants and raves" may include offensive content.
3. I agree to flag as "prohibited" anything illegal or which otherwise violates the craigslist terms of use.
4. By clicking on the links below, I release craigslist from any liability that may arise from my use of this site.



Of course just changing the TOS to 18 and over may be sufficient to stop the complaints.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 31, 2007, 08:17:56 PM
jeepers mr wilson......there's a narc among us.  :D

Hmmm, wonder who that coulda been??  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 31, 2007, 08:24:35 PM
Why would parents allow their teens to view a topic labeled “sex” if it was a concern?

By the age of 13, they should know the rules that parents have set for them

Relying on the TOS to prevent teens from viewing unacceptable material is very stupid parenting.

That's pretty much what I was thinking. If you're so concerned about your young teen venturing into someplace unseemly, then you shouldn't be allowing your kid to surf without your direct supervision. Young teens especially should not be unsupervised on the Internet--they are prey for sickos!!

This thread's title should be enough to keep supervised teens out of here and we adults can have a frank discussion about sexuality. I agree that some went too far on here, but for the most part, it has been good clean-ish fun.

Anyone who is threatened, disgusted, or otherwise offended by SEX should perhaps stay out of this thread.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 31, 2007, 08:44:18 PM
Anyone who is threatened, disgusted, or otherwise offended by SEX should perhaps stay out of this thread.

you know what they say about those people............I can't post it here, it may be too suggestive, but I can give you the initials!!
TAGA lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 31, 2007, 08:47:36 PM
now now...remember children!!!! mother has spoken!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 31, 2007, 08:55:27 PM
That's pretty much what I was thinking. If you're so concerned about your young teen venturing into someplace unseemly, then you shouldn't be allowing your kid to surf without your direct supervision. Young teens especially should not be unsupervised on the Internet--they are prey for sickos!!

This thread's title should be enough to keep supervised teens out of here and we adults can have a frank discussion about sexuality. I agree that some went too far on here, but for the most part, it has been good clean-ish fun.

Anyone who is threatened, disgusted, or otherwise offended by SEX should perhaps stay out of this thread.

Well said!!............There was nothing that was said  here that made my daughter's eyes bleed when she read the thread.........she was actually keeping me up to speed while I was busy.......LOL.....yeah I know.....what a rotton mother I am. (where's the little "bird" smiley when you need him)

This is pretty mild compared to what the 13 year olds actually talk about when they think we are not listening.........ha ha ha  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 08:55:53 PM
Hmmm, wonder who that coulda been??  *:)

I've been out on the road since just about 4pm when this "bombshell" popped...  

I'm more than a little surprised and disappointed.  I haven't even gone to look and see if I can even figure out if I'm in the "censored" list...   not sure if I will go to the effort to figure it out...  

I did check my email and I don't have any about it...  

I do believe the MEN should consider an explaination with a little more "detail" even if it has to be via email in order to protect little eyes....

CENSORSHIP in any sense bothers me immensely.    

I recently posted in the "censorship" thread that I thought the only case for censorship was to protect children...   and by that I met "young children"...  

as stated in terms of service require users to be 13 yrs old minimum.  

They are handing out birth control to 11 year olds in Massachusetts (sp?, I'm too upset to check right now)...  there must be some reason...   apparently 11 yrs olds are physically (I know not emotionally) capable of having SEX...  

While that might not be very pleasant, it is just another fact of life.  Do I think 13 year olds should be having sex...  no, I certainly do not.  

Are some 13 year olds in Monroe Michigan having sex...  I don't doubt it for one minute...   but I sure don't think that anything I've seen in the sex thread in the last couple of weeks did anything to contribute to that happening.  

Probably the 13 yr olds that are on here reading about sex aren't the ones that are out there gettin' it on...  

I will say this to the "complainer" or"complainers"...  

you really should be spending the time and effort which you took to complain and sitting down and having a frank discussion with your under 13 year olds about the realities of SEX...   I don't doubt at this point that your kids probably have had a lot more exposure to sex than you want to admit.  What YOU need to do is take this as a wakeup call...  

unless you intend to stand beside them and hold their hands until they are 18-19-20-21 yrs old.  The problem is not with what was posted here, the problem is with parents who don't talk about sex with their children.  

Sex has  been going on for a long time...   and it's not about to stop because someone in Monroe doesn't like it.  

In summary, I feel sorry for your children.  I would also like to feel sorry for you because you also must be missing something...   right now that is not going to happen...   maybe later...

There, my 2nd rant in 2 weeks...  

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 31, 2007, 09:05:24 PM
And a "Well Said" for you too Big Dawg and ff as well.....I would throw in my 2 cents...but everyone else has beat me to it and had done a fine job....couldn't have said it better myself.  ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 31, 2007, 09:11:18 PM
Well, hello flo !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 31, 2007, 09:11:45 PM
And a "Well Said" for you too Big Dawg and ff as well.....I would throw in my 2 cents...but everyone else has beat me to it and had done a fine job....couldn't have said it better myself.  ;D


One of my posts was stricken from the record, but I didn't get an e-mail about it.  From a well respected citizen to being censored on a public forum.  Man, I've hit a new low.... :-[
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 31, 2007, 09:13:59 PM
One of my posts was stricken from the record, but I didn't get an e-mail about it.  From a well respected citizen to being censored on a public forum.  Man, I've hit a new low.... :-[

I bet it makes you feel all "dirty " doesn't it?..............LMAOOOOOOO  ;D :D

Sorry I'm on a major sugar rush right now......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 31, 2007, 09:19:12 PM
I probably should be spanked.  lol.

Oh NO........you are going to be in trouble again............LOL

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 31, 2007, 09:19:29 PM
My kids are now adults. If I remember right, my kids at that age would not have been on MT at all, they would have been gaming, or IM'ing with their friends. They were not interested in forums like this, unless all their friends were hanging out and posting there.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 31, 2007, 09:20:49 PM
Oh and good rant BRD!!   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 09:21:23 PM
I probably should be spanked.  lol.

well DundeeDad...  normally I would suggest we get MonroeMom and her bullwhip

(I suggested she convert to a cat o 9 tails, but I haven't heard if she's been toy shoppin' or not) to take you out behind the woodshed and "punish" you...  

but I'm not sure if it meets the terms of service to say that or not ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on October 31, 2007, 09:22:01 PM
My kids are now adults. If I remember right, my kids at that age would not have been on MT at all, they would have been gaming, or IM'ing with their friends. They were not interested in forums like this, unless all their friends were hanging out and posting there.

Same here river...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 31, 2007, 09:31:38 PM
well DundeeDad...  normally I would suggest we get MonroeMom and her bullwhip

(I suggested she convert to a cat o 9 tails, but I haven't heard if she's been toy shoppin' or not) to take you out behind the woodshed and "punish" you...  

but I'm not sure if it meets the terms of service to say that or not ;) ;) ;)

Probably best not to get off on that topic.  That's what got me busted.  I didn't bring it up, but I did respond to the person who did.  Come to think of it, some people make a living selling that stuff, so if I'm indecent talking about it, what does that say about them????
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2007, 09:32:56 PM
Well Normal Joe said “I'm glad the repugnant comments were deleted” so I guess he may have complained but he started the topic.

MM1 started with her attitude in reply #219, 221 and 227 on page #15 & 16 but requested that I tell the other guys how to make the lovemaking session last in reply #448 on page #30 yet she obviously thought the censorship was justified in reply #475 on page #32.

I would have added the morality queen MomEm to the suspect list but I have no evidence to support my theory…..Just a suspicion.

How bad was the stuff that was removed?

I’ve been emailed that something was removed before but I’ve never been able to figure out what they were. (They could utilize the personal message system instead of the email)

The censorship seems so arbitrary that I thought the one complaining “mom” may be a spouse of Dan.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 31, 2007, 09:36:59 PM
Perhaps MEN should have censored themselves from publishing picture on front of sports page of SMCC volleyball players backsides a couple of days ago.  Better suited doing that than trolling for possible inappropriate material.  
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on October 31, 2007, 09:39:44 PM
you know what is funny? Even trying to kill this thread, it is still getting more responses than any other! lol  If you look at most recent posts, it's always there. So, anyone who looks at the most recent posts, they are going to see sex is alive and well. lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 09:43:28 PM
Perhaps MEN should have censored themselves from publishing picture on front of sports page of SMCC volleyball players backsides a couple of days ago.  Better suited doing that than trolling for possible inappropriate material.  

Oh Eric...   you must have missed the whole thread on that...   search "cheek to cheek'...

my wife picked up the paper tonight, looked at the sports page photo of the girls from Jefferson and Erie Mason volleyball...   she asked, "is it just me or are the volleyball shorts getting shorter and tighter"...   I busted out laughing...  told her she needs to get on here and start posting...   not sure if that would be a good idea or not though ;) :D ;) :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 31, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
([url]http://aycu14.webshots.com/image/29653/2000046561306588777_rs.jpg[/url])
So, ff, is this a silouhette of your wife?  I can picture her sitting in that pose while you carve out the pumpkin!  That probably took you two hours, too, huh.   :D

Nice melons.  Oh, wait, can I say that?  Cripes sake, I'll get sent to the corner again.  I'm shocked the censor police didn't delete this picture.

I just came home from going trick or treating with my kids, and I don't recall seeing any pumpkins that look like THAT.  Wish I did! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 09:51:15 PM
I've suggested more than a few times that my 17 yr old daughter get on here and gain some local social exposure...   she's not interested...  too busy with her myspace page I guess...  

I would not be nervous at all that she would gain any new "bad ideas" from anything that's been on here...

well, maybe, back when we were talking about driving and talking on cell phones....   multitasking at it's worst I say :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on October 31, 2007, 09:58:04 PM
So, ff, is this a silouhette of your wife?  I can picture her sitting in that pose while you carve out the pumpkin!  That probably took you two hours, too, huh.   :D

Nice melons.  Oh, wait, can I say that?  Cripes sake, I'll get sent to the corner again.  I'm shocked the censor police didn't delete this picture.

I just came home from going trick or treating with my kids, and I don't recall seeing any pumpkins that look like THAT.  Wish I did! ;D ;D

Lol. Livewire....Your sense of humor is alive and well my friend. :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Johnson35 on October 31, 2007, 10:02:11 PM
Oh Eric...   you must have missed the whole thread on that...   search "cheek to cheek'...

my wife picked up the paper tonight, looked at the sports page photo of the girls from Jefferson and Erie Mason volleyball...   she asked, "is it just me or are the volleyball shorts getting shorter and tighter"...   I busted out laughing...  told her she needs to get on here and start posting...   not sure if that would be a good idea or not though ;) :D ;) :D

I saw it and posted to it.  


Didn't see anything posted on this forum that would damage their fragile little minds(Eric Cartman, i.e. young kids).  Everything I have seen on here could be read safely by my eight year old girl and ten year old boy.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:04:31 PM
I saw it and posted to it.  

Oh good Eric...   I've got to get back and see if anyone ever posted anything to support the photo...  looks like it would be a good time to get away from here and go over there....  I'll be back...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2007, 10:07:10 PM
Someone from Newport posted that pumpkin on craigslist so I just shared it

Now back to sex…

My wife put on the jeans that I find the most appealing…..the ones that show the cameltoe  ;)

Well sometimes my posts do come close to crossing the line but its not outright vulgarity.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:09:25 PM
…..the ones that show the cameltoe  ;) 

Nothing wrong there ff...   all camels have 2 toes and 4 feet...  a very common occurance.... ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on October 31, 2007, 10:10:07 PM
I don't even know what to think about all of this.........I am APPALLED, OFFENDED and outright DISGUSTED.......to commit that vile act of lewdness upon an innocent vegetable. WHY??

How am I supposed to look at a pumpkin the same way again?? HOW am I supposed to make pumpkin pie and NOT have it feel dirty and tainted.  :'( :'(

It is going to take YEARS of therapy for me to get over this.......

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:12:33 PM
I saw it and posted to it.  

ahh...  yes you did post...    and I went all the way through and didn't see any posts supporting the photo... 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 31, 2007, 10:13:29 PM
HOW am I supposed to make pumpkin pie and NOT have it feel dirty and tainted.  :'( :'(
Betcha that pie tastes good.....    ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:16:11 PM
HOW am I supposed to make pumpkin pie and NOT have it feel dirty and tainted.  :'( :'(
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOhhhh "Pumpkin Pie"....   now there is a topic....   I'd bring up the "whipped cream" but I'd probably get it censored in 2 or 3 days ;) ;) ;)    MonroeMom....   bullwhip or cat O 9 tails??   ;) ;) ;)


btw, are we going to get a recipe thread going or not....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 31, 2007, 10:20:38 PM
btw, are we going to get a recipe thread going or not....
Sounds good to me, as long as you don't include your whipped cream, BRD! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:24:49 PM
Betcha that pie tastes good.....    ;D

any chance I can get an "extra piece"....    I like mine with "ice cream' too :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 31, 2007, 10:40:21 PM
any chance I can get an "extra piece"....    I like it with "ice cream' too :D :D
OOooo.....  Big Dog likes his piece ala mode!  LMHAO

Yeah, don't worry Dog, I'll save you a piece!  I'll bet it tastes sweet!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 31, 2007, 10:41:54 PM
... but requested that I tell the other guys how to make the lovemaking session last ...

I could be mistaken, but I think that was an attempt at sarcasm...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on October 31, 2007, 10:46:38 PM
 MonroeMom....   bullwhip or cat O 9 tails??   ;) ;) ;)

I choose the one made of velvet and satin... I'm not into pain!! Yeowch!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 31, 2007, 10:47:05 PM
I just came home from going trick or treating with my kids, and I don't recall seeing any pumpkins that look like THAT.  Wish I did! ;D ;D

Actually livewire....    

without actually seeing a better description of what criteria got these several posts CENSORED ...  

I'm not too sure you should be using the words "trick" and "treat" in the same sentence...  

maybe even in the same post...  
especially in a "sex" thread...  

trick, treat??

I mean you can see where some 14 year old is going to go with that one....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on October 31, 2007, 11:04:06 PM
rut ro........
what's being censored.
I really need to curb my posts..... I tend to put too much information out there. :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 12:53:15 AM
Well, it appears that SEX is alive and well in Monroe Michigan...

with this latest little "blitz"  (as far as I know that word has no sexual meaning)...

(and strangely enough due to the very posters who seem opposed to the subject)

not even counting the censored posts this thread is closing fast on the number one topic (for total replies) of "High School Football"...  

but I suppose sex has been around longer than football maybe... 

(less than 100 replies to go to move it into first, so, lets get those fingers busy (can I say that??) and the keyboards flying....

AND...  

sex is only about 200 "views" short of the "Ask A Monroe County Atheist" topic for 10th place...   

c'mon, even some of the "religious posters" should be welling to get sex ahead of atheism...

and I wonder if "sex" will ever be as popular as "high school football".... 

of course, football season is almost over, and sex...

well I guess it's just "in season" all the time...

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on November 01, 2007, 01:00:18 AM
I like big butts and I cannot lie
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 01:01:18 AM
I like big butts and I cannot lie

did you comment over on the "cheek to cheek" thread mOx??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on November 01, 2007, 06:28:49 AM
you all have been busy last night i see!!!

just grin and bare it...is all i can say!!

you certainly are a disgusting bunch!!! sex of all things!!! evil!! sinister even!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2007, 09:18:00 AM
Well it went right over my head if that mm1 request really was sarcasm

I actually thought there was interest there which is why I continued.

Last night I fell asleep while my wife was in the bathroom getting ready for bed but she was slick by spooning with me nude which of course didn’t take long to “wake” me up.

Start to finish was only 45 minutes so I had to comment on it being much shorter than normal and she said she didn’t “hold out” that time.

So now you know that normal for us should be 45 minutes…..What is normal for everybody else?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 09:40:35 AM
Well, that depends on what we're talking about. Let's not get too "indecent" with our details, lest we be slapped on our virtual wrists, but do you mean from first kiss to "g'night" or full engagement?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 09:44:25 AM
Well it went right over my head if that mm1 request really was sarcasm

I actually thought there was interest there which is why I continued.

I didn't say it was good or effective sarcasm!! lol! And there was actually interest, but I don't think it was from *her*!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2007, 10:17:21 AM
Well that 45 minutes was from the time I initiated foreplay to the last person to achieve an orgasm….the blissful period afterwards was not included, only the getting busy part   ;)

So perhaps we should just count the getting busy time  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 01, 2007, 10:20:22 AM
The sex forum has set another record here... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on November 01, 2007, 11:06:18 AM
I didn't say it was good or effective sarcasm!! lol! And there was actually interest, but I don't think it was from *her*!!  :D
lol...lol...lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 01, 2007, 11:10:16 AM
Well that 45 minutes was from the time I initiated foreplay to the last person to achieve an orgasm….the blissful period afterwards was not included, only the getting busy part   ;)

So perhaps we should just count the getting busy time  :)

Let's just say that you wouldn't need a sun dial to measure our encounters. lol..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 11:20:00 AM
I checked with Handsome on the average time... He rolled his eyes and asked me if I was going to post that information... LOL!! (He's a bit less outgoing than I am!) But we agree that about 30 minutes is average, from first gettin' serious to the big happy sigh of contentment!  :D 

Honestly, I can't even imagine 2 hours!! All I can think is FRICTION BURNS!!  :o :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2007, 11:41:14 AM
DundeeDad,
I thought the length of time of our encounters would be closely related to reply #433 in which you wanted to discuss frequency so perhaps you could narrow it down a little


MonroeMom,
We have experienced that result of occasionally over doing it as well.
You see, my wife is in the driver’s seat so to speak
If she decides to prolong the event then her wish is my command.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on November 01, 2007, 12:19:45 PM
2 hours, that was back when things were so hot that you couldn't stay away. You know before marriage ;). Now 30-45 minutes. There are ways to take care of friction :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 01, 2007, 12:51:18 PM
Boy I missed a lot here...
Well Dan Shaw is right and it is their forum...
You see the thing I noticed last week when this topic was on fire as it seems to be again was that it is ON THE FRONT PAGE of Monroenews.com and I was laughing my butt off hitting refresh watching your posts scroll up there.
Now if I was a 13 year old boy and saw that I am definitely clicking on it to see what is up in there..
I hate to say it, but I actually agree with Dan and NO I am not married to him either!

I wouldn't want my 13 year old scrolling through this thread!  FF you do like to push all limits don't you?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on November 01, 2007, 12:52:11 PM
SICK!!!! SICK!!!!!! YOU ALL ARE JUST SICK!!!!!!

I WONDER WHAT "SHE" THINKS OF ALL THIS!!!!!!


I JUST CANT TAKE IT NO MORE!!!! IM GOING OUT TO JUMP SOME ROPE WITH THE REST OF THE 13 YEAR OLDS!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 01:05:33 PM
Well Dan Shaw is right and it is their forum...
You see the thing I noticed last week when this topic was on fire as it seems to be again was that it is ON THE FRONT PAGE of Monroenews.com and I was laughing my butt off hitting refresh watching your posts scroll up there.
Now if I was a 13 year old boy and saw that I am definitely clicking on it to see what is up in there..
I hate to say it, but I actually agree with Dan and NO I am not married to him either!
I wouldn't want my 13 year old scrolling through this thread! 

Sorry Farmer Ted...   I have to "respectfully disagree" with this one...

I'd guess there are a lot more 13 yr old boys that are logging onto Playboy.com or FHM.com or one of the literally other thousands (porn takes up moe space on the www than any other subject) of websites they can access...  

Somehow, I don't see too many 13 yr olds online reading the MEN webpage.  I'm not saying it can't happen...   but again, parents are ultimately responsible for where their teens surf too....  

and what do you think they're doing when they're all over at their buddies house...  By 13, boys are aware of "sex"...  rather than trying to hide it, parents might better use the relatively "mild" (yes, even ff's show only some extremes, but not impossible situartions)  posts of this forum to get in some good discussion with the teens...

We can hide it all we want, SEX is not going away anytime soon...  at least not in Monroe Michigan ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 01:55:03 PM
I JUST CANT TAKE IT NO MORE!!!! IM GOING OUT TO JUMP SOME ROPE WITH THE REST OF THE 13 YEAR OLDS!!!

It certainly does feel like a playground here sometimes, with all the playground politics some people play!!  *:) :P

I bet any self respecting 13 year old would have their eyes rolled far back in their head within seconds of starting to read our posts, and like Dawg said, be off to places far more interesting and explicit. Who wants to hear their parents talk about sex?! That's essentially what this thread is... a bunch of old fogeys talking about their old fogey sex lives.  :D Teenagers want PICTURES! Words BAD, photos GOOD!! So as long as no one posts dirty pics, we should be cool!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on November 01, 2007, 02:05:12 PM
at 13 i was snappin bra straps in school!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 02:07:41 PM
at 13 i was snappin bra straps in school!

I think today that's considered sexual "haressment".... 

note, I spell it differently than most...   

seems on this thread we don't dare talke anything about "her ***"... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on November 01, 2007, 02:23:46 PM
I think today that's considered sexual "haressment".... 

note, I spell it differently than most...   

seems on this thread we don't dare talke anything about "her ***"... ;)


fun is against the law now...or at least politically incorrect!!  *:) *:) *:) *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 02:25:41 PM

fun is against the law now...or at least politically incorrect!!  *:) *:) *:) *:)

I sure can't argue with you on that one...  Maybe it's time we started the pendulam the other direction ;) ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 01, 2007, 03:04:06 PM
It certainly does feel like a playground here sometimes, with all the playground politics some people play!!  *:) :P

I bet any self respecting 13 year old would have their eyes rolled far back in their head within seconds of starting to read our posts, and like Dawg said, be off to places far more interesting and explicit. Who wants to hear their parents talk about sex?! That's essentially what this thread is... a bunch of old fogeys talking about their old fogey sex lives.  :D Teenagers want PICTURES! Words BAD, photos GOOD!! So as long as no one posts dirty pics, we should be cool!

I reckon you're right about that one MM.  Any teen looking for smut will not waste tiime here, that's for sure.

I can see where a decency standard should be maintained, but IMO there were not a half dozen posts that crossed the line.  That's the thing tho, my opinion doesn't mean squat.  It's not my game, I'm just playin in it....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on November 01, 2007, 03:11:25 PM
I sure can't argue with you on that one...  Maybe it's time we started the pendulam the other direction ;) ;) ;) ;)

Careful with that "p" word, they might hang you for witchcraft!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on November 01, 2007, 04:27:55 PM
I think today that's considered sexual "haressment".... 

note, I spell it differently than most...   

seems on this thread we don't dare talke anything about "her ***"... ;)

Ain't it the truth, Dawg, ain't it the truth !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 01, 2007, 08:36:28 PM
Ok.. that's enough of that, back to sex.

Do you sing during sex?

How about: Herman's Hermits - "Something Tells Me I'm Into Something Good"

or  Peter Frampton's - "I'm In You"  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 08:39:30 PM
Do you sing during sex?

Ummmm.... not sure I'd call it "singing."  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend on November 01, 2007, 08:40:19 PM
I thought you were supposed to sing "after the lovin"...........

oh that was bad......lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 08:44:00 PM
Oh, that could be our next topic... Size!

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 01, 2007, 09:06:28 PM
ff looked up at her and said "sock it to me"
"Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me"
She looked down on him
And said "I'll sock it to you daddy"
And you know what he said
He started it all way back then
I ain't gonna lie to you
He said "right on, right on"
Hot pants, hot pants

"Troglodyte"

(As recorded by Jimmy Castor Bunch)
JIMMY CASTOR BUNCH
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 01, 2007, 09:16:50 PM
ff looked up at her and said "sock it to me"
"Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me"
She looked down on him
And said "I'll sock it to you daddy"
And you know what he said
He started it all way back then
I ain't gonna lie to you
He said "right on, right on"
Hot pants, hot pants

"Troglodyte"

(As recorded by Jimmy Castor Bunch)
JIMMY CASTOR BUNCH



what Tiny...you were there? 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 01, 2007, 09:18:45 PM
Got it on tape.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 01, 2007, 09:19:39 PM
Got it on tape.


eeewwwwww
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 01, 2007, 09:21:41 PM
I’m speechless  :o

you ff....speechless.......nah.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 01, 2007, 09:24:04 PM
you ff....speechless.......nah.....

Maybe his mouth is busy elsewhere.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2007, 10:06:47 PM
I’m thrilled other folks voiced their displeasure over the censorship because now Dan knows there are proponents.

The complainers had his ear so he reacted…..Unfortunately nobody knows exactly what crossed the line so it’s hard to learn from the mistakes.

Tailoring the content to the few vocal complainers has opened the door for more complaining so the process will become never-ending.

It’s like feeding a squirrel; they will never leave you alone.

The obvious remedies would be to increase the minimum age or provide a disclaimer.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 01, 2007, 10:16:54 PM
Y'know, ff, I've thought about you more recently than I would've ever thought....  ;)

You had this same issue a few months ago when--I honestly can't remember who started the thread--someone took you to task about your decency online. And I have contributed to that conversation... But now I can fully appreciate what you were railing against, at least in part!  :)

I'm guessing that the decency guidelines for MT really involve how many complaints are received. I am ONLY GUESSING, but I would imagine a regular person would become concerned after receiving about three complaints over the same topic. Some people are really dedicated to complaining!!  :P

In my opinion, in a thread titled Sex..., law of the land says "viewer beware. If you can read, and you are offended by sex, stay the hell out of here!"

Just my opinion....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:02:22 PM
Careful with that "p" word, they might hang you for witchcraft!!!  :D

thanks riversbend,,,   I'll watch that in the future....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:04:08 PM
Ok.. that's enough of that, back to sex.
Do you sing during sex?
How about: Herman's Hermits - "Something Tells Me I'm Into Something Good"

Doesn't everyone sing during the 7th inning stretch :D :D :D :D  I'm sure ff does ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:06:05 PM
Ummmm.... not sure I'd call it "singing."  ;)


Is it more like yodelling then MonroeMom ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:07:47 PM
I’ve heard that Peter Frampton was….well………rather “tiny”  :D

and I've heard the story ff of how a "lady of the evening" asked him who he expected to satisfy with "that"...

and his reply...

ME ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:09:02 PM
Oh, that could be our next topic... Size!

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!

Old saying...

If a "little" does a little good...   a "lot" will do a lot of good ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2007, 11:09:25 PM
Doesn't everyone sing during the 7th inning stretch :D :D :D :D  I'm sure ff does ;) ;) ;)

I’m usually too beat to sing…..Sexercise can be quite a workout

Sometimes I feel my wife is a coach and I’m in training for something
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:10:48 PM
Maybe his mouth is busy elsewhere.

That's ok...  he should still be able to hummmmm ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:13:23 PM
I'm guessing that the decency guidelines for MT really involve how many complaints are received. I am ONLY GUESSING, but I would imagine a regular person would become concerned after receiving about three complaints over the same topic. Some people are really dedicated to complaining!!  :P

In my opinion, in a thread titled Sex..., law of the land says "viewer beware. If you can read, and you are offended by sex, stay the hell out of here!"

Just my opinion....


I agree totally MonroeMom...  If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen... ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:15:05 PM
Sometimes I feel my wife is a coach and I’m in training for something

I think it's either a Marathon or the olympics... :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 01, 2007, 11:37:43 PM
Congratulations on topic posters and VIEWERS...

This SEX thread has just today jumped clear up to 7th place in the "by views" ranking...  

still in 2nd on "by postings" and closing fast on FIRST...

We could be clear up to 3rd in "views" in just a few more days....   and then a long way to beat out high shcool football...

I still don't understand it...   are there that many more viewers of high school football than sex??

Oh, well...   football season is almost over...   sex goes on all winter....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on November 02, 2007, 08:58:26 AM
I tink it's either a Marathon or the olympics... :D :D :D

Maybe the Broad Jump?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 02, 2007, 04:16:55 PM
Now that's funny right there,  I don't care who y'are...

Lord, I apologize and be with the starvin pigmies in New Guniea
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 09, 2007, 08:56:17 AM
Concentration test for men (WARNING ADULT CONTENT)

http://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swf
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on November 09, 2007, 09:07:20 AM
Concentration test for men (WARNING ADULT CONTENT)

[url]http://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swf[/url]


impossible...fry, you rock.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 09, 2007, 10:12:27 AM
Congratulations on topic posters and VIEWERS...

This SEX thread has just today jumped clear up to 7th place in the "by views" ranking...  

still in 2nd on "by postings" and closing fast on FIRST...

We could be clear up to 3rd in "views" in just a few more days....   and then a long way to beat out high shcool football...

I still don't understand it...   are there that many more viewers of high school football than sex??

Oh, well...   football season is almost over...   sex goes on all winter....

Keep the sex going...(sex  thread you dirty old man u...) maybe I'll win a years free gas..is there an award for the longest thread??.....(sex thread)...uh huh...shame on u... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 09, 2007, 10:47:00 AM
Keep the sex going...(sex  thread you dirty old man u...) maybe I'll win a years free gas..is there an award for the longest thread??.....(sex thread)...uh huh...shame on u... :P

Oh, I'm sure there will be an "award" for you Normal Joe...   but it'll probably be your name on the "wall of shame" over at the Monroe Morality Police headquaters.... ;D ;D ;D

Let's put it this way.....    I wouldn't go out and buy a new big SUV thinking your going to get a gas card  :( :( :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on November 09, 2007, 11:57:21 AM
Maybe the Broad Jump?


OMG!!!  I'm at work and laughing so hard I almost fell out'a my chair!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 09, 2007, 12:01:40 PM

OMG!!!  I'm at work and laughing so hard I almost fell out'a my chair!!!

you need to be very careful what you open at work 4x4mom....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 09, 2007, 12:12:46 PM
Sure is a lot of wisdom in here...should I take notes??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 09, 2007, 12:18:05 PM
Oh, I'm sure there will be an "award" for you Normal Joe...   but it'll probably be your name on the "wall of shame" over at the Monroe Morality Police headquaters.... ;D ;D ;D

Let's put it this way.....    I wouldn't go out and buy a new big SUV thinking your going to get a gas card  :( :( :(

It is nice to know that the police have morality...why don't they keep that on the wall?? I don't spend as much time there as you do or I'd ask them myself :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 13, 2007, 10:08:32 PM
OMG!

This thread almost hit the third page, so I thought I would bump it up a little.

Don't want it becoming like a marriage, with no sex at all!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 13, 2007, 10:30:46 PM
Ok...    livevewire...   you bump....  I'll thump ;) ;)

I've been keeping an eye on the thread and quite a few others have too...    It has moved up solidly into 5th place on the "views per thread" list...   
currently at 3631 view
only needs about 50 more to move into 4th...
only needs less than 300 to move into 3rd....

then it's got to get another 1000 to get to 2nd place  (which is where it is on the "posts" per thread ranking"....

And after 2nd it has to get another 5000 views to move "all the way" to first...   

First place is currently "High School Football"...    but football season is over...

so, yeah, one more little shot can't hurt anything ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on November 13, 2007, 11:08:51 PM
Ok...    livevewire...   you bump....  I'll thump ;) ;)

Should I dare ask about  who will "hump" ??? :-[
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 13, 2007, 11:21:18 PM
Should I dare ask about  who will "hump" ??? :-[

We were just waitin' for someone to offer :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on November 13, 2007, 11:30:30 PM
Blushing!, just a very little bit ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 13, 2007, 11:55:32 PM
Blushing!, just a very little bit ;)

You didn't have to ask.....    and we all like to see the ladies blush once in a while *:) *:) *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 14, 2007, 08:16:15 AM
so, yeah, one more little shot can't hurt anything ;D ;D
Yeah, BRD, it always seems like there's at least one more little shot, huh. 
Sometimes it's hard to stop! :o     ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on November 14, 2007, 08:36:23 AM
you need to be very careful what you open at work 4x4mom....

U're not KIDDIN'!!  Some of the post I have to scroll right over.  And opening links...OMG!!  I don't even have an office.  I have a cubicle in the hallway!!!  Of course, if I could log on at home, I'd be glued to MT all the time!!  Then it would be off to divorce court and no more of this thread for me!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 14, 2007, 08:38:38 AM
It's like the weather...everybody talks about it...but nobody does anything about it... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 14, 2007, 08:47:27 AM
It's like the weather...everybody talks about it...but nobody does anything about it... :P
Yeah, Joe, it's just like the weather.  Nobody does anything about it because they CAN'T do anything about it!  We have NO control over it! :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 14, 2007, 09:56:43 AM
Yeah, Joe, it's just like the weather.  Nobody does anything about it because they CAN'T do anything about it!  We have NO control over it! :D
Of course you're only referring to men, right livewire?  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 14, 2007, 11:15:38 AM
Of course you're only referring to men, right livewire?  ;D

sounds to me life maybe ff has pretty good control of the situation...


old adage...  If you can't stay in control of the situation...    don't let it get out of hand... ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 14, 2007, 01:39:01 PM
sounds to me life maybe ff has pretty good control of the situation...


old adage...  If you can't stay in control of the situation...    don't let it get out of hand... ;) ;)

lol BRD.  After 2 hours that's probably where it ends up too. lol.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 14, 2007, 01:41:13 PM
lol BRD.  After 2 hours that's probably where it ends up too. lol.



awwwwwweeee Dundee........   you guys leavin' the images again in my head......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 14, 2007, 01:47:37 PM


awwwwwweeee Dundee........   you guys leavin' the images again in my head......

I personally thought BRD should be sent to the corner for his remarks.  Some dog's never learn...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: sue lee on November 14, 2007, 01:48:59 PM
lol BRD.  After 2 hours that's probably where it ends up too. lol.
LMAO
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 14, 2007, 01:49:50 PM
I personally thought BRD should be sent to the corner for his remarks.  Some dog's never learn...

OK....BRD to the corner......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 14, 2007, 01:57:21 PM
OK....BRD to the corner......

I've been at my computer desk in the corner all day...  does that count for anything??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on November 14, 2007, 01:59:25 PM
I've been at my computer desk in the corner all day...  does that count for anything??


didnt we already establish that no toys can be taken....remember MEN deleted all of them.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 15, 2007, 09:17:20 PM
No Buzz Lightyear action figure?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 15, 2007, 09:21:11 PM

didnt we already establish that no toys can be taken....remember MEN deleted all of them.

I think I'm lost here. What was deleted??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 15, 2007, 09:25:30 PM
I think I'm lost here. What was deleted??

Ok Whiskers...

several weeks ago there were some "complaints" about a few of the posts in this subject...  The MEN administrators deleted about 6 posts the best we collectively can figure out...

I'm not sure they were actually references to "toys" or not....

I think maybe cc was just gettin' a "dig" at the morality police

Whatever you missed wasn't that important :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 15, 2007, 09:32:17 PM
Ok Whiskers...

several weeks ago there were some "complaints" about a few of the posts in this subject...  The MEN administrators deleted about 6 posts the best we collectively can figure out...

I'm not sure they were actually references to "toys" or not....

I think maybe cc was just gettin' a "dig" at the morality police

Whatever you missed wasn't that important :o :o :o

Now I understand. Guess people couldn't hang with the big dogs right, BRD? lol, only kidding
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 17, 2007, 08:44:44 PM
A Man was walking home through the park one night and saw a woman in the shadows

She whispered "20 dollars”

The man had never been with a hooker before but decided that for only 20 bucks he couldn’t miss out.

They were going at it in the woods when a light shined upon them…….

"HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" barked a cop.

"I'm making love to my wife," the man indignantly said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the cop. "I didn’t know."

"Well said the man," I didn’t know either until you shined the light in her face."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 17, 2007, 08:49:43 PM
Ok Whiskers...

several weeks ago there were some "complaints" about a few of the posts in this subject...  The MEN administrators deleted about 6 posts the best we collectively can figure out...

I'm not sure they were actually references to "toys" or not....

I think maybe cc was just gettin' a "dig" at the morality police

Whatever you missed wasn't that important :o :o :o

"Toys, toys, toys.....in the attic...toys"  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 17, 2007, 08:51:20 PM
A Man was walking home through the park one night and saw a woman in the shadows

She whispered "20 dollars”

The man had never been with a hooker before but decided that for only 20 bucks he couldn’t miss out.

They were going at it in the woods when a light shined upon them…….

"HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" barked a cop.

"I'm making love to my wife," the man indignantly said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the cop. "I didn’t know."

"Well said the man," I didn’t know either until you shined the light in her face."

Only 20 dollars??

Which park?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 17, 2007, 08:54:19 PM
Only 20 dollars??

Which park?

Death Valley National Park
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 10:40:21 AM
"Toys, toys, toys.....in the attic...toys"  :o
Your toys are in the attic ???
Or maybe an Alice fan.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 11:03:27 AM
It's like the weather...everybody talks about it...but nobody does anything about it... :P
Speak for yourself Joe. I love SEX.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 18, 2007, 11:12:47 AM
Speak for yourself Joe. I love SEX.

me too ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 18, 2007, 11:22:23 AM
me too ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Who doesn't?!?  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 11:27:46 AM
Who doesn't?!?  ;)
Maybe Joe? He said nobody is doing anything about it.
Whatever that means. Ha Ha I just noticed he started this thread.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 11:30:49 AM
me too ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I'm glad someone does. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on November 18, 2007, 11:31:23 AM
Are you all STILL eating of the forbidden fruit? :D:D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 12:00:42 PM
Are you all STILL eating of the forbidden fruit? :D:D
Who?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 18, 2007, 01:07:13 PM
Anybody wanna buy a duck?? :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 18, 2007, 01:12:29 PM
Anybody wanna buy a duck?? :P

Let me tell you about you and your duck Joe...

Old joke....     actually about chickens and chicken feathers...    but we are going to substitute just for JOE...

kinky sex you use a duck feather....   

perverted sex you use the whole duck...

When the dog catches up to Joe, I might call her off just long enough to use Joe's duck on Joe...   and there won't be anything "normal" about it Joe :o :o :o

I hope the animal rights people aren't there...    not going to be a pretty sight!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 18, 2007, 01:17:58 PM
Save the sex site...please participate...we don't want the word game to defeat the sex game... :'(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 01:30:33 PM
Let me tell you about you and your duck Joe...

Old joke....     actually about chickens and chicken feathers...    but we are going to substitute just for JOE...

kinky sex you use a duck feather....   

perverted sex you use the whole duck...

When the dog catches up to Joe, I might call her off just long enough to use Joe's duck on Joe...   and there won't be anything "normal" about it Joe :o :o :o

I hope the animal rights people aren't there...    not going to be a pretty sight!!!
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. This is hilarious.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 18, 2007, 01:40:24 PM
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. This is hilarious.

Well Thatgirl....   

my only regret will be if Joe enjoys it as much as you are....

maybe we can get your "taz" avatar to give "The Big Red Dog" a hand holding Joe down...

I'll even let you help me with the duck...   I'll bet you've never done that before!!!

Then when we're done with Joe...    we'll just let taz and the brd chase him around the Custer statue downtown...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 18, 2007, 01:49:00 PM
When spelling duck, use caution...disaster is one key away... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 18, 2007, 06:34:00 PM
Speak for yourself Joe. I love SEX.
Hey, don't forget me!!!  I crave it!


Thatgirl, do you know cc or AtypicalGirl?  Maybe I could introduce you... ;D

The four of us could.......uh,...........play euchre!  Yeah, that's it!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on November 18, 2007, 10:17:42 PM
Hey, don't forget me!!!  I crave it!


Thatgirl, do you know cc or AtypicalGirl?  Maybe I could introduce you... ;D

The four of us could.......uh,...........play euchre!  Yeah, that's it!

Speaking of me when I'm not around???  :P I thought I heard my name.... LOL :-* :-*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 10:35:13 PM
Well Thatgirl....   

my only regret will be if Joe enjoys it as much as you are....

maybe we can get your "taz" avatar to give "The Big Red Dog" a hand holding Joe down...

I'll even let you help me with the duck...   I'll bet you've never done that before!!!

Then when we're done with Joe...    we'll just let taz and the brd chase him around the Custer statue downtown...
Well BigRedDog, You let me know the time and place. Taz and I will be there in a moments notice. I don't want to hold the duck. :P I will have to leave that up to you. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 18, 2007, 10:36:20 PM
Who's holding what and what about a duck?!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 10:41:01 PM
Hey, don't forget me!!!  I crave it!


Thatgirl, do you know cc or AtypicalGirl?  Maybe I could introduce you... ;D

The four of us could.......uh,...........play euchre!  Yeah, that's it!
;D ;D ;D Sounds good to me ;D ;D ;D ;D
I don't know cc or AtypicalGirl. Are they pretty crazy too?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 18, 2007, 10:45:36 PM
;D ;D ;D Sounds good to me ;D ;D ;D ;D
I don't know cc or AtypicalGirl. Are they pretty crazy too?

Have you read their posts?  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 10:46:53 PM
Who's holding what and what about a duck?!
Whiskers, Read post #613 and #616. I laughed so hard.
BigRedDog must be a real card. I was just about ready to take a drink of water when I read that. I'm so glad I didn't. It would have gone right out my nose. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 18, 2007, 10:48:23 PM
Have you read their posts?  :D
Not yet Whiskers. I'm fairly new on here.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on November 18, 2007, 11:49:45 PM
Not yet Whiskers. I'm fairly new on here.

LOL so am I but I've warmed up quite quickly! ;)  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 04:55:48 AM
LOL so am I but I've warmed up quite quickly! ;)  :D
I have warmed up quickly to. People on here seem very nice for the most part.
Not sure what the heck I think of Mr. Normal Joe? That's a crapshoot. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 08:32:55 AM
;D ;D ;D Sounds good to me ;D ;D ;D ;D
I don't know cc or AtypicalGirl. Are they pretty crazy too?

Oh, they're just another couple of sweethearts, just like you, Thatgirl.

I really like sweet girls....    ;)

Thatgirl, your age isn't listed in your profile.  If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 08:35:07 AM
I have warmed up quickly to. People on here seem very nice for the most part.
Not sure what the heck I think of Mr. Normal Joe? That's a crapshoot. ;D ;D

Dontcha just LOVE a woman that warms up quickly?  ;D

I love it!   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 08:55:14 AM
Dontcha just LOVE a woman that warms up quickly?  ;D

I love it!   ;)
Now I see why you call yourself Livewire ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:01:14 AM
Oh, they're just another couple of sweethearts, just like you, Thatgirl.

I really like sweet girls....    ;)

Thatgirl, your age isn't listed in your profile.  If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?  :)
"I plead the Fifth" A lady never reveals her age.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 19, 2007, 09:14:19 AM
"I plead the Fifth" A lady never reveals her age.

A Fifth??? :o......Pass the Jack Daniels, please ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 09:15:48 AM
A Fifth??? :o......Pass the Jack Daniels, please ;)

Careful, Joe, we don't know if she's old enough to drink!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:17:24 AM
A Fifth??? :o......Pass the Jack Daniels, please ;)
Already Joe?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:19:06 AM
Careful, Joe, we don't know if she's old enough to drink!
;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 09:20:40 AM
Thatgirl, who is that in your avatar?  It's hard to tell when she's only half an inch tall, but she looks hot! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:21:57 AM
A Fifth??? :o......Pass the Jack Daniels, please ;)
You better not get to drunk Joe. The BigRedDog will be showing up on your doorstep really soon. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:23:16 AM
Thatgirl, who is that in your avatar?  It's hard to tell when she's only half an inch tall, but she looks hot! ;D
Me
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 09:26:34 AM
Me


I KNEW IT!!!

I KNEW IT!!!

I just knew you were hot!  Livewire's radar is calibrated correctly!!!!  (http://bestsmileys.com/dancing/10.gif)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 09:28:14 AM
You better not get to drunk Joe. The BigRedDog will be showing up on your doorstep really soon. ;)

Are you BigRedDog's daughter? 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:30:29 AM
Are you BigRedDog's daughter? 
I will never tell. Hehe
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:32:17 AM
Are you BigRedDog's daughter? 
I'm kidding.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on November 19, 2007, 09:34:42 AM
Thatgirl, who is that in your avatar?  It's hard to tell when she's only half an inch tall, but she looks hot! ;D


(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G2XEEXVDL._AA240_.jpg)

Marlo Thomas is hot...LOL

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6c/Thatgirllogo.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:37:38 AM
([url]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G2XEEXVDL._AA240_.jpg[/url])

Marlo Thomas is hot...LOL

([url]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6c/Thatgirllogo.jpg[/url])
LOL :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 09:38:43 AM
Yeah, Zard, at first that's who I thought might be in her avatar.

Thatgirl, even if you are the BRD's daughter, it doesn't change the fact that you're hot. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:42:12 AM
Yeah, Zard, at first that's who I thought might be in her avatar.

Thatgirl, even if you are the BRD's daughter, it doesn't change the fact that you're hot. ;D
You guys crack me up.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MomEm on November 19, 2007, 09:42:52 AM
Marlo Thomas is on Monroe Talks!!!!

And Marlo, you must have missed it, there is a whole thread asking your age!  And lots of ladies told.

MomEm

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 09:46:33 AM
Marlo Thomas is on Monroe Talks!!!!

And Marlo, you must have missed it, there is a whole thread asking your age!  And lots of ladies told.

MomEm


Good Morning MomEm. I will have to find that thread. Darn them!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 10:04:48 AM
I KNEW IT!!!

I KNEW IT!!!

I just knew you were hot!  Livewire's radar is calibrated correctly!!!!  ([url]http://bestsmileys.com/dancing/10.gif[/url])
I'm sorry Livewire. I knew you would figure it out...sooner or later.;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 10:10:07 AM
Good Morning BigRedDog.
I don't know why the daughter subject came up.
I can assure you. I'm not your daughter. LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 10:12:55 AM
Thatgirl, even if you are the BRD's daughter, it doesn't change the fact that you're hot. ;D

Well livewire and all other "interested" posters...  

IF Thatgirl is my daughter then she is only 17...

but, I'm sure some guys think she's at least "warm"....    I try to ignore that side of her :o :o

I'm about 99.9% sure it's not my daughter though ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 10:14:40 AM
Good Morning BigRedDog.
I don't know why the daughter subject came up.
I can assure you. I'm not your daughter. LOL

I was just "assuring" so too Thatgirl...

I saw the someone else has posted warning...   so I read yours and decided to just leave mine as I posted it ;) ;)

I feel safe ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 19, 2007, 10:18:49 AM
I was just "assuring" so too Thatgirl...

I saw the someone else has posted warning...   so I read yours and decided to just leave mine as I posted it ;) ;)

I feel safe ;D ;D
I didn't want you to freak out. You know....Daddy on the sex thread. I'm laughing so hard tears are falling on my keyboard.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 10:36:57 AM
I didn't want you to freak out. You know....Daddy on the sex thread. I'm laughing so hard tears are falling on my keyboard.

Well, I've already had a few "surprises" on MonroeTalks....    but, yes, that would be a Surprise :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 19, 2007, 11:16:44 AM
Me

Uh oh folks...we have a babe in the forum... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 11:26:28 AM
Uh oh folks...we have a babe in the forum... ;)

Joe....    we have several "babes" in this forum....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on November 19, 2007, 11:32:55 AM
Wow BRD, I guess you were right about that Monday morning talk.....I've missed quite a bit :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 01:57:17 PM
Wow BRD, I guess you were right about that Monday morning talk.....I've missed quite a bit :(

Well, let us know when you get caught up and then we'll post "our question"!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 19, 2007, 02:11:22 PM
"I plead the Fifth" A lady never reveals her age.

Well livewire...    I've been calculating this out a bit...  based upon the writing styles and their use of "certain phrases"...

I have made the following observations about ATypicalGirl and Thatgirl...

I think ATG is about 24 yrs old....

and I'll bet Tg is every bit as old as 27....

so, both should be plenty safe to go drinking with ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on November 19, 2007, 02:16:02 PM
Well livewire...    I've been calculating this out a bit...  based upon the writing styles and their use of "certain phrases"...

I have made the following observations about ATypicalGirl and Thatgirl...

I think ATG is about 24 yrs old....

and I'll bet Tg is every bit as old as 27....

so, both should be plenty safe to go drinking with ;D ;D ;D

Wow BRD I feel special :) lol Actually I'm not 24...my profile is correct in saying that I'm 21 :P But thank you hun for the compliment  :-* :-*

And yes I'm old enough to go drinking with....but I wouldn't say I'm safe! lol I get a little...ummm....frisky when I'm drinking :D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 19, 2007, 03:38:20 PM
Stop getting all the old guys all worked up... We are still waiting to go out with Coley and her barely legal friends and show them that us Seniors can party down with all the young hipsters!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MomEm on November 19, 2007, 03:43:56 PM
Stop getting all the old guys all worked up... We are still waiting to go out with Coley and her barely legal friends and show them that us Seniors can party down with all the young hipsters!

LOL

MomEm
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 19, 2007, 03:45:16 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmm...you think maybe she's really a little old lady just out for kicks? ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 19, 2007, 04:06:15 PM
I think it's really FF in his alter ego.  Or maybe its a little old lady out for kicks and FF is her alter ego!   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 05:27:28 PM
And yes I'm old enough to go drinking with....but I wouldn't say I'm safe! lol I get a little...ummm....frisky when I'm drinking :D ;D

What's your favorite beer, ATG?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 05:44:19 PM
Well livewire and all other "interested" posters...  

IF Thatgirl is my daughter then she is only 17...

but, I'm sure some guys think she's at least "warm"....    I try to ignore that side of her :o :o

I'm about 99.9% sure it's not my daughter though ;D ;D ;D

Well, maybe it's partly my fault - I first asked the question in reference to Thatgirl's statement: "You better not get to drunk Joe. The BigRedDog will be showing up on your doorstep really soon."

I'm sorry if I gave you a scare, BRD!  That was not my intention!  It just sounded like TG was going to sick you on Joe there for a minute!  LOL

I don't think we'll require a paternity test.  Your word is good enough for me!!!   ;D ;D ;D

(Dog, I still think we should get together with several of these hotties over a beer!)


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 05:56:05 PM
Well livewire...    I've been calculating this out a bit...  based upon the writing styles and their use of "certain phrases"...

I have made the following observations about ATypicalGirl and Thatgirl...

I think ATG is about 24 yrs old....

and I'll bet Tg is every bit as old as 27....

so, both should be plenty safe to go drinking with ;D ;D ;D

Ah yes, my friend, I do believe these two fine ladies are plenty safe to go drinking with (or anything else for that matter). 

I also believe ATG when she says she's 21 - very believable.
Thatgirl is in her mid-twenties, in my opinion.  She could be older, but I doubt it.  Am I 'getting warm' Thatgirl? ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 19, 2007, 06:07:25 PM
I think it's really FF in his alter ego.  Or maybe its a little old lady out for kicks and FF is her alter ego!   :o

Me too. :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 06:30:39 PM
I think it's really FF in his alter ego.  Or maybe its a little old lady out for kicks and FF is her alter ego!   :o

Well, that could be.

Me and BRD will let you know after we take her out for a beer!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 19, 2007, 06:37:34 PM
Well, that could be.

Me and BRD will let you know after we take her out for a beer!   ;D

Just make sure "she's" not tucked & taped!! lol!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 06:45:51 PM
Just make sure "she's" not tucked & taped!! lol!!!

Good advice, MM!

I will personally confirm that she is not!   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on November 19, 2007, 07:04:59 PM
Just make sure "she's" not tucked & taped!! lol!!!

ewwwww
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 19, 2007, 07:18:20 PM
Good advice, MM!

I will personally confirm that she is not!   ;D ;D

You are a brave--and highly motivated--man, livewire!!  :D :D :D  Good luck with that!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 19, 2007, 07:26:51 PM
You are a brave--and highly motivated--man, livewire!!  :D :D :D  Good luck with that!!

Is Livewire going one on one with the Bloody Red Baron?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 19, 2007, 07:33:13 PM
Is Livewire going one on one with the Bloody Red Baron?

I have lots of ammo, Tiny!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 20, 2007, 08:58:47 AM
Ah yes, my friend, I do believe these two fine ladies are plenty safe to go drinking with (or anything else for that matter). 

I also believe ATG when she says she's 21 - very believable.
Thatgirl is in her mid-twenties, in my opinion.  She could be older, but I doubt it.  Am I 'getting warm' Thatgirl? ;)
I will put it to you this way. I am old enough to remember "Thatgirl" :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 20, 2007, 09:09:59 AM
I will put it to you this way. I am old enough to remember "Thatgirl" :o

Some people here are clueless

That Girl (’66-’71)

So that would make you at least in your 40’s or older

The first clue was your old photo avatar…..the top portion of the skirt was higher back then
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 20, 2007, 09:21:22 AM
I will put it to you this way. I am old enough to remember "Thatgirl" :o

Well Thatgirl...

I remember it too....   

I was 16 when it first started on TV...   
if you remember it from then...   well I guess that would put you way past 27....    and plenty safe to go drinking with :o :o :o

If you just happen to be a real fan...  then with re-runs and video's you could be a lot younger ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 20, 2007, 10:11:00 AM
Well, the Sex thread finally passed right by "High School Football" just as anticipated :D :D  (football season is over this weekend)

But....   the Word Association Game has jumped past them both...   

Who would ever have thought...   

I'm sure there is a joke here somewhere ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 20, 2007, 11:18:40 AM
FINALLY, THE 6 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR ?
A: It's Braille for " suck here. "

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS ?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but " down under. "

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS ?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN ?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

AND:

Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT ?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MomEm on November 20, 2007, 01:34:03 PM
yawn
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 20, 2007, 01:38:15 PM
Some people here are clueless

That Girl (’66-’71)

So that would make you at least in your 40’s or older

The first clue was your old photo avatar…..the top portion of the skirt was higher back then

Told you...a little old lady... ;)......... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on November 21, 2007, 07:20:00 AM
I check this post periodically, just to see how much farther it has deteriorated.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on November 21, 2007, 11:07:33 AM
First of all....let me apologize for taking so long...

My computer crashed! I was so upset because I was in the middle of writing a paper and I lost it all!

Ok...enough of that....

What's your favorite beer, ATG?

Miller or Bud light ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 21, 2007, 11:31:45 AM
Remember that we are going to beat the word game...

Rah sex...

Boo word... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 22, 2007, 01:16:42 PM
Some people here are clueless

That Girl (’66-’71)

So that would make you at least in your 40’s or older

The first clue was your old photo avatar…..the top portion of the skirt was higher back then
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 22, 2007, 01:21:05 PM
Told you...a little old lady... ;)......... ;D
No comment! *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 23, 2007, 02:20:58 PM
Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.
Linus Torvalds

Don't look at me...I didn't say it...Linus did.... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on November 24, 2007, 05:06:59 PM
Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.

Let's see, flowers, movie, drinks, dinner, wine, motel.
Were do you get free?


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 24, 2007, 05:21:59 PM
Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.

Let's see, flowers, movie, drinks, dinner, wine, motel.
Were do you get free?




Usually under the bleachers.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 05:27:12 PM
How do you know if you're doing it right?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 24, 2007, 05:29:40 PM
How do you know if you're doing it right?

Doing which part right??

Hey, your last post was number 691!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 24, 2007, 05:40:36 PM
IS THAT A NEW THREE WAY? 691
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 05:42:45 PM
Doing which part right??

Hey, your last post was number 691!  :D

What is the significance? lol.  I've led such a sheltered life.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 24, 2007, 05:45:18 PM
IS THAT A NEW THREE WAY? 691

Maybe that means someone is watching!! lol!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 24, 2007, 05:51:27 PM
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...
Two can be as bad as one,
It's the loneliest number since the number one, oh.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 06:08:21 PM
Doing which part right??

Hey, your last post was number 691!  :D

IT! lol.  Dancin' in the sheets!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 24, 2007, 06:18:44 PM
IT! lol.  Dancin' in the sheets!

Oh, you're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you??

Lemme put it this way, if neither of you can remember how to breathe when you're done, you did it right!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 06:26:29 PM
Oh, you're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you??

Lemme put it this way, if neither of you can remember how to breathe when you're done, you did it right!  ;)

Thanks MM.  I'll pass this info on to the misses.  This was actually her question.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 24, 2007, 06:30:12 PM
How do you know if you're doing it right?

If you're using your left hand, you're not doing it right.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 06:52:36 PM
If you're using your left hand, you're not doing it right.

 ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on November 24, 2007, 06:56:39 PM

Lemme put it this way, if neither of you can remember how to breathe when you're done, you did it right!  ;)

I usually have to give my wife mouth to mouth afterwards so she can breathe.

        :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 24, 2007, 07:42:05 PM
I'm getting up there in age.  If I'm supposed to do it the way MM says, I better keep a defibrillator by the bed.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 24, 2007, 08:32:52 PM
I'm getting up there in age.  If I'm supposed to do it the way MM says, I better keep a defibrillator by the bed.

Snixxxxxxxxx!!!   <Nearly shooting Pinot Noir thru nose!!>  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 25, 2007, 11:09:54 AM
You can't be a sexy person unless you have something sexy to offer. With me, it's my voice: the way that I sing, the way I express myself when I sing.
Tom Jones

It pays to take singing lessions?? ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 25, 2007, 11:19:31 AM
You can't be a sexy person unless you have something sexy to offer.

Somehow, somewhere....   

somebody always finds something sexy about everybody...   

part of the great plan of life I guess :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 25, 2007, 11:23:55 AM
Bet you don't mean the fem-lady ;D tho...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 25, 2007, 11:32:38 AM
Bet you don't mean the fem-lady ;D tho...

Well Joe...   

if you're referring to Lady Arbella's bra burning and leg shaving post on another thread....

I have met Lady Arbella and I would have to say she was actually "quite sexy" in many different ways... ;) ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 25, 2007, 11:33:42 AM
Somehow, somewhere....   

somebody always finds something sexy about everybody...   

part of the great plan of life I guess :D :D :D
BRD......Normal Joe SEXY :P I don't think so. :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 25, 2007, 11:37:51 AM
BRD......Normal Joe SEXY :P I don't think so. :o

Yes Thatgirl....   somewhere there's even a sexy match for all the normal Joe's...

I know, hard to believe ;D ;D ;D 

(otherwise they would never re-produce and we'd run out of normal!!!) :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 25, 2007, 11:43:22 AM
Thank you sportsfans... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 25, 2007, 11:48:23 AM
Yes Thatgirl....   somewhere there's even a sexy match for all the normal Joe's...

I know, hard to believe ;D ;D ;D 

(otherwise they would never re-produce and we'd run out of normal!!!) :o
O.K. Dad. I guess I won't argue with you. ;D ;D LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 25, 2007, 11:49:15 AM
Thank you sportsfans... ;D
>:(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 25, 2007, 11:50:16 AM
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr >:(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 25, 2007, 11:52:19 AM
O.K. Dad. I guess I won't argue with you. ;D ;D LOL

OK Thatgirl....     

we're going to have everybody talking again (or is it "still")?? ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 25, 2007, 11:56:00 AM
OK Thatgirl....     

we're going to have everybody talking again (or is it "still")?? ;) ;) ;)
I will never forget that. LOL ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Thatgirl on November 25, 2007, 11:56:36 AM
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr >:(
:-*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 25, 2007, 12:24:32 PM
Well Joe...   

if you're referring to Lady Arbella's bra burning and leg shaving post on another thread....

I have met Lady Arbella and I would have to say she was actually "quite sexy" in many different ways... ;) ;) ;) ;)


Very astute observation BRD.  I concur.  ;) :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on November 25, 2007, 12:31:43 PM
Yoweeee Kazoweeeeee!!! Good thing all you guys had your napkins in your lap that night!!!! lol!!!!

Hey, even I think LadyA is lovely!!  (You hottie, you!! ;) )
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on November 25, 2007, 12:55:24 PM
Good thing all you guys had your napkins in your lap that night!!!! lol!!!!

and you thought we were just being "polite" ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 25, 2007, 01:36:51 PM
Very astute observation BRD.  I concur.  ;) :P
Tell the lady that I called up Mr and Mrs. Gillette...They're coming over to her house and bringing their  extra heavy-duty razor blades and shaving cream.. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 25, 2007, 06:30:15 PM
Well Joe...   

if you're referring to Lady Arbella's bra burning and leg shaving post on another thread....

I have met Lady Arbella and I would have to say she was actually "quite sexy" in many different ways... ;) ;) ;) ;)


Oh, BRD you are so right on here.  If anything, it's an understatement.  Joe, I have also met the dear Lady - she's the kind of woman that can take your breath away when you see her.  And from what I've seen, she's just as beautiful inside as she is outside, and I know beautiful when I see it.   'Nuff said.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on November 25, 2007, 08:02:27 PM
Oh, BRD you are so right on here.  If anything, it's an understatement.  Joe, I have also met the dear Lady - she's the kind of woman that can take your breath away when you see her.  And from what I've seen, she's just as beautiful inside as she is outside, and I know beautiful when I see it.   'Nuff said.


lol.  LadyA is going to be BEET RED when she reads this!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 25, 2007, 08:21:16 PM
lol.  LadyA is going to be BEET RED when she reads this!

LOL!!!

Yeah, Dundee, she probably will!  But that's OK.  My intention was not to embarrass her - if anything it was to flatter her.  I hope she sees it that way.   Just in case people don't get it yet, I am NOT afraid to speak my mind, and I always speak the truth.  This is no different!  What can I say?  LadyA is a hottie!   :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 26, 2007, 11:16:34 AM
 Things you can only say at Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11.. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

19. How long do I beat it before it's ready!

I HOPE YOUR THANKSGIVING WAS A HAPPY ONE !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 26, 2007, 02:36:31 PM
And from what I've seen, she's just as beautiful inside as she is outside

Dude... are you a doctor??   :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 26, 2007, 05:20:45 PM
Dude... are you a doctor??   :P
No, but I play one on TV.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on November 26, 2007, 08:13:24 PM
lol.  LadyA is going to be BEET RED when she reads this!

It was more like 5 different shades of red before finally ending up at BEET RED..... :-[

Dawg, DundeeDad, livewire, and of course Ms. Snarky (the hottie Monroe Mama), hugs to all of you for coming to my defense. YOU guys are the BEST! All I have to say is that .....it is AMAZING what good lighting and a few rounds of drinkies can do for a girl's looks............. ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 27, 2007, 12:02:58 PM
....it is AMAZING what good lighting and a few rounds of drinkies can do for a girl's looks......

And a guy's chance to score!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 27, 2007, 01:18:49 PM
Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.
Sophia Loren



Uh huh... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on November 27, 2007, 01:43:09 PM
Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

I always thought it was 50 percent what you've got and 50 percent Jose Cuervo straight up.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 27, 2007, 06:49:11 PM
For the musically challenged!

I never could read sheet music; now I can!

Prelude du Fornication (in the key of Db)

(Adult content)


http://www.donotreadthis.co.uk/prelude-du-fornication/ (http://www.donotreadthis.co.uk/prelude-du-fornication/)

This link is better
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Whiskers on November 27, 2007, 07:48:25 PM
For the musically challenged!

I never could read sheet music; now I can!

Prelude du Fornication (in the key of Db)

(Adult content)



[url]http://www.erosblog.com/sex-pictures/?fornication.gif[/url] ([url]http://www.erosblog.com/sex-pictures/?fornication.gif[/url])


How cute! But the advertisements on the side..... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 28, 2007, 02:28:20 PM
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
 ;D_______________________________________________________________________
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on November 28, 2007, 02:34:00 PM
Things you can only say at Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11.. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

19. How long do I beat it before it's ready!

I HOPE YOUR THANKSGIVING WAS A HAPPY ONE !
heehee
It was more like 5 different shades of red before finally ending up at BEET RED..... :-[

Dawg, DundeeDad, livewire, and of course Ms. Snarky (the hottie Monroe Mama), hugs to all of you for coming to my defense. YOU guys are the BEST! All I have to say is that .....it is AMAZING what good lighting and a few rounds of drinkies can do for a girl's looks............. ;D


:D
Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.
Sophia Loren



Uh huh... ;)
ooo Sophia Loren
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on November 29, 2007, 02:18:25 PM
People equate sexy with promiscuous. They think that because I'm shaped this way, I must be scandalous - like running around and bringing men into my hotel room. But it's just the opposite.
Jennifer Lopez


**************
Uh huh...sure..... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 29, 2007, 09:57:13 PM
A cowboy was driving down a back road in Texas   
   
A sign in front of a Restaurant read:
 
Happy Hour Special...
Lobster Tail and Beer
   
"Lord almighty," he said to himself.
   
"My three favorite things!"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 29, 2007, 09:58:20 PM
No Sex Since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"  "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,
"It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation,
said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy
yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this
the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit
taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955. The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
(Don't ya love military time?!)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 29, 2007, 10:07:37 PM
(Adult link)
When you get time... Try cleaning your computer monitor screen on the inside.
Anyone who's has ever owned an aquarium knows that you have to clean the glass on the inside, sooner or later.

Some people use to do that with a brush that is held to the glass by a magnet on the outside. In that way you can clean the inside glass from the outside by moving the brush up and down the glass with the magnet apparatus.

The same goes for the inside of the monitor screen you are watching right now.

Up until now there was no such cleaner, but thanks to Microsoft there now is, thanks Bill!

Just Click on the below link and move your cursor up, down, back, and forth... This will clean the backside of your monitor screen.

The results are amazing.

My computer screen looks much, much better now. You will be amazed at the difference and how much better and clearer the words appear and less strain on your eyes...

For the best results it is recommended to do a thorough inside cleaning at least once weekly. I do mine 3 - 4 times a day now, just to aid my failing eye site....click here  http://usastuart.com/brush.htm (http://usastuart.com/brush.htm)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on November 29, 2007, 10:51:15 PM
I never knew my laptop screen was so dirty!  It's truly amazing!!!

I'm going to use this tool frequently.  Thanks, Fry!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on November 30, 2007, 01:51:49 PM
Keep Sex alive!

So, I was digging through an old box of stuff and found a paper a friend and I wrote up in High School. It was at the time we were doing fun/ny PG-stripping at graduation parties and stuff (we even got to do the Apache and Safety Dance at two seperate assemblies). These papers were written as a means to recruit and audition girls for a part in the stripping as well as our group's (Whole Lotta Naked) slogans. All was done in jest, of course, but here's the slogans to draw in the hotties, which may only be amazing to me, lol. It starts simple and gets more creative as we go along.

Get naked!
Take it off!
Clothes suck!
Down with pants, up with naked!
Start making a quick buck, learn to make a living!
College credit!
No auditions, just take it off!
Just do me!
Clothes are a distraction!
No shirt, no shoes, no problem!
Soft and Hardcore classes available!
Confidence is the key to success; strip proudly!
Take take take, take take take, take your clothes off, take your clothes off!
Shake that nasty!
Grit your teeth and bare it!
Buckle up baby 'cause here we cum!
No clothes allowed unless they taste good!

Haha, so in retrospect, you probably won't read or enjoy that. I think it's a nostalgia thing, and I would delete it if it didn't take so long to type it all out, lol. One more post for the sex thread!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 04, 2007, 09:56:27 PM
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.

As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car .

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

"Heavens no, we bought it."

"Then why don't you drive it away."

"We can't drive." 

"Then why did you buy it?"

"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ..so  we're just waiting.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on December 05, 2007, 03:52:21 PM
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 09, 2007, 09:51:08 AM
Monica Lewinsky went to dry cleaners, walks in and an old clerk hard of hearing says may I help you.

She holds out a red dress and states, I really need this done by tomorrow afternoon for a dinner party, can you clean it by then?

He looks at her with a confused glance and says come again?

She says no just mustard this time
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on December 09, 2007, 01:08:43 PM
Clinton will be displeased.... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 10, 2007, 08:27:43 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/01010001021201031120071210dc1359105e1caae2fd00c49b.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on December 10, 2007, 08:57:09 PM
([url]http://images.craigslist.org/01010001021201031120071210dc1359105e1caae2fd00c49b.jpg[/url])


Is that what they call a Coon Dog?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 11, 2007, 07:02:41 PM
White Trash Christmas

http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on December 11, 2007, 07:08:56 PM
White Trash Christmas

[url]http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/[/url]


Cute FF...very cute ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on December 11, 2007, 07:21:10 PM
White Trash Christmas

[url]http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/[/url]


neat video ff....   all those critters though, and not a single duck :( :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on December 11, 2007, 07:23:33 PM
White Trash Christmas

[url]http://andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/[/url]


Beauty, fry !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 11, 2007, 08:33:28 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/01010401021101160020071211ae74b229b299cad3a000eb0d.jpg)(http://images.craigslist.org/0101020102020116062007121183cc678809bcbe4b2300dd37.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on December 11, 2007, 08:34:10 PM
OMG way too funny lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on December 11, 2007, 08:36:26 PM
OMG way too funny lol

yeah, NOW !  ;D

young 'un
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on December 11, 2007, 08:38:46 PM
yeah, NOW !  ;D

young 'un

LMFAO omg I'm laughing so hard over here!

And I will always think it's funny....that's the type of person I am ;) When I get older, I will be just like my grandma, she's always doing the funniest things cause she doesn't know any better (like things with the computer) and yet she can laugh it off. I love it!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on December 11, 2007, 08:42:05 PM
LMFAO omg I'm laughing so hard over here!

And I will always think it's funny....that's the type of person I am ;) When I get older, I will be just like my grandma, she's always doing the funniest things cause she doesn't know any better (like things with the computer) and yet she can laugh it off. I love it!  :D

Grandma's are the best !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on December 11, 2007, 08:46:15 PM
Grandma's are the best !

Yes they are! I love my grandma dearly!!

I couldn't help myself but laugh when I borrowed her computer....mine was in the shop because a virus overtook it...and she told me "Make sure my computer doesn't get sick!" but she had no clue what a virus in the computer was LOL  :P

Oh god I love her  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: marilyn.monroe on December 13, 2007, 08:54:42 PM
There's love, there's lust, there's companionship, and there's friendship...
I am carrying this over from another topic lol where the question was asked/stated being gay is evil.
Are we all to be sent to hell for impure thoughts? I know I have them. What if I suddenly die before I can ask forgiveness...Is God gonna send me to hell?! I wonder if it depends on just how impure my thoughts were. Well, God gave us a mind and free will, and I don't see anything wrong with thinking things over to yourself. I don't believe God will burn me for an eternity because I could pass in a moment of doubt, or a "sinful" thought. Sex for pleasure, sex for love, sex for creating children, sex out of desperation, sex crimes...to me sex is a very complicated thing.
What I am basically trying to say is...what the heck do I know?! I am no sexpert, and I am kind of glad for that. I have always been fascinated by people's views on sex. I think pregnancy and STDs are relevant. Of course I have my religious convictions, and while that should make it easier, it only makes it harder.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 13, 2007, 09:40:11 PM
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What's your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 14, 2007, 11:59:17 PM
This guy should never go to prison

http://detroit.craigslist.org/rnr/509291567.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on December 16, 2007, 02:59:12 PM
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What's your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"


Ahaahhaha
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on December 16, 2007, 03:02:14 PM
This guy should never go to prison

[url]http://detroit.craigslist.org/rnr/509291567.html[/url]


Wow! Too true, lol.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 21, 2007, 08:15:44 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/0101010102060103082007122133e4888802ae64cd8000647d.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 21, 2007, 08:29:43 PM

John consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal.
Off he went with his sister to SEARS and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy underwear for herself at the same time.
SEARS had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and John unknowingly got the sexy underwear.

Good old John sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter;

Dear Janet
I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings.
If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove).
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her.
She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean.
In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.
Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.
All my love,John.

P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 25, 2007, 01:45:10 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/010201011611010312200712257da2a04585e52234da00db08.jpg)(http://images.craigslist.org/01010501150701030020071225b6e99d49cbffbec6e500fab3.jpg)(http://images.craigslist.org/01021201040301161220071225b22adc4aee6c4e1b0b003777.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 26, 2007, 04:15:15 PM
TOP TEN THOUGHTS FOR 2007

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but  you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial  tax cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world  is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among  the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.  Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

And the BONUS thought for today
"Life is like a jar of jalapeños .  What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Pleasantville on December 27, 2007, 05:18:23 AM
French Fry you are killing me too funny! LOVE the top 10!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on December 27, 2007, 01:28:24 PM
Sex is a lot like the weather...everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about it... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 30, 2007, 02:37:50 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/010104010202010310200712302339148ebe76cd413700d27b.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 02, 2008, 10:31:26 AM
The Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain,
"Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood ,
"because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach ,
"because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs,
"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
"Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum,
"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.





The Moral of the story?





The ******* is usually in charge!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Truth on January 02, 2008, 03:50:02 PM
This world is goin' straight to hell!

That's the truth.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on January 02, 2008, 07:13:50 PM
This world is goin' straight to hell!

That's the truth.

Uh, what's that got to do with sex?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on January 05, 2008, 03:24:22 PM
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

IT'S NOT A TUMAH!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on January 05, 2008, 06:09:37 PM
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

IT'S NOT A TUMAH!

LMFAO I loved that movie!

But m0x, it's the wrong section for movie quotes....  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on January 06, 2008, 12:10:20 PM
Gee.. :o...sure is interesting in here... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on January 07, 2008, 08:59:39 PM
I'm naked.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on January 07, 2008, 09:00:58 PM
Here I brought an extra pink thong just in case!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on January 08, 2008, 08:37:13 AM
Ewwwwww.......



and




Ewwwwww.........
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on January 08, 2008, 10:25:46 AM
Here I brought an extra pink thong just in case!

I KNEW if I strolled into enough threads naked I'd eventually get one of the infamous pink thongs! Yay!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on January 09, 2008, 09:26:49 AM
Well...I guess sex is here to stay...of course it is something that we all can identify with..we all have one...(normal people  ;D)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on January 09, 2008, 09:32:41 AM
Well...I guess sex is here to stay...of course it is something that we all can identify with..we all have one...(normal people  ;D)

We all have "one" what? 



A duck?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on January 09, 2008, 09:35:30 AM
We all have "one" what? 



A duck?

Anybody wanna buy a duck??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 16, 2008, 09:45:03 AM
The C-5 pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the G.I.s  the usual information regarding seat belts,parachutes, etc .

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to  Afghanistan"

An old M/Sgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"


When the attendant came by he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?'
'Yes,' said the Attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God", he said, "I wish I had  two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing Sarge," said the attendant,

'We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit."

"It's The Box Office"  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 17, 2008, 08:38:36 PM
Nymphomania Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up & saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. 

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, 'Business trip or pleasure?' 

She turned, smiled, and said, 'Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of  AmericaConvention in  Boston .'

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?'

Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.' 

'Really?' he said. 'And what kind of myths are there?'

'Well,' she explained," one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. 

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.' 

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
'I'm sorry,' she said, 'I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.' 

'Tonto,' the man said, 'Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 25, 2008, 11:17:31 AM
 THE PROSTATE CHECK-UP

A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 99.

The guy obeys and says, 99! The doctor says, 'Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep  breath and say, 99.  Again, the guy says, '99.  The doctor said, 'Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis.   Now take a deep breath and  say, 99

The guy begins, 'One ... Two ... Three  ...'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 25, 2008, 07:35:19 PM
The Penis WANTS A RAISE

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
Reasons:
1-------- I do physical labor.
2.------- I work at great depths.
3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5.--------I work in a damp environment.
6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7.------- I work in high temperatures.
8 . -------My work exposes me to diseases.

Reply: Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
Raised, the management denies your Request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not a ll, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management





Five reasons not to be a penis ..
1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an *** hole and...
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on January 25, 2008, 08:30:50 PM
FF, you are something else aren't you.... LOL

but yes, I admit it....it was pretty funny. :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 01, 2008, 03:58:50 PM
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. ”
Robert De Niro

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

“Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.”
Roseanne Barr quotes

"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.”
Steve Jobs

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”
Sharon Stone

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night
Rodney Dangerfield

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 11, 2008, 02:48:44 PM
Well my sex contribution wasn’t appropriate for a family audience and was deleted but which one prompted the action……the dog watching the other dogs or the suggestive tattoo?

I figured families would prevent the young ‘uns from perusing a topic titled “Sex”

It seems my avatar of a urinal shaped like a mouth with teeth has garnered some complaints as well so I voluntarily complied with the request.

This may cross the line but future complainers should receive this notice:
(http://images.craigslist.org/01010401020001030520080210960ebd6588781ed23f00eb1e.jpg)

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on February 14, 2008, 08:22:22 PM
One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw
a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his
friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and
looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream.

All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand
why he ran away so he took off after his friend.
Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to
 his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to
 stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 14, 2008, 12:23:00 AM
Are we ready for this topic to get rolling again ?  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: illuminerie on April 14, 2008, 12:24:19 AM
Are we ready for this topic to get rolling again ?  ;) ;D
About as much as a prudent church going girl, I suppose.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Mrs.S on April 14, 2008, 12:25:15 AM
Hello, I saw the topic and my eyes bulged. :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 14, 2008, 12:26:44 AM
LOL Mrs. S...you should go back and read some of the stuff...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 14, 2008, 12:27:18 AM
About as much as a prudent church going girl, I suppose.


Hmm..
You just wanted to be notified when the thread was updated lumie..  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Mrs.S on April 14, 2008, 12:28:31 AM
LOL Mrs. S...you should go back and read some of the stuff...

If I did that, I know I wouldn't sleep tonight.  I would get bothered and have to wake up Squonk. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: illuminerie on April 14, 2008, 12:32:21 AM

Hmm..
You just wanted to be notified when the thread was updated lumie..  :D
To put a Holy Curse on it, right?

If this were the only topic sex was discussed in, I'd be happy though, as I think it would keep the forum nice and clean. But anywhos! I won't discuss that here. And I don't wanna discuss it here.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 14, 2008, 09:13:00 AM
To put a Holy Curse on it, right?

If this were the only topic sex was discussed in, I'd be happy though, as I think it would keep the forum nice and clean. But anywhos! I won't discuss that here. And I don't wanna discuss it here.


You said that, I didn't. I was making a joke...and of course you want to know. Sex is pretty interesting.  ;)


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on April 14, 2008, 10:18:01 AM
Don't knock it till you try it Lumie.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 14, 2008, 12:54:25 PM
Don't knock it till you try it Lumie.

I am sure that he has, but I suspect that his hand falls aleep everytime...

Isn't funny how he always seems to jump in to the flirt thread and the sex thread so he can post his idiotic things like:

About as much as a prudent church going girl, I suppose.

Personally, if I were Bethany I would have given him a large red

Fu*K OFF


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on April 14, 2008, 01:02:39 PM
I am sure that he has, but I suspect that his hand falls aleep everytime...

Isn't funny how he always seems to jump in to the flirt thread and the sex thread so he can post his idiotic things like:



Isn't that called "The Stranger"? 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on April 15, 2008, 11:23:26 AM
Sex :o ?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 12:50:33 PM
NormalJoe..
You are always in the mood aren't ya ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 02:23:59 PM
Isn't that called "The Stranger"? 

LMAO!!  I forgot about that one!

Reminds me of the Cleveland steamer now that I think about it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on April 15, 2008, 02:29:12 PM
LMAO!!  I forgot about that one!

Reminds me of the Cleveland steamer now that I think about it.

Which reminds me of Tenacious D..."All I'm asking you to do is...Drop trou and squeeze out a Cleveland Steamer on my chest......"

Gotta love it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 15, 2008, 02:31:09 PM
Which reminds me of Tenacious D..."All I'm asking you to do is...Drop trou and squeeze out a Cleveland Steamer on my chest......"

Gotta love it.


ewwwwww - hey livewire...would you insert one of the throw up faces for me please!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 02:38:38 PM
Perhaps cc you are more familiar with the Dutch Oven?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on April 15, 2008, 02:43:22 PM

Personally, if I were Bethany I would have given him a large red

Fu*K OFF



HEY, that's my line...LOL

 ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 02:50:12 PM
Yes Z  and I apologize for not giving you author credit on that, but it was an impulsive post!

It's a great statement BTW!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 15, 2008, 02:56:47 PM
Perhaps cc you are more familiar with the Dutch Oven?



Farmer...off to the lab with you!  (maybe thats not the best choice of places in this thread....  :-\ )
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on April 15, 2008, 02:57:27 PM
Yes Z  and I apologize for not giving you author credit on that, but it was an impulsive post!

It's a great statement BTW!


 ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Kazimer on April 15, 2008, 03:31:59 PM


I am going with the quote from the Austin Powers movie....

Govt clerk : Name ?
AP :     Austin Danger Powers.

Govt Clerk: Sex ?
AP :    Yes please !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 06:54:23 PM
LOL Kaz..
Do I make you randy baby, do I ??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Kazimer on April 15, 2008, 08:00:38 PM
LOL Kaz..
Do I make you randy baby, do I ??

Oh Behave!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Kazimer on April 15, 2008, 08:09:53 PM
LOL Kaz..
Do I make you randy baby, do I ??

I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on April 15, 2008, 08:11:05 PM
I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing!


I'm digging the movie quotes! Always makes me smile!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Kazimer on April 15, 2008, 08:27:19 PM
I'm digging the movie quotes! Always makes me smile!

Groovy, baby.  8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 09:59:20 PM
Kaz, I always behave ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 10:17:35 PM
Kaz, I always behave ;) ;) ;)

Except when your bad!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 10:18:41 PM
And how would you know Farmer!?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 10:19:01 PM
And how would you know Farmer!?

The video doesn't lie   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 10:20:21 PM
Hmm
I must have had a little too much tequila that one night..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 10:27:50 PM
Hmm
I must have had a little too much tequila that one night..

Wait I just looked again and I am not sure it's you...   I hate when that happens...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 10:29:04 PM
LOL yeah me too.
I must be pretty forgettable ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 10:34:14 PM
LOL yeah me too.
I must be pretty forgettable ;)

Nope, never saw a face!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 15, 2008, 10:36:03 PM
Must have been really dark in there..
Weird!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 15, 2008, 11:01:42 PM
Must have been really dark in there..
Weird!

I know my way around in the dark just fine!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 11:14:26 AM
You know what would look good on you?
Me!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 16, 2008, 12:12:51 PM
Hmm... are you sure?  I am dressed pretty nice today!   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 12:15:37 PM
Hmm... are you sure?  I am dressed pretty nice today!   ;)


Oh, I'm sure.
I'm much better than any clothes you are wearing!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 16, 2008, 12:18:23 PM
My clothes are soft and feel really good on my skin.... Do you?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 12:18:56 PM
Possibly...
Wanna find out?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 16, 2008, 12:20:19 PM
Possibly...
Wanna find out?

Why not... sounds good to me..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 12:23:00 PM
Sweet..
What ya doin later?  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 16, 2008, 12:43:55 PM
Sweet..
What ya doin later?  ;)

Don't know... You?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 12:45:55 PM
 ;)
If you're lucky!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on April 16, 2008, 12:47:27 PM
;)
If you're lucky!

Oh my!!




 ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 16, 2008, 12:48:07 PM
 :-X

I am not sayin a word!

Don't want to mess that up!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 16, 2008, 12:50:07 PM
:-X

I am not sayin a word!

Don't want to mess that up!


LOL
You just wait!  ;) :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 21, 2008, 12:23:08 PM

LOL
You just wait!  ;) :D

I'm still waiting......> This is getting boring?  I am all alone with my thoughts..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 21, 2008, 12:27:16 PM
I'm still waiting......> This is getting boring?  I am all alone with my thoughts..


Hmmm..
One day I may just shock you!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 21, 2008, 12:28:48 PM
I'm still waiting......> This is getting boring?  I am all alone with my thoughts..




PM me your thoughts ..... I wanna hear ..... I keep secrets really well!  come on just whisper them to me.......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on April 21, 2008, 01:50:08 PM



PM me your thoughts ..... I wanna hear ..... I keep secrets really well!  come on just whisper them to me.......

Uh oh...trouble in River City... :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 22, 2008, 01:12:30 PM
Nope.. Nevermind... My head is empty once again!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 22, 2008, 01:14:28 PM
I thought that was an everyday thing for you Farmer...??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on April 22, 2008, 02:16:27 PM
I thought that was an everyday thing for you Farmer...??

What?

That his head is always empty?  LOL!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 23, 2008, 12:38:26 PM
I thought that was an everyday thing for you Farmer...??

No, I have other things that I do everyday!    :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 23, 2008, 12:58:11 PM
Pray tell...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 23, 2008, 01:04:25 PM
Pray tell...




oh dear bethany.....what have you asked for ~ what have you asked for   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 23, 2008, 09:22:22 PM
Ok well first I get up and drink coffee... Gotta have that..

Then I go to work and pretend to be working..

Then I walk around and flirt with the girls..

Then I go get some jolly ranchers and chex mix.. they go good together.. wash it down with a nice cold buttermilk... MMM MMM Good..

Then I take a nap...

Wake up and repeat!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 23, 2008, 09:24:23 PM
Then I go get some jolly ranchers and chex mix.. they go good together.. wash it down with a nice cold buttermilk... MMM MMM Good..




insert the vomitting guy here.......
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 23, 2008, 09:32:53 PM
Ok well first I get up and drink coffee... Gotta have that..

Then I go to work and pretend to be working..

Then I walk around and flirt with the girls..

Then I go get some jolly ranchers and chex mix.. they go good together.. wash it down with a nice cold buttermilk... MMM MMM Good..

Then I take a nap...

Wake up and repeat!



Ew
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 23, 2008, 10:37:36 PM
Oh I forgot to add..

Think about sex at least once every 90 seconds..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on April 24, 2008, 08:16:32 AM
Oh I forgot to add..

Think about sex at least once every 90 seconds..

90 seconds??

Oh, come on, Ted.  Be honest.

With me it's every 30 seconds. at least!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on April 24, 2008, 08:45:45 AM

Hmmm..
One day I may just shock you!
Well, tell ME, too!!!!! I need some juicy dishing!! Gets boring being a good girl!!  ;)  I want to live vicariously through you, Bethany!!  :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 24, 2008, 10:00:54 AM
Well, tell ME, too!!!!! I need some juicy dishing!! Gets boring being a good girl!!  ;)  I want to live vicariously through you, Bethany!!  :D ;)



Hehehe...
Oh MM, you would be surprised ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on April 24, 2008, 12:05:46 PM


Hehehe...
Oh MM, you would be surprised ;) ;)


Would I be surprised Bethany? ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 24, 2008, 12:10:13 PM
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't'
and 'stop'...................................................unless they are used together.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on April 24, 2008, 12:11:52 PM
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't'
and 'stop'...................................................unless they are used together.  ;D

LOL so true Fry!!!  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 24, 2008, 12:16:52 PM
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.
That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of  my life. I love you.” Then we made love all night long.
   
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
   
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Batman?”
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 24, 2008, 12:25:51 PM
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.
That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of  my life. I love you.” Then we made love all night long.
   
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
   
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Batman?”





now thats funny!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 24, 2008, 12:29:25 PM
90 seconds??

Oh, come on, Ted.  Be honest.

With me it's every 30 seconds. at least!!!

To be totally honest with you Live, although I find you to be an attractive man, I have never had thoughts of sex WITH YOU!!   :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 24, 2008, 12:32:53 PM


Hehehe...
Oh MM, you would be surprised ;) ;)


But would I?

What do you like again for Breakfast?     :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 24, 2008, 02:24:37 PM
Would I be surprised Bethany? ;D



Maybe!



But would I?

What do you like again for Breakfast?     :o



Pancakes!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on April 24, 2008, 03:00:22 PM
What you need is a little vroom-vroom... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on April 24, 2008, 08:58:42 PM
So much time...........
So little SEX :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on April 24, 2008, 08:59:01 PM
So much time...........
So little SEX :(

Awwwwwwwww  :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on April 25, 2008, 04:00:23 PM
So I'm curious...what are everyones kinks?  I know I've got a few and some of you have a real strong idea of what I like....I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on April 26, 2008, 03:04:27 PM
So I'm curious...what are everyones kinks?  I know I've got a few and some of you have a real strong idea of what I like....I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.....

My 'kinks' involve vast amounts of peanuts, whipped cream and hydraulic oil.  ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on April 26, 2008, 03:05:41 PM
My 'kinks' involve vast amounts of peanuts, whipped cream and hydraulic oil.  ;D



I'm more of a 90W guy myself. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on April 26, 2008, 03:11:47 PM
So I'm curious...what are everyones kinks?  I know I've got a few and some of you have a real strong idea of what I like....I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.....

After repelling, sometimes I get leg kinks...does that count? ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 27, 2008, 12:44:16 AM
(http://www.nogw.com/images/bush_condoms.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: monroedude on April 27, 2008, 12:56:08 AM
([url]http://www.nogw.com/images/bush_condoms.jpg[/url])
I've about had enough of everybody bashing our president of our fine country.  He will go down as one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history.  He has protected everybodys a$ses for the last eight years and all anybody does is bash him.  We are in Iraq to protect this country from terrorism.  Have any more buildings been attacked since 9/11? I think not
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 27, 2008, 11:56:09 AM
your friend fry is going to be disappointed when he reads this lol


be good be cool  8)


Everyone is entitled to their opinion…..I only hope I can influence him with this realization image……
(http://www.jonco48.com/blog/zero_20bill.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on April 27, 2008, 01:05:59 PM
Everyone is entitled to their opinion…..I only hope I can influence him with this realization image……
([url]http://www.jonco48.com/blog/zero_20bill.jpg[/url])


When one is fried...the brain doesn't work right... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 29, 2008, 11:45:52 AM
Griff,
Somehow I’ve always associated you with the “Take a bite out of crime” dog but I’ve just discovered that the name was McGruff.

In my minds eye, I envisioned you as the bearded guy from Cheech and Chong…..am I close?
(http://image.listen.com/img/356x237/0/8/1/7/737180_356x237.jpg)


**Adults only**This old “Up in smoke” video contains crude language and other undesirable stuff which is why I placed it in the sex category….young folks have no business here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--gK-K01tzc


Make love, not war.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Griff on April 29, 2008, 11:57:00 AM
Griff,
Somehow I’ve always associated you with the “Take a bite out of crime” dog but I’ve just discovered that the name was McGruff.

In my minds eye, I envisioned you as the bearded guy from Cheech and Chong…..am I close?
([url]http://image.listen.com/img/356x237/0/8/1/7/737180_356x237.jpg[/url])


**Adults only**This old “Up in smoke” video contains crude language and other undesirable stuff which is why I placed it in the sex category….young folks have no business here.
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--gK-K01tzc[/url]


Make love, not war.



That is not how I view myself.

I see me more like the character that Mel Gibson played... William Wallace.

peace
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 29, 2008, 12:01:26 PM
Well I guess you could really use one of those time machines  :D

(http://www.gems.scot.info/graphics/braveheart.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Griff on April 29, 2008, 12:10:23 PM
Well I guess you could really use one of those time machines  :D

([url]http://www.gems.scot.info/graphics/braveheart.jpg[/url])


That's it... except without the swarthy good looks and the need of a bath.

peace
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on April 29, 2008, 12:11:15 PM
That's it... except without the swarthy good looks and the need of a bath.

peace
:D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 29, 2008, 12:21:08 PM
I just couldn’t place this in the joke section…………….

This man about to buy a donkey takes out his money, and the donkey eats it. Thus...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3540/H_3540_22.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on April 29, 2008, 07:40:21 PM
Note to self... Always sleep in a tent!

(http://www.welaf.com/resources/200706/pic/1182563732.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on April 29, 2008, 07:42:52 PM
LOL tiny..
nice one!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on April 29, 2008, 07:44:10 PM
Oh my gosh!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on April 29, 2008, 08:36:32 PM
Note to self... Always sleep in a tent!

([url]http://www.welaf.com/resources/200706/pic/1182563732.jpg[/url])



It's a great way to attract the ladies...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on April 29, 2008, 08:37:34 PM

It's a great way to attract the ladies...

Good point  :D :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on April 29, 2008, 08:39:23 PM
Good point  :D :o




MG - you made an inny......(you know good POINT.....lol)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on April 29, 2008, 08:40:25 PM



MG - you made an inny......(you know good POINT.....lol)

And you made me LAUGH, cc!!!!  :D  :-* Silly me!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on April 30, 2008, 05:59:46 AM
The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. 

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. 

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that !

(http://pimpedfiction.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/condom.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on April 30, 2008, 01:36:18 PM
I've about had enough of everybody bashing our president of our fine country.  He will go down as one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history.  He has protected everybodys a$ses for the last eight years and all anybody does is bash him.  We are in Iraq to protect this country from terrorism.  Have any more buildings been attacked since 9/11? I think not

LMAO!!

Yup fighting them there....

Want to talk about the Bush retirement fund?  Look at gas prices!  How many gallons fill up your short bus?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on April 30, 2008, 06:09:48 PM
I've about had enough of everybody bashing our president of our fine country.  He will go down as one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history.  He has protected everybodys a$ses for the last eight years and all anybody does is bash him.  We are in Iraq to protect this country from terrorism.  Have any more buildings been attacked since 9/11? I think not

Well at least our buildings are now safe since Bush is president. He didn't protect the 4000 military people killed in Iraq.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 01, 2008, 10:01:59 AM
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3540/H_3540_40.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on May 04, 2008, 06:56:08 PM
So I'm wondering if I've shocked anyone lately?  ;) :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on May 04, 2008, 06:58:14 PM
So I'm wondering if I've shocked anyone lately?  ;) :D



well......... ummmm yeah........   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on May 04, 2008, 07:00:10 PM


well......... ummmm yeah........   :o


Hehe..you just wait.
I will have MORE shocking stuff..
Maybe in a couple weeks ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on May 04, 2008, 07:01:16 PM

Hehe..you just wait.
I will have MORE shocking stuff..
Maybe in a couple weeks ;) ;)



Oh girl - slow down...... dont shock us all at once.......to quote you....dang!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 05, 2008, 11:59:20 AM
You can say this one to yourself at home...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3545/H_3545_22.jpg)
I think they're trying to say "fur," but I'm not going to try it.
(I thought they really may have meant "fox")
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on May 12, 2008, 03:56:13 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmm...fake fur.....competition for leopards?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 16, 2008, 10:47:26 AM
This woman has got a great set...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_38.jpg)
...of knees!

Here's an ad for a part-time receptionist...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_40.jpg)
...must enjoy porking with people.

Lease the new 2009 Toyota...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_42.jpg)
...STD! Includes Chlamydia.

I never heard of this kind of dog...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_44.jpg)
It's a Jack Russell Terrorist?

Here's an ad for eye of round roast...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_46.jpg)
You can choose whole, or bonerless! Actually, I would want my roast to be bonerless.

It's a digital...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_50.jpg)
...bitchen timer!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on May 16, 2008, 10:52:16 AM
(http://frenchyssmileys.com/s/laugh.gif)

Ahhh, this is why I missed you, 'Fry!!! Love these!!

That first picture is scary!! At first glance, I thought you'd posted a pic of a nekkid woman with (as my niece so delicately calls them) "sock t*tties"!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on May 17, 2008, 10:07:23 AM
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3550/H_3550_44.jpg)

We just bought one of these a couple of weeks ago and this ad is absolutly correct.
These dogs have two modes...sleep and chew. They chew everything they can get there mouths on, especially people. She's just so darn cute though. They don't walk either, every place they go they run.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 19, 2008, 09:46:44 PM
The first part is great but you may want to stop when the credits roll because the language becomes coarse after that.

If you can stand the occasional foul mouth…..some of it is interesting.

http://submedia.tv/
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 22, 2008, 08:18:03 AM
Here's an ad for a pet store...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_26.jpg)
This doesn't seem like an appropriate ad for the family newspaper!


If you've had enough pain, call these guys...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_32.jpg)
...especially if you belong to the American Ahole Network.

Police Blotter: An individual was driving...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_34.jpg)
...erotically?

A 911 caller reported an individual in a bar...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_36.jpg)
...choking a chicken. A deputy assisted

This pharmacy fits all prescriptions...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_42.jpg)
...especially for suppositories.

I don't even know what this means...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_44.jpg)
Honey, I just lose my appetite every time we go to Pecker's...

If your Mom savors the scent of California rolls...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_48.jpg)
...then this sushi scent is perfect for her. What woman doesn't want to smell like fish?

A mother and daughter were arrested in Southaven...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3555/H_3555_50.jpg)
Guess they thought they had to shorten the name of the town.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Tiny on May 24, 2008, 10:10:54 AM
GETTING OLD
 
   Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
    The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
    The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
    The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
    After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on May 30, 2008, 10:42:52 AM
So just so you all know..
I was reading in Cosmo (hehe)

And it says that 3 minutes is too short, 30 minutes is too long, and 7-10 minutes is just right.
In case anyone was wondering!  :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 30, 2008, 10:47:11 AM
So just so you all know..
I was reading in Cosmo (hehe)

And it says that 3 minutes is too short, 30 minutes is too long, and 7-10 minutes is just right.
In case anyone was wondering!  :D ;)

My wife wouldn’t agree……30 minutes is much too short…….she has me training like an athlete to keep up…….no pun intended.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on May 30, 2008, 10:49:20 AM
My wife wouldn’t agree……30 minutes is much too short…….she has me training like an athlete to keep up…….no pun intended.  ;D


Well that was just on average from the women polled, lol  ;)
I'm sure there are exceptions! 8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on May 30, 2008, 10:52:27 AM
So just so you all know..
I was reading in Cosmo (hehe)

And it says that 3 minutes is too short, 30 minutes is too long, and 7-10 minutes is just right.
In case anyone was wondering!  :D ;)

Ah in my younger years I once went on a marathon for 6 hours (over and over again) until my sister came in and interrupted us by telling me that she got the truck stuck in a corn field.

Now I'd be happy to last 15 minutes.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on May 30, 2008, 10:58:09 AM
My wife wouldn’t agree……30 minutes is much too short…….she has me training like an athlete to keep up…….no pun intended.  ;D
Good gawd!!!! You must have washboard abs and glutes to crack a walnut with!!!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on May 30, 2008, 10:59:20 AM
Ah in my younger years I once went on a marathon for 6 hours (over and over again) until my sister came in and interrupted us by telling me that she got the truck stuck in a corn field.

Another good gawd!!!!!

I sure am glad you put "us" in there...... I was beginning to wonder!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on May 30, 2008, 11:04:34 AM
Another good gawd!!!!!

I sure am glad you put "us" in there...... I was beginning to wonder!  :D

LOL ;)

I'm glad I worded it properly then.

It does bring back memories tho.

It might make you wonder,

Why the hell did she get the truck stuck in the middle of a corn field in the middle of winter?

But that my friends is another story....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on May 30, 2008, 01:09:46 PM
My wife wouldn’t agree……30 minutes is much too short…….she has me training like an athlete to keep up…….no pun intended.  ;D

What happened to two hours bro?


Well that was just on average from the women polled, lol  ;)

Don't you mean the women pole'd  ?   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on May 30, 2008, 01:55:15 PM
One of my favorite movie quotes of all time..

Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on May 30, 2008, 04:03:32 PM
One of my favorite movie quotes of all time..

Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time

"I love lamp!!!"

And

"You stabbed a guy in the chest with a trident"

"I know"

"You should probably lay low for a while until things blow over"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 30, 2008, 06:04:19 PM
What happened to two hours bro?

Don't you mean the women pole'd  ?   ;)

I’m at her mercy……there have been plenty of two hour romps but lately she hasn’t been working me that hard……around an hour give or take.

Its feast or famine……..lately it’s been famine……I’d better tell her it’s use it or lose it time……I mean the conditioning she has me trained up to.

I wouldn’t want to peter out at the wrong time.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on May 30, 2008, 06:05:32 PM
LOL!!!

Fry, you're killin' me over here!!!  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on May 30, 2008, 06:19:25 PM
I’m at her mercy……there have been plenty of two hour romps but lately she hasn’t been working me that hard……around an hour give or take.

Its feast or famine……..lately it’s been famine……I’d better tell her it’s use it or lose it time……I mean the conditioning she has me trained up to.

I wouldn’t want to peter out at the wrong time.  ;D

See, I knew you was an ok guy.

And ya, petering out is bad, hard to get it back into the groove without disturbing the pace. *wink*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DOGWOOD on May 30, 2008, 11:11:55 PM
I DID.... ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 31, 2008, 04:26:21 AM
Fast Sex

 
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office...
But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said,
'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...
'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'

Eddie said,
'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor,
You bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend...
So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says,
'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast.
He won't even be able to get his pants down.'

She agreed and accepts the proposal.




Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.




Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...?


Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
'The bastard had all quarters!'

Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 17, 2008, 10:32:17 PM
Really smooth bump  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 17, 2008, 10:33:05 PM
Really smooth bump  ;)

Way to slip that in there, FF.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on June 17, 2008, 10:36:39 PM
That quarters joke was really funny btw
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 17, 2008, 10:37:46 PM
Black Eye Peas - My Hump
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXKxs8Ge_9g
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on June 17, 2008, 10:45:35 PM
Black Eye Peas - My Hump
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXKxs8Ge_9g[/url]
Love the 'Peas!! I have a "Fun Mix" CD that is almost all BEP.  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on June 17, 2008, 10:49:27 PM
Black Eye Peas - My Hump
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXKxs8Ge_9g[/url]

First time I ever heard of them was on a Sirius Satellite Radio commercial.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 17, 2008, 11:00:50 PM
CNN reports that gas stations as of 6/18/08 will start showing PORN movies on that little screen at the pumps so that you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 17, 2008, 11:01:13 PM
I liked the really smooth bump..
That's hot!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 17, 2008, 11:01:44 PM
CNN reports that gas stations as of 6/18/08 will start showing PORN movies on that little screen at the pumps so that you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time

 :D Hilarious....but oh so true.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 19, 2008, 12:32:57 AM
A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the
> block?'
>
> Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'
>
> 'What's that mean?' asked the child.
>
> 'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
>
> The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk
> around the block?
>
> I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'
>
> Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.'
>
> He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it
> to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash
> and only go one time round the block.'
>
> The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
>
> Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'
>
> (YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )
>
> The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so
> another dog is pushing her home.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 19, 2008, 11:16:58 AM
Oooohhh the dirty jokes.
Gotta love 'em!


So who wants to talk about sex now?  :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lusabeth on June 20, 2008, 05:53:03 PM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P


Normal here.  And I was looking forward to something juicy to read.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 06:06:59 PM


Remember when this thread was the biggest thread MT had ever seen?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on June 20, 2008, 06:27:05 PM

Remember when this thread was the biggest thread MT had ever seen?

Difficult to believe so many have lost interest in such an interesting subject ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 06:31:12 PM
Difficult to believe so many have lost interest in such an interesting subject ;) ;) ;)

not everyone........it's still getting bumped up.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on June 20, 2008, 06:35:42 PM
not everyone........it's still getting bumped up.  ;)

Probably part my fault...   

I haven't been here lately to give it the support it deserves...   

I hope my wife doesn't feel the same way ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 06:37:39 PM
Probably part my fault...   

I haven't been here lately to give it the support it deserves...   

I hope my wife doesn't feel the same way ;D ;D ;D

We won't tell her dawg!

Glad to see you around here more often, no matter which thread it is.  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on June 20, 2008, 06:48:42 PM
We won't tell her dawg!

Glad to see you around here more often, no matter which thread it is.  :)

Looks like my work might be slowing down a little...  but wife goes on vacation in another week for two weeks and we'e going to hang close to home and do some work around here...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 06:49:12 PM
Liven it up Rivers..
You hunka, hunka burnin love!  :-* ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on June 20, 2008, 06:50:46 PM
Looks like my work might be slowing down a little...  but wife goes on vacation in another week for two weeks and we'e going to hang close to home and do some work around here...

ah, the infamous HONEY-DO list, Dawg....... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 06:51:48 PM
Liven it up Rivers..
You hunka, hunka burnin love!  :-* ;)

bethany, I keep trying to think but nuthin's happenin!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on June 20, 2008, 06:58:02 PM
You guys need to stay on topic, here!! Where's the SEX?!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 06:59:50 PM
You guys need to stay on topic, here!! Where's the SEX?!

I have an answer for your question, but I can't post it here..........LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on June 20, 2008, 07:00:47 PM
I Googled "interesting sex facts" and here's one:

Largest penis in the Animal Kindom belongs to the Blue Whale: 11 Feet

That'll take the spring outta your step, eh fellas?  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on June 20, 2008, 07:03:06 PM
'Nother one:

Foods that are believed to be aphrodisiacs: Oysters, lean meats, seafood, whole grains, wheat germ.


I'd *have* to add chocolate!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:04:00 PM

11 feet!!?? Glad I am not a whale!!!  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on June 20, 2008, 07:04:45 PM
I Googled "interesting sex facts" and here's one:

Largest penis in the Animal Kindom belongs to the Blue Whale: 11 Feet

That'll take the spring outta your step, eh fellas?  :D

I would have guessed sperm whale. ;) :o :o ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 20, 2008, 07:06:44 PM
I Googled "interesting sex facts" and here's one:

Largest penis in the Animal Kindom belongs to the Blue Whale: 11 Feet

That'll take the spring outta your step, eh fellas?  :D

OMG!! WOW lol.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:07:34 PM
Speaking of sex, has anyone seen the commercial for KY's new 'yours' and 'mine' lube?  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:14:47 PM
BTW, the ad on this page says "What animal are you?"  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:17:23 PM
BTW, the ad on this page says "What animal are you?"  :D :D

now that could get some guy responses going!  :D  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on June 20, 2008, 07:18:11 PM
BTW, the ad on this page says "What animal are you?"  :D :D

Blue Whale. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:18:54 PM
Blue Whale. ;D ;D ;D ;D

OMG!! I should have seen that coming! LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 20, 2008, 07:19:15 PM
Blue Whale. ;D ;D ;D ;D

I should have known LMAO!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:20:18 PM
I prefer Tiger.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:21:26 PM
I prefer Tiger.  ;)

you are a tiger, or you prefer a tiger?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:24:39 PM
you are a tiger, or you prefer a tiger?


It's a mystery rivers.. hehehe.

Look here's another fact, just for MM!  ;)

According to recent surveys, the man is the most likely partner to be tied up during sex
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on June 20, 2008, 07:28:02 PM

It's a mystery rivers.. hehehe.

Look here's another fact, just for MM!  ;)

According to recent surveys, the man is the most likely partner to be tied up during sex

I prefer natural fibers. ;) :o :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on June 20, 2008, 07:32:24 PM
chains??
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on June 20, 2008, 07:34:06 PM
chains??

Only on tires. ;) :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 20, 2008, 07:35:59 PM
chains??

Handcuffs?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Bedfordres on June 20, 2008, 07:40:00 PM
Speaking of sex, did anyone see the news about the high school girls from a small town in Mass?  A majority of them made a pact to get pregnant.  So far 17 are pregnant and the other close to 100 were dissappointed so the story goes.  The school provides a day nursery.  What are they thinking?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on June 20, 2008, 07:41:12 PM
Speaking of sex, did anyone see the news about the high school girls from a small town in Mass?  A majority of them made a pact to get pregnant.  So far 17 are pregnant and the other close to 100 were dissappointed so the story goes.  The school provides a day nursery.  What are they thinking?

I did hear about that today. Unbelievable! I also heard on the news that many of the girls got pregnant by a homeless man.  ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:41:59 PM
Speaking of sex, did anyone see the news about the high school girls from a small town in Mass?  A majority of them made a pact to get pregnant.  So far 17 are pregnant and the other close to 100 were dissappointed so the story goes.  The school provides a day nursery.  What are they thinking?


Obviously they aren't  thinking...........
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:42:08 PM
Apparently those girls wanted someone to love them unconditionally.
That's what I heard on the news anyway.

What are they thinking? Who knows! People need to know that having a baby is difficult and not just someone to love you. Making pacts to get pregnant is kind of like the boys making pacts to lose their virginity, isn't it?  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on June 20, 2008, 07:43:43 PM
Apparently those girls wanted someone to love them unconditionally.
That's what I heard on the news anyway.

What are they thinking? Who knows! People need to know that having a baby is difficult and not just someone to love you. Making pacts to get pregnant is kind of like the boys making pacts to lose their virginity, isn't it?  ;)

That is really sad.  :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 20, 2008, 07:46:20 PM
That is really sad.  :(


I agree.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeMom on June 20, 2008, 08:35:02 PM
you are a tiger, or you prefer a tiger?
I am tiger!! Roarrrrrrrr!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on June 20, 2008, 08:37:49 PM
Apparently those girls wanted someone to love them unconditionally.
That's what I heard on the news anyway.

What are they thinking? Who knows! People need to know that having a baby is difficult and not just someone to love you. Making pacts to get pregnant is kind of like the boys making pacts to lose their virginity, isn't it?  ;)

The "end result" is often the same bethany6788 :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on June 20, 2008, 10:11:20 PM
Speaking of sex, did anyone see the news about the high school girls from a small town in Mass?  A majority of them made a pact to get pregnant.  So far 17 are pregnant and the other close to 100 were dissappointed so the story goes.  The school provides a day nursery.  What are they thinking?

extra tax money and child support! Our economy has gotten that bad. I mean, the girls know their parents will basically be raising the kids, they get an extra grand (or whatever) in tax money, and the dads are probably over 18 and liable. If I were a 17 year old girl, I'd do it too! I bet I could make more selling it on the black market, though.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on June 21, 2008, 03:11:35 PM
Nice, m0x...very nice..  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on June 21, 2008, 04:43:23 PM
Handcuffs?

Well like the old saying goes:

Sticks and stones,
May break my bones,
But whips and chains excite me! LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 01, 2008, 09:03:21 AM
Make your prom a night to remember with laser hair removal...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3565/H_3565_34.jpg)
What high school do these guys go to?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 03, 2008, 12:22:03 AM
Make your prom a night to remember with laser hair removal...
([url]http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3565/H_3565_34.jpg[/url])
What high school do these guys go to?


I like the "Bring a friend and receive a $225 value area" on the left side of that photo ad. LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 03, 2008, 09:10:45 PM
The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the good news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation.

After some thought, the pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions." The cardinals were amazed, and there was quite an uproar. Suddenly a single voice was heard over the top of the noise: "And what are the four conditions?"

The room stilled. There was a long pause. The pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex. "Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex. And third she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one."

After another long pause another voice asked, "And the fourth condition?"

The pope replied, "Big hooters."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 08, 2008, 12:23:12 PM
Position Secrets for a Faster Orgasm Every Time

http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,s23v,00.html

Not for the faint of heart.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 08, 2008, 12:26:33 PM
Also "good" reading

10 Things Good Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars

http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,9x7nhpjx-3,00.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on July 08, 2008, 03:27:27 PM
There's lots of good reading on that site Lethl.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 08, 2008, 03:42:16 PM
There's lots of good reading on that site Lethl.  ;D

Damn Straight!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on July 08, 2008, 10:39:30 PM
So is there anything else anyone would like to share? Lethl, I know you had a burning question on your brain..

Oh wait, here's one!
1. Missionary
2. Girl on top
3. Other

What position do you usually use?  :P :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 08, 2008, 11:05:47 PM
So is there anything else anyone would like to share? Lethl, I know you had a burning question on your brain..

Oh wait, here's one!
1. Missionary
2. Girl on top
3. Other

What position do you usually use?  :P :D

That's right, I told you I wasn't going to start it but you would be more than welcome to. LOL ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Sojourner on July 09, 2008, 10:29:22 AM
Thanks to the Adminstration for (deleting) taking care of that perverted post with my name in it.  :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 10, 2008, 12:59:23 AM
Here's an envelope I didn't want to open...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3580/H_3580_44.jpg)
...I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested in looking at the parts list.


This newly married couple enjoyed a traditional Hawaiian ceremony...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3580/H_3580_48.jpg)
...which seems to have involved the thing you'd least suspect.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ChadB on July 10, 2008, 01:55:34 AM
I don't find this thread to be offensive at all. Titillating, yes, offensive, no.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 10, 2008, 11:23:26 AM
HER DIARY:
 
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.  We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
 
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior
I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent.
 
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep –
 
I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
 
 
 
HIS DIARY:
 
Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on July 10, 2008, 11:31:29 AM
yes please...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on July 10, 2008, 11:58:21 AM
yes please...

NOT WITH ME YOU DON'T!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AngelaK on July 10, 2008, 12:00:48 PM
HER DIARY:
 
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.  We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
 
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior
I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent.
 
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep –
 
I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
 
 
 
HIS DIARY:
 
Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

That was so cute!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AngelaK on July 10, 2008, 12:01:44 PM
I don't find this thread to be offensive at all. Titillating, yes, offensive, no.

Well than we are not doing a good enough job  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on July 10, 2008, 12:06:00 PM
NOT WITH ME YOU DON'T!



(http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif)


Well, I sure wasn't thinking of you... :P
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on July 10, 2008, 12:07:23 PM
Good thing Z...
Sex with the farmer is a scary thought!!  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on July 10, 2008, 12:09:16 PM
Good thing Z...
Sex with the farmer is a scary thought!!  :o

I promise to leave the pitchfork outside..
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on July 10, 2008, 05:38:19 PM
I promise to leave the pitchfork outside..




Or you don't have to..
 ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Diesel Dave on July 11, 2008, 05:51:36 PM



Or you don't have to..
 ;)

I didn't know that you were into props Bethanny. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on July 11, 2008, 06:39:40 PM
I promise to leave the pitchfork outside..

It may not be there when you go back for it. ;) :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on July 11, 2008, 07:55:26 PM
I didn't know that you were into props Bethanny. ;D

Sticks and stones may break her bones but whips and chains excite her....that and pitchforks.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on July 15, 2008, 06:22:09 AM
([url]http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/images/churchsigns/Sex_and_Church.jpg[/url])

.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 15, 2008, 07:53:37 AM
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
    An impressive new book.  It's called .........
   'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
 
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
    And be Mary.
 
3. The difference between the Pope and
    Your boss, the Pope only expects you
    To kiss his ring.
 
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
    Flash and it is gone.
 
5. The only time the world beats a path to
    Your door is if you're in the bathroom.
 
 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.
    The seat folded up, the drink spilled and
    That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
 
7. It used to be only death and taxes
    Now, of course, there's
    shipping and handling, too.
     
8.. A husband is someone who, after taking
     the trash out, gives the impression that
     he just cleaned the whole house.
 
9 My next house will have no kitchen - just
    Vending machines and a large trash can.
 
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my
      Mechanic might try to rip me off.
      I was relieved when he told me all
      I needed was turn signal fluid.'
 
11. Definition of a teenager?
     God's punishment...for enjoying sex. 
       
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may
     The splinters never point the wrong way
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 16, 2008, 12:03:16 AM
    Sex  In The Shower

 
In a recent survey, people from Detroit proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!


In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Brut', a huge 86% of Detroit residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

 
The other 14% said they had never been to prison  .....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 18, 2008, 12:18:06 AM
(http://www.marriedtothesea.com/022107/standards-of-decency.gif)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigBoxOPorn on July 22, 2008, 05:12:22 PM
Why is this thread idle?
Who here doesn't like sex?  Nevermind, I think there may be one of two of you who swore off sex and anything resembling it.
Where are these young hotties I have heard so much about?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 27, 2008, 09:49:52 AM
Your sex gene...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3585/H_3585_48.jpg)
...also builds your bone!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 27, 2008, 09:51:31 PM
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the h*ll happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 27, 2008, 10:08:46 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/010102010209010311200807262de7986b30ac50bec800bb04.jpg)

Hedonistic brain  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 28, 2008, 10:49:58 PM
(http://i21.tinypic.com/2guigw0.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 28, 2008, 10:55:03 PM
(http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/1600/1188757632284nu1.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ChadB on July 28, 2008, 11:10:09 PM
([url]http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/1600/1188757632284nu1.jpg[/url])


http://www.gafsociety.org/fest.htm (http://www.gafsociety.org/fest.htm)

See plenty of both there!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lady Arbella on July 28, 2008, 11:20:48 PM
Those girls are not going to stay itty bitty for very long drinking brewskies that size..... :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ChadB on July 28, 2008, 11:21:48 PM
Those girls are not going to stay itty bitty for very long drinking brewskies that size..... :D :D

I'm thinking the same thing.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on July 30, 2008, 01:23:06 PM
Those girls are not going to stay itty bitty for very long drinking brewskies that size..... :D :D

Oh don't worry about that.. First we can pour some of it right down the front of them... Then we can drink the rest and excercise it right off of them.. 

I want the blonde on the right!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on July 30, 2008, 06:04:07 PM
Oh don't worry about that.. First we can pour some of it right down the front of them... Then we can drink the rest and excercise it right off of them.. 

I want the blonde on the right!  ;)

Me too. LOL

Hell I think I know a few women that would go bi bi for the night to be with that one. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on July 30, 2008, 07:14:48 PM
([url]http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/1600/1188757632284nu1.jpg[/url])


I spent 15 months in Germany in the Army when I was 20-21 yrs old.  This photo is exactly what I remember.  At the time I do not believe there was a minimum drinking age although I believe now it is something like 16.  I would bet these girls are well shy of their 18th birthday ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 30, 2008, 11:01:17 PM
(http://badwraps.phpwebhosting.com/stickerheads/images/UNION.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 30, 2008, 11:29:55 PM
Confucius Say

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch *** should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Mrs.S on July 30, 2008, 11:38:39 PM
OMG, FF those are friggin hilarious. :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 31, 2008, 11:29:26 PM

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew -gems in the rough all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks,and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I've been working with a crew building a house all week".

"My goodness gracious", said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week too"?

"I will if those useless c*cksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the f*cking bricks", replied the little girl
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ChadB on July 31, 2008, 11:35:19 PM
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew -gems in the rough all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks,and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I've been working with a crew building a house all week".

"My goodness gracious", said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week too"?

"I will if those useless c*cksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the f*cking bricks", replied the little girl

LOL ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 04, 2008, 01:00:49 AM
As I lay on my bed, thinking about you,
I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you,
because I can't forget last night.

You came to me while my eyes were closed, unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...

you sensed my indifference, so you started to bite my body without any guilt or
humiliation, and you drove me crazy while you slowly sucked me dry.

Finally I went to sleep.

Today when I woke up, you were gone.

I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights events. My body still shows your marks, making it harder to forget you.

Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you....you f*cking
mosquito
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 05, 2008, 06:17:24 AM
Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines

I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the h*ll outta me.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Are those real?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 08, 2008, 05:21:53 AM
He Said She Said

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants, don't you?

She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'.
She said... 'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'

On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere.."
Written just below it: "I do not."

He said... "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said... "That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "

Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
She said... "Who's gonna look? "

He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said... Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.

He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said... I would, but you're never there.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 18, 2008, 03:23:54 PM
Q. What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist? A:
A genealogist looks up the family tree. A gynecologist looks up the
family bush.

Q: What do you call two skunks doing a 69?
A: Odor eaters!

Q: What do Disney World & VIAGRA have in common?
A: They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A: A pick pocket snatches watches. A peeping Tom watches snatches.

Q: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

Q: Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or
redhead?
A: The blonde-she's eighteen.

Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock knock jokes?
A: Because they go and answer the door.

Q: Why don't Baptists make love standing up?
A: Because it might lead to dancing.

Q: What is the difference between women and computers?
A: A women will not take a 3.25 inch floppy.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go, they take
your house and car with them.

Q: What do you call a man who expects sex on the second date?
A: Slow

Q: What's the difference between Pee Wee Herman and OJ?
A: It only took twelve jerks to get OJ off.

Q: What do you call it when a women talks dirty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute

Q: What is the definition of nothing?
A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his
nose.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 20, 2008, 09:37:42 AM
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.  He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
   
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her . . . you know the kind.
   
He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
   
'Hello?' the woman says.
   
God, she sounded sexy .
   
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.  I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. 
I want it rough, I want it hot, and I want it now. 
I'm talking kinky the whole night long.  You name it, we'll do it, and I'm on an expense account so money doesn't mean anything.
Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night.   
Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby.
Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, Sir, but for an outside line you need to dial 9'.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 02, 2008, 01:03:43 PM
Hey hey!!!

It's about time the sex topic reaches page 69!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 02, 2008, 05:49:59 PM
Hey hey!!!

It's about time the sex topic reaches page 69!!!

It was a long time, ummm, coming? ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 02, 2008, 06:34:18 PM
It was a long time, ummm, coming? ;)

Yes, considering how popular it was for a while.  I guess everybody just got tired or bored with it ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo on September 02, 2008, 06:35:54 PM
Yes, considering how popular it was for a while.  I guess everybody just got tired or bored with it ;D ;D ;D
We got preached at, reported, and censored. At least, that's how I recall what happened....
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 02, 2008, 06:43:21 PM
We got preached at, reported, and censored. At least, that's how I recall what happened....

Oh yeah...  now I remember...

We had to take it back to the privacy of our own bedroom...

living room...

den...

dining room...

kitchen...

office...

car...

truck...

sorry if I missed anyplace *:) *:) *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 02, 2008, 06:45:36 PM
Oh yeah...  now I remember...

We had to take it back to the privacy of our own bedroom...

living room...

den...

dining room...

kitchen...

office...

car...

truck...

sorry if I missed anyplace *:) *:) *:)

Barn?  ;) :o :o :o :o ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo on September 02, 2008, 06:52:50 PM
Oh yeah...  now I remember...

We had to take it back to the privacy of our own bedroom...

living room...

den...

dining room...

kitchen...

office...

car...

truck...

sorry if I missed anyplace *:) *:) *:)

YOWZA!!!   :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on September 02, 2008, 07:16:31 PM
LOL a long time coming.
hahahahahahaha

okay that is all.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 02, 2008, 07:16:45 PM
Oh yeah...  now I remember...

We had to take it back to the privacy of our own bedroom...

living room...

den...

dining room...

kitchen...

office...

car...

truck...

sorry if I missed anyplace *:) *:) *:)

Ferris Wheel, (was only a spectator for this one. ;))

beach, (careful cause sand can hurt)

open field on a blanket, (watch out for bugs)

airplane, (watch out for flight attendants)

tent,

lake, (not advised, can cause chaffing)

oh and on the truck one, best not to do it naked in the middle of winter as your mother might find some interesting foot prints in the morning when the windows are frosted up. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 02, 2008, 07:18:38 PM
Posting in the sex thread: it sounds familiar.

Remember when we used to do it all the time? Boy it was fun! ;) :D :D  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 03, 2008, 07:20:34 AM
Posting in the sex thread: it sounds familiar.

Remember when we used to do it all the time? Boy it was fun! ;) :D :D  ;D

Who know's.........with fry's new voo-doo doll and mine.........maybe fun will return to MT again!

Never under estimate me.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on September 03, 2008, 11:29:36 AM
Pish posh, moderated... if a 13 year old clicks a "Sex" thread and doesn't see anything their parents wouldn't want them to see, I don't think it'd be much of a thread. The waahhbulance has been making pretty frequent stops these days.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo on September 03, 2008, 11:41:18 AM
Pish posh, moderated... if a 13 year old clicks a "Sex" thread and doesn't see anything their parents wouldn't want them to see, I don't think it'd be much of a thread. The waahhbulance has been making pretty frequent stops these days.
Did you get your hand slapped for your "butt" comment??

It's amazing what poison the MT Admins WILL allow on here, and what silly little things they won't.

I'm *not* impressed.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: m0x on September 03, 2008, 12:11:24 PM
Did you get your hand slapped for your "butt" comment??

It's amazing what poison the MT Admins WILL allow on here, and what silly little things they won't.

I'm *not* impressed.

Yeah, I forgot the admins had taken a lot away from this place. My fault for being absent for so long. I'll gladly remove the stick, dear sirs, if you wish it of me.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 12:50:19 PM
Ok, page 70,

Do me and I'll owe you one. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on September 03, 2008, 01:00:16 PM
Did you get your hand slapped for your "butt" comment??

It's amazing what poison the MT Admins WILL allow on here, and what silly little things they won't.

I'm *not* impressed.


I'll say this much for the mods, they walk a thin line and it's not always easy to make everyone happy...I look at it this way, it's either "all" OK, or "none" of it is OK... :-\
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on September 03, 2008, 01:01:45 PM
As for sex, it's been so long I think I've forgotten what the big deal is all about... :P


 :D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:06:45 PM
As for sex, it's been so long I think I've forgotten what the big deal is all about... :P


 :D



I never realized you were married Zard! ;) :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on September 03, 2008, 01:08:41 PM
I never realized you were married Zard! ;) :D



(http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif)

Nope, my life isn't that gloomy yet...LOL

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 01:10:53 PM
I never realized you were married Zard! ;) :D

*gasp* SHEP!!!  :o :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:11:56 PM
*gasp* SHEP!!!  :o :D

 *:) *:) *:) :-*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 03, 2008, 01:12:51 PM
I never realized you were married Zard! ;) :D

LMFAO!!!!

I hear ya, Shep!!!


Oh, and don't anybody knock doing it in the barn....  I can speak from experience - that was f*cking hot!!!

No, don't get the wrong idea - there were NO animals in the barn.  Just machinery.   :D

But, you missed the combine, Dawg.  As long as the cab is big enough for two.....   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 01:13:38 PM
I never realized you were married Zard! ;) :D

*gasp* SHEP!!!  :o :D

LOL, shep is usually the mild mannered guy that you never expect things like that from him.

But when he has a quip, it's always a good one. ;)

I laughed really hard, thanks Shep.  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 01:15:17 PM
*:) *:) *:) :-*

 ;)

LOL, shep is usually the mild mannered guy that you never expect things like that from him.

But when he has a quip, it's always a good one. ;)

I laughed really hard, thanks Shep.  :D

I laughed too. How could you not laugh at that hehe.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 01:16:10 PM
;)

I laughed too. How could you not laugh at that hehe.

Especially if you are, or ever have been married. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:17:31 PM
LMFAO!!!!

I hear ya, Shep!!!


Oh, and don't anybody knock doing it in the barn....  I can speak from experience - that was f*cking hot!!!

No, don't get the wrong idea - there were NO animals in the barn.  Just machinery.   :D

But, you missed the combine, Dawg.  As long as the cab is big enough for two.....   ;D

No animals, just machinery.................................. I'll have to think about that one for a while! ;) ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 01:19:15 PM
No animals, just machinery.................................. I'll have to think about that one for a while! ;) ;D

Ya'll are killing me today  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 03, 2008, 01:23:14 PM
No animals, just machinery.................................. I'll have to think about that one for a while! ;) ;D

Yup!!

I never said what KIND of machinery......    ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:25:56 PM
Yup!!

I never said what KIND of machinery......    ;D


Maybe something like this?

http://www.rittenhouse.ca/asp/product.asp?PG=176
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on September 03, 2008, 01:27:30 PM
Maybe something like this?

[url]http://www.rittenhouse.ca/asp/product.asp?PG=176[/url]



That looks like it could hurt... :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 03, 2008, 01:28:41 PM
Maybe something like this?

[url]http://www.rittenhouse.ca/asp/product.asp?PG=176[/url]


OOOoooooooooooooo.................

I don't have one of those.......

And it's only $65.59!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:29:50 PM
OOOoooooooooooooo.................

I don't have one of those.......

And it's only $65.59!!!!

Not only will I find it, but I'll find it at a bargain. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 01:30:16 PM

That looks like it could hurt... :D

That is exactly what I was thinking  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 03, 2008, 01:31:34 PM

That looks like it could hurt... :D

Pain can be good!   ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 03, 2008, 01:38:46 PM
Pain can be good!   ;)
(barging right in)  But only certain types of pain.  THAT just looks PAINFUL! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 03, 2008, 01:43:44 PM
(barging right in)  But only certain types of pain.  THAT just looks PAINFUL! 

It's just like any other tool, 4x4Mom - it depends on how you use it.   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MtnBear on September 03, 2008, 01:45:26 PM
Maybe something like this?

[url]http://www.rittenhouse.ca/asp/product.asp?PG=176[/url]


wow.....that could be interesting...

as usual...use your tools wisely... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 01:47:15 PM
wow.....that could be interesting...

as usual...use your tools wisely... ;D

Always read the owners manual and never forget the safety glasses. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 03, 2008, 01:51:10 PM
It's just like any other tool, 4x4Mom - it depends on how you use it.   ;D

Hmmm...been a long time since I've used tools...but I DO like a guy who likes to work with his hands.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 01:52:00 PM
Hmmm...been a long time since I've used tools...but I DO like a guy who likes to work with his hands.

Now you're talkin!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AngelaK on September 03, 2008, 01:52:56 PM
Lots of sex talk going on.  Is everyone on MT horny today or what?  :o :o :o :o

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 03, 2008, 01:59:54 PM
Lots of sex talk going on.  Is everyone on MT horny today or what?  :o :o :o :o



Ummm, yeah!  I'm thinkin' yeah.  OK, only speakin' for myself, but...yeah!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 02:01:29 PM
Ummm, yeah!  I'm thinkin' yeah.  OK, only speakin' for myself, but...yeah!

Us guys are, but that's not specific to today. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 03, 2008, 02:03:23 PM
Us guys are, but that's not specific to today. ;)

Definitely not specific to today.  In my case, not specific to the guys, either.  I remember that I've been sent to the corner before.  Hey, it's been so long...someone was supposed to buy me a beer!!   :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 02:27:26 PM
Shep, there once was a study that says, on average, a man has a sexual thought every 7 seconds.



I'm still wondering where they found these sexually repressed men.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: zard0z on September 03, 2008, 02:41:37 PM
Shep, there once was a study that says, on average, a man has a sexual thought every 7 seconds.



I'm still wondering where they found these sexually repressed men.  ;)


In sojo's Bible study group...LOL



Sorry, had to do it, couldn't resist... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 02:43:39 PM
Shep, there once was a study that says, on average, a man has a sexual thought every 7 seconds.



I'm still wondering where they found these sexually repressed men.  ;)

Beats me! ;D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: masc0t on September 03, 2008, 02:50:37 PM
Did you hear this too????? 

I just heard recently that everyone pretty much believes that it is the black man that is the most well hung when actually, it is supposedly the American Indian that has the biggest sausage. 

So please help by telling me what the Indian mating call is!  Is there a sort of dance for this or something? 

I also heard fella's that it's the red heads (women) that are the best in bed.   Sorry, but I'm blonde and I don't agree with this statement AT ALL!!!  I still think blondes have more fun!!!  Nothing intended brunettes, surely don't want to start a riot over this. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AngelaK on September 03, 2008, 03:41:39 PM

In sojo's Bible study group...LOL



Sorry, had to do it, couldn't resist... ;D
[/quote

odd enough, Lummie has his pic as his avatar and he's pretty good lookin.  I'm very surprised.  I always pictured him to look something more like this.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 03, 2008, 04:29:22 PM


Come on peeps, we have to keep this topic alive.  :D  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 05:44:07 PM
Did you hear this too????? 

I just heard recently that everyone pretty much believes that it is the black man that is the most well hung when actually, it is supposedly the American Indian that has the biggest sausage. 

So please help by telling me what the Indian mating call is!  Is there a sort of dance for this or something? 

I also heard fella's that it's the red heads (women) that are the best in bed.   Sorry, but I'm blonde and I don't agree with this statement AT ALL!!!  I still think blondes have more fun!!!  Nothing intended brunettes, surely don't want to start a riot over this. 


I find blonds to taste a bit acidic. Brunettes have always tasted sweeter to me.
Red heads I have found to be either VERY pretty, or pretty ugly, and have yet to taste this wine.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 06:25:48 PM

Come on peeps, we have to keep this topic alive.  :D  ;)

OK rivers ;D ;D ;D

Note to self...

keep bumping the sex thread so that sex remains alive and well in Monroe...

even though some believe it shoud die :( :( :(
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 06:37:09 PM
Maybe live has one of these in his barn! ;) ;D

http://www.ishopconcrete.com/product/Wacker-IRFUN-57-Internal-Vibrator-with-Inverter
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MtnBear on September 03, 2008, 06:42:25 PM
Maybe live has one of these in his barn! ;) ;D

[url]http://www.ishopconcrete.com/product/Wacker-IRFUN-57-Internal-Vibrator-with-Inverter[/url]


LOL  ;D

and always remember safety first when working with power tools... ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 03, 2008, 06:43:40 PM
I find blonds to taste a bit acidic. Brunettes have always tasted sweeter to me.
Red heads I have found to be either VERY pretty, or pretty ugly, and have yet to taste this wine.





Leth   :o      lol  



Maybe live has one of these in his barn! ;) ;D

[url]http://www.ishopconcrete.com/product/Wacker-IRFUN-57-Internal-Vibrator-with-Inverter[/url]





I am not even looking!  I know your humor...and I know lives' humor.......and nope....not looking!  LOL  (and I wont even get into why you mentioned him having some thing in his barn here in the sex thread...... LOL LOL )
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 06:46:22 PM


I am not even looking!  I know your humor...and I know lives' humor.......and nope....not looking!  LOL  (and I wont even get into why you mentioned him having some thing in his barn here in the sex thread...... LOL LOL )

Just read back a few pages. We were having fun today. I never mentioned a sheep even once. :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 06:47:29 PM
Maybe live has one of these in his barn! ;) ;D

[url]http://www.ishopconcrete.com/product/Wacker-IRFUN-57-Internal-Vibrator-with-Inverter[/url]


Wow Shep...  

says it's 1.7 hp, but doesn't say if it's AC or DC *:) *:) *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 06:48:34 PM
Wow Shep...   

says it's 1.7 hp, but doesn't say if it's AC or DC *:) *:) *:)

One way to find out........................................ ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 03, 2008, 06:55:56 PM
Just read back a few pages. We were having fun today. I never mentioned a sheep even once. :o :o


WOW  ya' all had a good time for a little bit today in here huh?  cool -

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 07:00:12 PM

WOW  ya' all had a good time for a little bit today in here huh?  cool -



I've noticed sex is like that sometimes...

things slow down for a while...

then pick right back up for a while...

then slow back down...

then, well, you get the picture ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 03, 2008, 07:02:01 PM
I've noticed sex is like that sometimes...

things slow down for a while...

then pick right back up for a while...

then slow back down...

then, well, you get the picture ;) ;) ;)




bwahahahaha   picture well painted   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:09:04 PM
Wow Shep...   

says it's 1.7 hp, but doesn't say if it's AC or DC *:) *:) *:)

Here's more information than most people need:



    * The Wacker IRFUN 57 Internal Vibrator with Inverter is a reliable concrete vibrator featuring waterproof housing and frequency inverter.
    * Great for foundations, walls, columns and inplant production.
    * Motor: 110 - 130V 12 amp.
    * Vibration Frequency: 12,000 RPM.
    * Vibrator Head Diameter: 2.3".
    * Vibrator Head Length: 15.7".
    * Flex Shaft Length: 18".
    * Power Cord: 49' long.
    * Vibrator Head Voltage: 214V.
    * Electrical currents switch off quickly to avoid accidents.
    * Short circuit proof to avoid accidents.
    * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.
    * 1 year warranty.

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 07:11:07 PM
Here's more information than most people need:



    * The Wacker IRFUN 57 Internal Vibrator with Inverter is a reliable concrete vibrator featuring waterproof housing and frequency inverter.
    * Great for foundations, walls, columns and inplant production.
    * Motor: 110 - 130V 12 amp.
    * Vibration Frequency: 12,000 RPM.
    * Vibrator Head Diameter: 2.3".
    * Vibrator Head Length: 15.7".
    * Flex Shaft Length: 18".

    * Power Cord: 49' long.
    * Vibrator Head Voltage: 214V.
    * Electrical currents switch off quickly to avoid accidents.
    * Short circuit proof to avoid accidents.
    * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.
    * 1 year warranty.



 :D :D :D :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:13:01 PM
:D :D :D :o :o :o

Exactly. ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 03, 2008, 07:14:09 PM
:D :D :D :o :o :o



I couldnt get past 12,000  RPMS.....  LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 07:14:37 PM


I couldnt get past 12,000  RPMS.....  LOL

I just laughed out loud!!!  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:16:17 PM
Don't forget this: * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 07:17:03 PM
Don't forget this: * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.  ;)

I totally read right over that!! How could I miss it? LOL!!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 03, 2008, 07:17:15 PM
I just laughed out loud!!!  :D :D




Well 12,000 is a honkin' HUGE number...... could you even imagine?    :o    Surely not in a minute.....

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 07:22:05 PM
I wonder who came up with the name for this "machine"...

the Wacker IRFun :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:23:14 PM
I wonder who came up with the name for this "machine"...

the Wacker IRFun :D :D :D

I wondered how long it would take until someone else picked up on that.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 07:24:43 PM
I wondered how long it would take until someone else picked up on that.

Apparently I was more concerned with size than with the name!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:25:36 PM
Apparently I was more concerned with size than with the name!  :D

Spoken like a true woman! :o :o :o :o :o ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 07:26:21 PM
Spoken like a true woman! :o :o :o :o :o ;)

Oh shush!!  >:(  ;D :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 07:26:35 PM
Apparently I was more concerned with size than with the name!  :D

and I still haven't figured out if it's AC or DC ;) ;) ;)

Where's livewire when we need him ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 07:26:51 PM



Leth   :o      lol   






I am not even looking!  I know your humor...and I know lives' humor.......and nope....not looking!  LOL  (and I wont even get into why you mentioned him having some thing in his barn here in the sex thread...... LOL LOL )

Hey, sometimes the truth has to be told. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:29:45 PM
and I still haven't figured out if it's AC or DC ;) ;) ;)

Where's livewire when we need him ;) ;) ;)

* Motor: 110 - 130V 12 amp.

You could plug that puppy in right in the house! :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 07:35:19 PM
and I still haven't figured out if it's AC or DC ;) ;) ;)

If it was a really good "Tool" it would go both ways. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 07:36:48 PM
If it was a really good "Tool" it would go both ways. ;)

and since it really doesn't say one way or the other that's what I kind of thought ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 03, 2008, 07:42:19 PM
We just need a couple of more posts and there won't be a single politically motivated subject on the index page...   probably the first time in weeks it's been that way...


HELP   HELP    HELP ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 07:45:18 PM
We just need a couple of more posts and there won't be a single politically motivated subject on the index page...   probably the first time in weeks it's been that way...


HELP   HELP    HELP ;) ;) ;)

Dirty minds and power tools are a good mix. :)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bethany6788 on September 03, 2008, 08:36:59 PM
I <3 dirty minds! ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Lethlweapn on September 03, 2008, 08:37:23 PM
Dirty minds and power tools are a good mix. :)

Dirty minds and ANYTHING are a good mix. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 03, 2008, 08:50:01 PM
There will be a run on concrete tools at the rental places tomorrow. ;) :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 03, 2008, 09:09:22 PM


Shep are you thinking that all the guys will want a whacker?  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MonroeGal on September 03, 2008, 09:11:48 PM

Shep are you thinking that all the guys will want a whacker?  :D

Or that all the girls will want a whack at the whacker  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 04, 2008, 10:22:55 AM
Apparently I was more concerned with size than with the name!  :D

Me, too!!  It's not about the length so much as the girth!!   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 04, 2008, 10:24:56 AM
Or that all the girls will want a whack at the whacker  :D

MG, we seem to think alike!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 05, 2008, 12:38:49 PM
Hmmm...been a long time since I've used tools...but I DO like a guy who likes to work with his hands.

I usually START with my hands...  for about an hour or so... 

Then I use...  uh, well, you get the idea...

Some of these specs aren't too far off, either!!   ;D

* Great for foundations, walls, columns and inplant production.
    * Motor: 110 - 130V 12 amp.  I run on a little higher voltage.
    * Vibration Frequency: 12,000 RPM.
    * Vibrator Head Diameter: 2.3".   Close. 
    * Vibrator Head Length: 15.7".   Actually, about half that. 
    * Flex Shaft Length: 18".   Usually not flexible at all.
    * Power Cord: 49' long. I'm internally powered.   ;D
    * Vibrator Head Voltage: 214V.  Not sure about this one...  I never measured THAT voltage.
    * Electrical currents switch off quickly to avoid accidents.   Not true.  I can't just switch 'off'.  I can switch 'on' pretty easily, though!!
    * Short circuit proof to avoid accidents.  No gaurantee when it comes to accidents!!
    * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.
    * 1 year warranty.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on September 05, 2008, 12:39:47 PM
and I still haven't figured out if it's AC or DC ;) ;) ;)

Where's livewire when we need him ;) ;) ;)

I'm never too far, dawg!!

Who cares whether it's AC or DC??

As long as it does the job!!!   :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: 4x4Mom on September 05, 2008, 02:41:39 PM
I usually START with my hands...  for about an hour or so... 

Then I use...  uh, well, you get the idea...

Some of these specs aren't too far off, either!!   ;D

* Great for foundations, walls, columns and inplant production.
    * Motor: 110 - 130V 12 amp.  I run on a little higher voltage.
    * Vibration Frequency: 12,000 RPM.
    * Vibrator Head Diameter: 2.3".   Close. 
    * Vibrator Head Length: 15.7".   Actually, about half that. 
    * Flex Shaft Length: 18".   Usually not flexible at all.
    * Power Cord: 49' long. I'm internally powered.   ;D
    * Vibrator Head Voltage: 214V.  Not sure about this one...  I never measured THAT voltage.
    * Electrical currents switch off quickly to avoid accidents.   Not true.  I can't just switch 'off'.  I can switch 'on' pretty easily, though!!
    * Short circuit proof to avoid accidents.  No gaurantee when it comes to accidents!!
    * Find matching shafts and heads in the Accessories tab.
    * 1 year warranty.



OOOOOOOHH!  My kinda man!   :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 08, 2008, 11:17:57 PM
A man was hitchhiking and a car stops, the driver asks “are you Republican or Democrat?”

He says democrat and the car speeds off.

Another car stops and asks the same question.

He gives same answer and the car speeds off.

Another car stops and again asks “are you Democrat or Republican?”

He says Republican, the door opens and he gets in.

As the car pulls out he looks at the driver, she is a knock out, just beautiful.

She asks where you going and he yells STOP the car. Stop the car!

She asks why and he replies I've only been a Republican for 15 seconds and I already want to screw somebody.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 09, 2008, 10:34:24 AM
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough Frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike
asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they
make money, etc.


Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for
the night and experience one another. . . Maureen and the male Martian go
off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie
member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.

'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.
With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite
impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his
member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely
exciting to the woman.

'Wow !' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate
ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache. She kept
slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MtnBear on September 09, 2008, 03:55:15 PM
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 10, 2008, 12:26:47 AM
A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 11, 2008, 10:32:46 AM
I'm not familiar with these...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3610/H_3610_28.jpg)
...bonk beds sounds a little obscene.


A chain of grocery stores is taking meat off their shelves...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3610/H_3610_32.jpg)
...I'm not sure if this is the best way to say what they meant.


This man was arrested for...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3610/H_3610_44.jpg)
...pulling meat at the Artful Hand Gallery.


In this ad, someone's trying to sell a pair of cockatoos, which will not separate...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3610/H_3610_40.jpg)
Have you tried turning the hose on them?


Here's a photo of Olympic shooter Matthew Emmons...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3614/H_3614_32.jpg)
...that sounds a lot worse than what actually happened.


Here's something I didn't know about Michael Phelps..
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3614/H_3614_06.jpg)
That third leg give him some sort of rudder effect...


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 11, 2008, 06:12:14 PM
(http://www.fastenerspecialties.com/Jokes/frenchfry.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 11, 2008, 06:20:15 PM
([url]http://www.fastenerspecialties.com/Jokes/frenchfry.jpg[/url])


 :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 12, 2008, 12:08:48 PM
The Angry John McCain Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-ymHdbd_tU

(http://images.craigslist.org/01010001160401030120080911131dfba90e6470329300b6ca.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 14, 2008, 09:12:19 PM
(Just a joke so don't get excited)

PfizerCorp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: MtnBear on September 17, 2008, 07:40:56 AM
CONFIDENCE

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'

'No', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.'

The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'

'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,' he explains.

'What's it telling you now?'

'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...'

The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!'

The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast.'
 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on September 18, 2008, 12:12:42 PM
It's been since April since I got laid.  It's been since march since I got laid properly.  I work 40+ hours a week and I have 9 credit hours.  Shaggy needs some stress relief.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 20, 2008, 07:43:13 PM
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night
with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he
told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have
his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the
payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing
that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his
secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed
note:

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am
not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the
place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque
for $250 with the following note:

" Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to
turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size,
but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not
blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact
your present landlady.


Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 20, 2008, 07:50:02 PM
A beauty indeed, Riv !   :D


I've seen one similar to that one involving a pump...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 20, 2008, 07:58:52 PM
A beauty indeed, Riv !   :D


I've seen one similar to that one involving a pump...

I've seen similar one's too, just trying to keep some smiles on MT.  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 20, 2008, 08:03:43 PM
kewl idea
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 20, 2008, 08:41:54 PM
I wanted to post a picture in the pets other than cats and dogs thread. But none of my sheep are inflated. :(


 :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on September 20, 2008, 08:42:38 PM
Shep! lmao
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: cc on September 20, 2008, 08:44:49 PM
I wanted to post a picture in the pets other than cats and dogs thread. But none of my sheep are inflated. :(


 :D :D :D :D :D



SHEP!    ;D ;D ;D ;D    what a crack up    :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 20, 2008, 08:45:39 PM
I tickled myself too. :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 20, 2008, 09:00:04 PM
A small zoo in Tennessee obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the female, Sheba, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Dr Bubba's nephew, Bobby Lee Walton, a part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Bobby Lee, a good-lo-boy, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition
2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist."
Once again it was agreed.
4. And last, Bobby Lee said "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: monroedude on September 20, 2008, 09:27:07 PM
It's been since April since I got laid.  It's been since march since I got laid properly.  I work 40+ hours a week and I have 9 credit hours.  Shaggy needs some stress relief.
What do you mean by "properly?"
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 24, 2008, 09:29:54 AM
(http://images.craigslist.org/11a1311gcZZZZZZZZZ89o2722d967a44a1a95.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DaisyDuke726 on September 24, 2008, 09:34:54 AM
([url]http://images.craigslist.org/11a1311gcZZZZZZZZZ89o2722d967a44a1a95.jpg[/url])


LOL That is quite funny! This has been an interesting thread as I've read through most of the pages.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on September 24, 2008, 10:48:39 AM
What do you mean by "properly?"

I mean properly.  There are some women out there who don't put equivical effort to mine.  I like someone who will work with me so we both can have more fun.  In other words I hate "dead fish".
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Phoenix on September 24, 2008, 10:50:20 AM
I mean properly.  There are some women out there who don't put equivical effort to mine.  I like someone who will work with me so we both can have more fun.  In other words I hate "dead fish".


What about half dead fish? Flailing around, gasping for breath??  lol... ignore me...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 24, 2008, 10:55:36 AM
LOL That is quite funny! This has been an interesting thread as I've read through most of the pages.

Well DaisyDuke726...   

I would take all the "facts" on this thread with a grain of salt :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on September 24, 2008, 10:57:41 AM

What about half dead fish? Flailing around, gasping for breath??  lol... ignore me...
Snixxxx.... You're a funny girl, Phoenix!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 24, 2008, 10:58:03 AM

What about half dead fish? Flailing around, gasping for breath??  lol... ignore me...

                 :D               ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on September 24, 2008, 11:19:33 AM

What about half dead fish? Flailing around, gasping for breath??  lol... ignore me...

I want reaction and response.  Is that too much to ask for?  I mean it's sex, you're supposed to enjoy yourself.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Phoenix on September 24, 2008, 11:21:14 AM
I want reaction and response.  Is that too much to ask for?  I mean it's sex, you're supposed to enjoy yourself.

Come on, admit that you laughed at my response!!

I also agree with what you're saying... but that's besides the point! What I said was funny!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: coolmod on September 24, 2008, 11:23:04 AM
Somebody with a pulse who yells out the right name.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Phoenix on September 24, 2008, 11:23:58 AM
Somebody with a pulse who yells out the right name.

LOL! that was funny.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on September 24, 2008, 11:24:56 AM
I want reaction and response.  Is that too much to ask for?  I mean it's sex, you're supposed to enjoy yourself.
Ummmm, you might ask yourself what you're doing to inspire such an uninspired reaction and response?

Or perhaps it's time to upgrade the inflatable toys!!  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Phoenix on September 24, 2008, 11:26:13 AM
Ummmm, you might ask yourself what you're doing to inspire such an uninspired reaction and response?

Or perhaps it's time to upgrade the inflatable toys!!  ;D

I can't believe I've never posted on this thread before! This thread is awesome! LOL  :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 24, 2008, 11:26:37 AM
MOM !!!..............er bloo !!!!!!!!    :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on September 24, 2008, 11:29:24 AM
Ummmm, you might ask yourself what you're doing to inspire such an uninspired reaction and response?

Or perhaps it's time to upgrade the inflatable toys!!  ;D

Oh don't get me wrong, I have my bad days but I have an idea when they're coming. When I do feel a bad day coming on I try to avoid having sex.  You have to remember I work QC so I always try to make sure that everything I do is quality work.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on September 24, 2008, 11:32:16 AM
I can't believe I've never posted on this thread before! This thread is awesome! LOL  :D :D

That's just the way this thread goes Phoenix...

some days it's HOT...

some days it's NOT...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on September 24, 2008, 11:34:02 AM
MOM !!!..............er bloo !!!!!!!!    :o
Oh, stop it!!  :D  You're no innocent, Slugger!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 24, 2008, 11:38:39 AM
Oh, stop it!!  :D  You're no innocent, Slugger!!  :D

Whut ?   Huh ?   Excuze me ?

 ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on September 24, 2008, 11:40:43 AM
Some of the behavior on here........... *:) *:) ;) ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 24, 2008, 11:41:38 AM
I'm innocent I tell you....innocent !
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on September 24, 2008, 11:42:43 AM
I'm innocent I tell you....innocent !

 *:)

...not buyin' it...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: utility slug on September 24, 2008, 11:45:35 AM
*:)

...not buyin' it...

Well you're gonna hafta.

INNOCENT, NAIIVE, GREEN, etc etc.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: coolmod on September 24, 2008, 11:49:16 AM
I used to date a girl who majored in business and minored in psychcology. For 50 bucks she'd blow your mind.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on September 24, 2008, 02:13:26 PM
Why is this thread idle?
Who here doesn't like sex?  Nevermind, I think there may be one of two of you who swore off sex and anything resembling it.
Where are these young hotties I have heard so much about?

Try the rest area on I-75.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 28, 2008, 10:09:51 PM
great day to whoop somebody's azz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzU9FgNTYrU
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: The Phoenix on September 29, 2008, 11:30:01 AM
great day to whoop somebody's azz
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzU9FgNTYrU[/url]


That's one of my favorite songs ever. My dad blasts this all the time.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 01, 2008, 11:58:35 AM
Sometimes, things sound dirty...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3619/H_3619_08.jpg)
...even when they're not.

These exotic dancers are available for parties...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3619/H_3619_44.jpg)
...but what do they mean by privates?

Here's an ad for boys' shorts...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3624/H_3624_22.jpg)
Really? Those are for boys?

A drum corps is going to perform at a local dance...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3624/H_3624_20.jpg)
This must be some kind of porno band..

This seems a little rude...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3624/H_3624_40.jpg)
...hmmm.

Victims awake to...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3624/H_3624_52.jpg)
Are those victims sure they're awake?

Here's an example of an American mayor fighting for the rights of his town...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3624/H_3624_54.jpg)
It's about time!

When these guys say STD...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3629/H_3629_20.jpg)
...I'm thinking they mean "save the date."

This woman sent in her prescription for vaginal gel...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3629/H_3629_32.jpg)
...and look at the directions on the package! That woman must have a lovely smile...
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frank Rizzo on October 01, 2008, 01:06:40 PM
Now Frenchfry, that is funny!!!  I am sitting in front of my classroom busting out laughing, the kids are wondering what the heck is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ell on October 01, 2008, 01:09:06 PM
Now Frenchfry, that is funny!!!  I am sitting in front of my classroom busting out laughing, the kids are wondering what the heck is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay you, back to work molding young minds.  Welcome to MT if I havent's done so before.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 01, 2008, 01:10:28 PM
Now Frenchfry, that is funny!!!  I am sitting in front of my classroom busting out laughing, the kids are wondering what the heck is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How old are your students Frank ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on October 01, 2008, 01:36:00 PM
maybe the principal at franks school needs to see what he does during classroom hours with his tax payer bought computer!  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 01, 2008, 01:37:39 PM
maybe the principal at franks school needs to see what he does during classroom hours with his tax payer bought computer!  ;)

Hopefully he's teaching the sex ed class and was just researching for ummmhhhh....    materials :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 01, 2008, 02:53:32 PM
Now Frenchfry, that is funny!!!  I am sitting in front of my classroom busting out laughing, the kids are wondering what the heck is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey there fruitcake..
Interesting that you are surfing MT while being payed by the taxpayers. 

Don't make me come down there sizzle chest.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: PXaiver on October 01, 2008, 03:57:58 PM
Hey there fruitcake..
Interesting that you are surfing MT while being payed by the taxpayers. 

Don't make me come down there sizzle chest.


You think that's bad, you should have seen what I was doing in the Navy on tax payers dimes.... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: riversbend again on October 01, 2008, 05:17:28 PM
An elderly couple, Margaret and Syd, moved to Texas . Syd always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife.
Notice anything different about me?
Margaret looked him over, 'Nope.

Frustrated, Syd stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back
into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, Notice anything
different NOW?

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, Syd, what's different? It's hanging down
today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow!

Furious, Syd yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?

Nope, she replied.

IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied,
Shoulda bought a hat, Syd. Shoulda bought a hat.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 03, 2008, 02:31:06 AM
The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle

and whose given name was 'Onestone'.


He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

 
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'


The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

 
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'


He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

 
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.


Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.


Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.


She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

 
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

 

 

 

 

Why?

 

 

 

 

OH, come on... take a guess !!!

 

 

 

 

Think about it !!!

 

 

 

 

You're going to love this !!!

 

 

 

 

Everyone knows...

 

You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone !!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 05, 2008, 04:55:44 AM
The Ketchup Effect
One Way to Get Ketchup Out of the Bottle
http://www.toilette-humor.com/female_humor/ketchup/ketchup.shtml
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 05, 2008, 01:48:23 PM
End the hate.

[IMAGES REMOVED FOR VIOLATING TERMS OF SERVICE]
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on October 05, 2008, 02:24:02 PM
Soooo, Fry.... You're a Hooter's fan??  ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ell on October 05, 2008, 02:35:21 PM
Soooo, Fry.... You're a Hooter's fan??  ;)

Isn't that the name of that chain of owl preserves?  I've made many donations, but for some reason they're not tax deductible!  *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 05, 2008, 02:37:11 PM
Soooo, Fry.... You're a Hooter's fan??  ;)

One of the pics almost resembles little miss "underage" Miley Cyrus" *:) *:) *:)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 05, 2008, 02:37:30 PM
Soooo, Fry.... You're a Hooter's fan??  ;)


Actually I feel more than a mouthful is a waste but I ran across these on CL and thought the sex category could use it.

I’m afraid to post the thongs though
http://detroit.craigslist.org/rnr/866879024.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 05, 2008, 02:39:32 PM
Actually I feel more than a mouthful is a waste but I ran across these on CL and thought the sex category could use it.

I’m afraid to post the thongs though
[url]http://detroit.craigslist.org/rnr/866879024.html[/url]


Some of those remind me of my nextdoor neighbor ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 05, 2008, 02:40:03 PM
One of the pics almost resembles little miss "underage" Miley Cyrus" *:) *:) *:)

Maybe I should delete that one before the mod has a reason to……which one is it?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ell on October 05, 2008, 02:41:22 PM
Some of those remind me of my nextdoor neighbor ;D ;D ;D

What's your address again BRD? LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 05, 2008, 02:44:52 PM
Maybe I should delete that one before the mod has a reason to……which one is it?

It's in the very top set...  the gif that srolls thru several gals...   the one in red may be her...    I wouldn't delete it...   that gas is probably dressed more than any of the others...

it all looked good to me ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 05, 2008, 02:46:10 PM
What's your address again BRD? LOL

South of Monroe, north of Toledo...

corner of walk and don't walk ;D ;D ;D

one of the reasons I hate to see fall upon us 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 06, 2008, 01:58:37 PM
Isn't that the name of that chain of owl preserves?  I've made many donations, but for some reason they're not tax deductible!  *:)

Me too, ell!!

Every time I give them a donation, some pretty girl brings me a plate of chicken wings!!   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Farmer.Ted on October 06, 2008, 02:33:36 PM
Soooo, Fry.... You're a Hooter's fan??  ;)

Who doesn't love hooters?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on October 06, 2008, 02:46:24 PM
Who doesn't love hooters?
Apparently Fry!! He prefers champagne glasses to brandy snifters!!  :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 06, 2008, 03:57:45 PM
Apparently Fry!! He prefers champagne glasses to brandy snifters!!  :D

I love all breasts…..and while my wife is stacked............big or small, I love them all.  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 07, 2008, 09:16:29 AM
World's Most dangerous Creature...WHALES!!!

1st look and see the Whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the Whale.
Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back, you might get wet (it's like it's3D). click on the picture when it loads completely and be sure that your sound is on

CLICK ON:
http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 10, 2008, 12:33:09 AM
 A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the littl e girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'




'Because you got an F in sex.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 10, 2008, 10:43:12 PM
The G Spot  ;D
http://www.libchrist.com/sexed/Gspot.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 15, 2008, 03:40:53 AM
Here's a 12 piece children's chair...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3629/H_3629_06.jpg)
I guess if you're going to sit in it, it might as well be that color.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 15, 2008, 09:38:38 AM
(http://images.craigslist.org/1fc124140ZZZZZZZZZ8ae8fa8638f51741a9b.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 16, 2008, 11:45:51 PM
  Dallas Cowboy QB, Tony Romo, broke his pinkie on his throwing hand and is going to be out for at least four weeks. When informed her boyfriend broke his pinky, Jessica Simpson said “Oh no, I told him he should wear a cup.” (comedy writer  Alex Kaseberg)
Title: Re: Sex stimulates intellect
Post by: Frenchfry on October 18, 2008, 12:48:57 AM
German scientists claim that regular sex makes people smarter
Everyone is aware that sex is a rather pleasant activity. Scientists as well praise sex and discover more and more healthy advantages of it. Indeed, it is good for the body and soul, incredibly healthy in all aspects. German scientists went even further declaring that regular sex makes people smarter.

Leading specialists from the Medical research Center in Hamburg managed to draw such strange correlation between one’s physical and intellectual capabilities. According to the author of such fascinating research study Mr. Werner Habermel, regular sexual intercourses stimulate development of one's intellect.

However, you should not get carried away thinking that it is possible to get smarter simply by doing what you enjoy the most. Sex will not make you Einstein. Nonetheless, there is some truth to Habermel's reasoning.

The scientist claims that such substances as adrenalin and hydrocortisone (hormone of adrenal gland) are secreted in large quantities during foreplay and sexual intercourse. Together, these substances stimulate the grey matter of the brain, which in turn stimulates intellectual activity.

Obviously, one should not wholeheartedly stick to Habermel's assumptions. Hormones will always be hormones, and we should refrain ourselves from such important sources of knowledge as books. Therefore, we suggest that instead of inviting your girlfriend over for a night before finals, you should review your notes and study hard. In the end, neither the German scientist nor your girlfriend will be responsible for your grade.
http://english.pravda.ru/science/19/94/377/12381_sex.html
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Sojourner on October 18, 2008, 01:07:05 AM
Tell that to Issac Newton, who when dying said his greatest accomplishment was to die in his 80's a virgin.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: lordfly on October 18, 2008, 01:11:36 AM
Tell that to Issac Newton, who when dying said his greatest accomplishment was to die in his 80's a virgin.

While he did indeed "discover" gravity, he spent the remainder of his life pursuing alchemy.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 18, 2008, 01:14:03 AM
Tell that to Issac Newton, who when dying said his greatest accomplishment was to die in his 80's a virgin.

Well that would indicate that lucky for you…..masturbation may help. ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Sojourner on October 18, 2008, 01:19:42 AM
Well that would indicate that lucky for you…..masturbation may help. ;)
Well, if that were true most men would be men of genius. One reason I don't buy into such ideas.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 18, 2008, 01:28:54 AM
Well, if that were true most men would be men of genius. One reason I don't buy into such ideas.

Ah, you assume too much but let me remind you…….use it or lose it.

Now I’m speaking in terms of atrophy when I say a mind is a terrible thing to waste but that could apply to other things as well.

You could have used the exercise with your date this evening….it’s a shame she must have felt cheated but it’s her own fault for being desperate enough to go out with a weirdo.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Sojourner on October 18, 2008, 01:41:38 AM
Ah, you assume too much but let me remind you…….use it or lose it.

Now I’m speaking in terms of atrophy when I say a mind is a terrible thing to waste but that could apply to other things as well.

You could have used the exercise with your date this evening….it’s a shame she must have felt cheated but it’s her own fault for being desperate enough to go out with a weirdo.
If I would have let her have *it*, then I wouldn't be so weird, eh?
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 18, 2008, 01:43:14 AM
If I would have let her have *it*, then I wouldn't be so weird, eh?

A little less I guess
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 18, 2008, 01:54:01 AM
If I would have let her have *it*, then I wouldn't be so weird, eh?

If your date wanted to kiss and you found her attractive then quit being so uptight……seize the moment!

You’ve lost an opportunity to make someone happy…….beside yourself that is but that should have made you happy as well…….unless maybe you’re still struggling with gender preference.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 19, 2008, 04:00:37 PM
There's a large reward for...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3629/H_3629_42.jpg)
...a puddle? I'm thinking they must have meant poodle.

Even if you have a good company...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3629/H_3629_44.jpg)
..a bad slogan can drag you way down.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 20, 2008, 09:57:00 PM
Study shows that sex...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3634/H_3634_08.jpg)
...enhances the chance of pregnancy. Ohhh, is that how it works?


I'm sure this is completely innocent, but...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3634/H_3634_34.jpg)
...it just sounds really inappropriate...


When you're a photographer, shooting a picture for a family newspaper...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3634/H_3634_42.jpg)
...look carefully, no matter how innocent you think your picture is!


Here's the worst headline I've ever seen. It's the story of a young woman...
(http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/headlines/H_3639/H_3639_46.jpg)
Yikes!

Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 20, 2008, 10:53:40 PM
[IMAGE DELETED]
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on October 21, 2008, 03:21:31 AM
[IMAGES DELETED]
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 21, 2008, 08:16:44 AM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist .

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: supermom on October 21, 2008, 04:15:23 PM
That is WAY too funny, FF.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 21, 2008, 06:30:16 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/123130143ZZZZZZZZZ8al2b9b2a5ec65314db.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 22, 2008, 04:40:13 AM
(http://i528.photobucket.com/albums/dd329/HDynaglider/doit.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: supermom on October 22, 2008, 08:29:49 PM
Good one FF. I have not seen that one in years!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2008, 09:49:51 AM
Cowboy and a Genie:
 
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas  plains without  water.  His horse has already died of thirst.  He's  crawling through the  sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when  all of a sudden  he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards  ahead of him.

 He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and  discovers what  looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a  genie. But this  is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA ID badge and a  dull gray  dress.  There's a calculator in her pocketbook.  She
has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
 
'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work. You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy.  'I'm not going to trust a  FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. 'OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF***  The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest  dreams.'

***POOF***  The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.


'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... 'I  wish that no  matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need  me.'

***POOF***  He turned into a tampon.
 
The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything, there's going to  be a string  attached.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: supermom on October 24, 2008, 06:30:50 PM
You really crack me up FF!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Chips on October 26, 2008, 06:52:12 PM
No sexual fullfulment  here.
I was ready too!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 29, 2008, 11:02:16 AM
 TOP 10 REASONS

WHY

TRICK OR TREATING

IS BETTER THAN

SEX

 

#10

 

YOU'RE GUARANTEED TO GET AT LEAST

A LITTLE SOMETHING IN THE SACK!

 

 

#9

 

IF YOU GET TIRED

YOU CAN WAIT TEN MINUTES

AND GO AT IT AGAIN

 

 

#8

 

THE UGLIER YOU LOOK

THE EASIER IT IS TO GET SOME

 

 

 

#7

 

 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO COMPLIMENT

THE PERSON WHO GIVES YOU SOME

 

#6

 

 

FORTY YEARS FROM NOW

YOU'LL STILL ENJOY CANDY

 

#5

 

 

ITS O.K. WHEN THE PERSON YOU'RE

WITH FANTASIZES YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE,

BECAUSE YOU ARE

 

#4

 

 

IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU GET

YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR

 

#3

 

 

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE KIDS

HEAR YOU MOANING & GROANING

 

#2

 

LESS GUILT THE MORNING AFTER!

 

#1

 

YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!

 

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 07, 2008, 07:46:19 AM
Home_Depot_AD (Based on a true story)
http://vickisue.multiply.com/video/item/4
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on December 12, 2008, 03:47:43 PM
Yepp...just like the advertising agencys do...I got your attention...guess you're normal then huh?? :P


Hmm, only been on this site for 30 minutes and I thought I had found the perverts section already. Almost scared to look. Glad it was a scam.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DaisyDuke726 on December 12, 2008, 06:54:58 PM
Hmm, only been on this site for 30 minutes and I thought I had found the perverts section already. Almost scared to look. Glad it was a scam.


The perv section! haha!!


This entire board is the perv section for certain people!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 14, 2008, 10:02:13 PM
Boobs Vs Willies                                                          
                                                                           
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"                                         

                                                                           
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.                                                                   

In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.             

                                                                           
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.   
                                                                           
After 50, they are like onions".                                       

                                                                           
"Onions?"                                                         
     
                                                                           
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."                         
     
                                                                           
                                                                           
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how 

many kinds of 'willies' are there?"                             
       
                                                                           
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.                                               
                                                                           
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.               
                                                                           
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.           
                                                                           
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".                           

                                                                           
"A Christmas tree?"                             
                 
     
                                                                           
                                                                           
"Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration   
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DaisyDuke726 on December 15, 2008, 08:32:45 AM
Boobs Vs Willies                                                          
                                                                           
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"                                         

                                                                           
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.                                                                   

In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.             

                                                                           
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.   
                                                                           
After 50, they are like onions".                                       

                                                                           
"Onions?"                                                         
     
                                                                           
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."                         
     
                                                                           
                                                                           
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how 

many kinds of 'willies' are there?"                             
       
                                                                           
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.                                               
                                                                           
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.               
                                                                           
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.           
                                                                           
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".                           

                                                                           
"A Christmas tree?"                             
                 
     
                                                                           
                                                                           
"Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration   



LOL!!!! That was a good one!!

That's what lifts are for - duh  ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on December 15, 2008, 12:50:34 PM
Boobs Vs Willies                                                         
                                                                          
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"                                        

                                                                          
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.                                                                  

In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.            

                                                                          
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.   
                                                                          
After 50, they are like onions".                                       

                                                                          
"Onions?"                                                         
    
                                                                          
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."                        
    
                                                                          
                                                                          
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how 

many kinds of 'willies' are there?"                            
       
                                                                          
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.                                               
                                                                          
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.              
                                                                          
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.           
                                                                          
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".                           

                                                                          
"A Christmas tree?"                             
                
    
                                                                          
                                                                          
"Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration  


LOL
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DaisyDuke726 on December 15, 2008, 03:15:21 PM
I keep trying to remember all the dirty jokes my older brothers used to tell me when I was little because apparently they thought it was funny to corrupt my young innocent mind but none seem to be coming to me at the moment!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Funroe goodtime committee on December 18, 2008, 07:46:51 PM
LOLZ
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 28, 2008, 11:53:36 AM
(http://images.craigslist.org/3ma3pe3oe12c13b1428cs3c96a7d66ccd11bf.jpg)

The Flying Penis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbnySBqioB0
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: bloo II on December 28, 2008, 11:58:55 AM
Eww! She needs a bra for her belly!!!

(Suddenly I feel svelte! :D)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 01, 2009, 12:34:08 PM
(The lady with the bottle was deleted by the admin so I pulled my post)


There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.  Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.

When he returned, however, his trousers were wet all over.

 'What happened, Grandpa?', he was asked by his concerned children.

'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know.  I had to go to the bathroom.  So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 08, 2009, 09:06:42 PM
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit.......he wanted to thank you for his new ears.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: DundeeDad on January 08, 2009, 09:11:19 PM
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for
use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself
a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning
to the names  'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff
drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and
Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there
should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 13, 2009, 12:07:12 PM
On my 67th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my girlfriend. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicineman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
 
  After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the medicineman, and wondered what I was in for. The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, 'This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want. I was encouraged..
 
As he walked away, I turned and asked, 'How do I stop the medicine from working?' 'Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' the medicineman responded. 'But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.'
 
I was eager to see if it worked. I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited Ione to join me in the bedroom.
 
When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, '1-2-3!'
 
Immediately, I was the manliest of men.
 
Ione was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, 'What was the 1-2-3 for?'
 
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 21, 2009, 10:57:47 PM
The rake:
http://www.smwa.net/downloads/funny/rake_bush4.swf
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on May 19, 2009, 10:34:24 AM
(From an email)
Global Facts . . .
At Any Given Moment:

FACT:
79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now.

FACT:
58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT:
37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT:
1 old timer is reading emails.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 15, 2009, 11:39:25 PM
An elderly man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
old man said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

'So what do you think about that Doc ?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season.'

One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry ,
he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'

'As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.
He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as i f
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.'

'Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor.

The old man said ,
'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'

The doctor replied , 'My point exactly.'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 18, 2009, 02:49:12 PM
RENAULT &  FORD TO MERGE
 
Renault & Ford are working together to build a small car.

They are using the Renault Clio & the Ford Taurus as a basis for the new zippy little car . .. . The Clitaurus.

The car comes in pink, with fur on the dash.
 
Models assembled in Brazil will not offer the fur option.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 19, 2009, 11:02:02 PM
 :D
Dad, Thanks For Not Pulling Out! (A Father's Day Tribute) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxMcYsSkMXg&feature=haxa_popt00us13#lq-lq2-hq)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: eriemermaid on June 19, 2009, 11:07:23 PM
LOL That is the best one ever. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 23, 2009, 06:33:55 AM
NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! .
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly.

'In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.'

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: the nosh on June 24, 2009, 08:30:02 PM
good one FF!! lol
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on June 29, 2009, 10:48:05 PM
From CL:

A Jew, a Frenchman, and an Italian were talking.

The Jewish man said, "Last week my wife and I had great sex.
I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat).
We made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end!"

Not to be outdone, the Frenchman boasted, "Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter.
We then made passionate love, and she screamed for fifteen minutes!"

Unfazed, the Italian man said, "Well, last week my wife and I also had sex.
I rubbed her body all over with olive oil.
We made love, and she screamed for over six hours!"

The other two men were stunned.
The amazed Frenchman asked, "What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?"

The Italian man replied, "I wiped my hands on the bedspread."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 15, 2009, 12:35:03 AM
From CL
(Presumably from a woman)


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it never happened)


And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 17, 2009, 01:31:46 AM
(http://images.craigslist.org/3nf3pd3laZZZZZZZZZ97g43c8bb73e8791646.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on July 23, 2009, 02:32:47 PM
Yessir....nice to see that sex is still around... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Normal Joe on July 23, 2009, 02:33:26 PM
Yessir...nice to see that sex is still around... ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on July 23, 2009, 03:09:39 PM
A cowboy and his wife had just got  married and found a nice hotel for their wedding night.

The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.

He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a good strong bed."

The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?'

The cowboy reflected on this for  a moment and then replied,

“Nope, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 09, 2009, 05:48:05 AM
(http://images6.cafepress.com/product/284253706v20_350x350_Front.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 09, 2009, 05:58:33 AM
A guy hooked up with a girl from Mexico. After dating for a few weeks, they begin to have sex. One night while they were having sex, the girl starts yelling "PERJUCIO AGUJERO, PERJUCIO AGUJERO" faster and louder as they reached their orgasm. The guy didn't know what she said but took it as some sort of praise.

The next day as he was playing golf with his friends. He was bragging about how lucky he got the night before. When he got a hole in one, he shouted "PERJUCIO AGUJERO!" They stared at him and said, "what do you mean 'wrong hole?'"
http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1312802282.html (http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1312802282.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 16, 2009, 10:05:09 PM
It's just a cat song so don't let your mind wander into the gutter
**** cat song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_biZ8b2R0DA&feature=related#lq-hq)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 26, 2009, 12:49:18 AM
A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!


Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. 


A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.


The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

 


The moral of the story?? (yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)

 

 

 

 

'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 28, 2009, 12:21:17 PM
Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing
trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time
because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name
calling, Dave headed home, frustrated.

The following week, when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up
camp, they were shocked to see Dave was already there. He was already
sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod
in hand, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?" "I didn't have
to," Dave replied. "Last week, when I left our meeting, I went home and
slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol'
lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When
I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful
see-through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me
to the bed and you can do whatever you want'......SO HERE I AM!"
http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1344574349.html (http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1344574349.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on August 28, 2009, 04:58:14 PM
Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing
trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time
because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name
calling, Dave headed home, frustrated.

The following week, when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up
camp, they were shocked to see Dave was already there. He was already
sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod
in hand, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?" "I didn't have
to," Dave replied. "Last week, when I left our meeting, I went home and
slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol'
lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When
I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful
see-through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me
to the bed and you can do whatever you want'......SO HERE I AM!"
[url]http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1344574349.html[/url] ([url]http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1344574349.html[/url])


Dave's not here man.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on August 30, 2009, 10:15:20 PM
The question of "have you loved two people at the same time" reminded me of "have you ever made love with two people at the same time" so I figured my response would be better in the sex topic

The answer would be yes......prior to meeting my wife, two sweet young ladies suggested a Ménage à Trois...... I soon found it was way too much work because the ladies weren't into each other.....I don't want to paint the whole picture but imagine for a moment how you'd handle 'em.....two young women hot for you but not each other.

Gee I guess I shouldn't mention all the women that loved taking many men.....one right after the other.

Yep, the gang bangs.....or some people called 'em trains

And then there were the orgies.....man those were the days.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 07, 2009, 11:00:53 PM
Washington, Pennsylvania (The Weekly Vice) - Samantha Jo Harvey, a 22-year-old Pennsylvania woman was charged Tuesday after she allegedly used a curling iron to torture a man into having sex with her.

According to Washington Police, Harvey raped a man in his home Aug. 20 after burning him with a curling iron until he complied with her demands for sex.

Investigators say Harvey forced the man to have sex by clipping a hot iron to his ear. When he didn't comply she used the iron to burn his genitals.

She was booked into the Washington County Jail on charges of recklessly endangering another person, forcible rape, aggravated indecent assault, IDSI forcible compulsion.

The incident is also a violation of Harvey's probation following her arrest in 2006. In that case, Harvey was charged with theft after she reportedly stole money from her grandmother.
http://www.theweeklyvice.com/ (http://www.theweeklyvice.com/)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on September 25, 2009, 10:03:47 AM
    At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly   gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
     
    They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, 'Do you want to go up or down?' All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!
     
    When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years..

    They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He again asked the lady , 'Up or down?' There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

    This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day..

    She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down?' The woman replied, 'Down.'

    A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, 'Up or down?' She replied, 'Up.'

    This really confused the gentleman so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad, passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'

She replied, “Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were f**k or drown!!”
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 21, 2009, 12:47:09 AM
Coach Can't Keep Hands Off The Merchandise
Go ahead and play with yourself. It's perfectly natural and I won't judge you. Even if you're a high school basketball coach, it's still a personal matter. But do it in the middle of Costco, and that'll get you headlines.

Kyle Dennis, a math teacher and boys basketball coach in Boise, is in trouble for giving us one of the best police reports in recent memory:

Dennis "knowingly engaged in obscene conduct...by manipulating his penis with his hands while walking around a Costco store with an erection."

Despite that "knowingly," I might be willing to cut him a little slack here. Who among us can see the amazing deals on bulk pricing and not get at least semi-chubby? Oh wait, there's a pattern.

The documents go on to say that Dennis performed the same behavior at the Costco on 2051 S. Cole Road as well as the Walmart on Overland in June.

Walmart? You pervert.
http://deadspin.com/5382790/coach-cant-keep-hands-off-the-merchandise (http://deadspin.com/5382790/coach-cant-keep-hands-off-the-merchandise)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on October 21, 2009, 06:59:14 PM
Wrong Hole with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio [PL] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnw1sycQphY#ws-normal)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on October 21, 2009, 07:08:03 PM
LMAO!!!!

Love it, CK! 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: arpydave on October 21, 2009, 07:26:08 PM
LMAO!!!!

Love it, CK! 


Don't let it get to his "head" ATG
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on October 21, 2009, 08:04:51 PM

Don't let it get to his "head" ATG

OMG!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on October 21, 2009, 08:12:55 PM
I told a funny story at work the other day. A coworker was reminiscing on his first time, the location, who she was and all that sort of thing. I was asked about the location of my "first time". I told him it was in a barn. "In a barn?" he asked. I said yes, it happened in a barn. I then then went on in graphic detail. After he was completely hooked in to my story, he asked what her name was. I told him she didn't have a name, just an ear tag.

LMAO   :D :D :D :D :D ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on October 21, 2009, 08:13:55 PM
I told a funny story at work the other day. A coworker was reminiscing on his first time, the location, who she was and all that sort of thing. I was asked about the location of my "first time". I told him it was in a barn. "In a barn?" he asked. I said yes, it happened in a barn. I then then went on in graphic detail. After he was completely hooked in to my story, he asked what her name was. I told him she didn't have a name, just an ear tag.

LMAO   :D :D :D :D :D ;)
:o :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on October 21, 2009, 08:15:07 PM
:o :o :o :o :o :o



x2!! omg Shep!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: TheShepherd on October 21, 2009, 08:16:21 PM

x2!! omg Shep!

You know you've missed it ATG. ;) ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: AtypicalGirl on October 21, 2009, 08:17:27 PM
You know you've missed it ATG. ;) ;D

You got that right!!  ;)  :-*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 21, 2009, 09:15:35 PM
I saw that one coming, Shep!!    :D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: eriemermaid on October 22, 2009, 09:14:55 AM
Livewire, if you saw that coming does that mean you were WATCHING???  :o
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: livewire on October 22, 2009, 09:19:25 AM
Livewire, if you saw that coming does that mean you were WATCHING???  :o

Who do you think was holding the sheep?   ;D
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: eriemermaid on October 22, 2009, 09:24:03 AM
LOL  8*
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2009, 11:07:35 PM
A 22-year-old man accused of killing and dismembering his sexually abusive father will spend three years in prison after pleading guilty in an agreement with prosecutors.

Jeremiah Raymond Berry plead guilty to manslaughter and menacing Friday during an emotional court hearing in which family members and attorneys described him as a troubled young man who was the victim of years of abuse.

"Jeremiah stopped a cycle of abuse. He's not a cold-blooded killer," said his mother, Rita Gallegos. "His father was a monster, and Jeremiah was a victim."

Berry, who cried throughout his sentencing hearing, had been charged with second-degree murder for the February 2008 death of his father, 42-year-old Jack Berry. Jeremiah Berry had faced 48 years in prison if convicted of that charge in Montezuma County. He had previously pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity, but doctors concluded during two mental evaluations that he was competent to stand trial.

Jeremiah Berry shot his father in the head, and then dismembered his corpse to feed parts of it to coyotes, according to court documents. Authorities said they also found some of Jack Berry's body parts encased in a bucket with concrete.

Jeremiah Berry told police he killed his father after his father raped him. He said his father told him that day he had been told by God his son needed a sex change to become his wife.
http://www.examiner.com/a-2239180~Man_pleads_guilty_to_killing__dismembering_father.html (http://www.examiner.com/a-2239180~Man_pleads_guilty_to_killing__dismembering_father.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2009, 11:11:33 PM
Horace Dean Wanted to Screw
(http://www.shadowscope.com/WindowsLiveWriter/HoraceDeanWantedtoScrew_11B65/horacedean_thumb.png)
67-year-old Horace Lanette Dean of Vero Beach, Florida has been arrested and charged with Capital Sexual Battery for allegedly using a screwdriver to sexually assault a 4-year-old girl.

The mother of the little girl had taken her to the Indian River Medical Center to be treated for vaginal irritation which she had been experiencing for a couple of weeks. Her mother thought it might be a urinary tract infection but after the little girl told her mother about the several alleged incidents the police were called in and they opened an investigation on Dean.

The identity of the little girl has been withheld and I don't currently know the relationship of the man to the mother or her child.

According to WPTV (linked as the source) his attorney said "He's been here 50 years in this community and has been an outstanding citizen". I'm not sure exactly what that has to do with him molesting a little girl but whatever. Roman Polanski is an outstanding director and he's a child molester.
http://www.shadowscope.com/archives/2009/09/horace_dean_wanted_to_screw.php (http://www.shadowscope.com/archives/2009/09/horace_dean_wanted_to_screw.php)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2009, 11:15:56 PM
There are easier ways to be the cool aunt other than sending kids pictures of people having sex with donkeys. But Brenda Simard-Reid of St. Johnsbury, Vermont must has missed the memo on that piece of advice. She's charged with sending the photos to a 13-year-old relative's cell phone.

When the kid's parents found out, they apparently decided 13 was a little young to be introduced to sex photos, so Simard-Reid was ratted to police.
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/10/brenda_simard-reid_wouldnt_sen.php (http://www.truecrimereport.com/2009/10/brenda_simard-reid_wouldnt_sen.php)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 24, 2009, 11:22:07 PM
Aussie brothels offer discounts for elderly for seniors week
Melbourne, Oct 1 (ANI): Senior citizens looking for a rocking time in bed can get a generous discount at Melbourne brothels next week, when Aussies celebrate national Seniors Week.

On the occasion of national Seniors Week, old-timers who present their seniors’ discount card at some brothels and escort services can celebrate in an entirely different way.

Brothels aligned with Australian Adult Entertainment will offer discounted services from October 4-11.

Caulfield South’s Club 859 owner Fiona Brownlee said that she would honour the promotion for any seniors who wanted to partake.

“I certainly will be. I’d certainly be giving 5 dollars to 10 dollars off,” said Brownlees.

She said “heaps” of the Caulfield South brothel’s clientele were older than 60.

William Albon, spokesman AAEI, said that some establishments would offer markdowns of up to 50 per cent on sexual services.

“Many senior members of the community already use our member’s services, whether visiting a brothel or having an escort visit their place of residence, including aged care residential centres,” said Albon.

“If senior members of our community want to use the service of our brothels and escort agencies during senior’s week, they will not only be warmly welcomed but afforded a generous discount on the cost of the services provided by the establishment,” he added. (ANI)
http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/aussie-brothels-offer-discounts-for-elderly-for-seniors-week_100254588.html (http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/aussie-brothels-offer-discounts-for-elderly-for-seniors-week_100254588.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ASH86 on October 25, 2009, 02:22:36 PM
There are some seriously ill people in this world. 
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2009, 02:03:43 AM
Wrong Hole with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zHVW7Zy_vg#normal)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2009, 10:39:36 AM
From CL:

A guy sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.

The bartender filled his mug and slid it down the bar.



While sliding down the bar, the mug hit a blond woman's boobs and splashed all over them...



The bartender went over, retrieved the mug and licked the beer off her boobs.


Each time the guy called for another beer this happened.



After his third beer, the guy decided to help the bartender out.

The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumped up and started to lick them...

She decked him!


He was laying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady... Why'd you let the bartender lick your boobs, but not me?'


'Duh,' said the blond, 'He has a licker license!'
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on October 31, 2009, 02:12:46 PM
Wrong Hole with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zHVW7Zy_vg#normal[/url])


Hum, I posted this a week or so ago.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Collegekid on October 31, 2009, 02:13:09 PM
Wrong Hole with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio [PL] ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnw1sycQphY#ws-normal[/url])
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on October 31, 2009, 04:13:19 PM
Hum, I posted this a week or so ago.

Oops....sorry  :-[
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 01, 2009, 08:51:03 PM
Mild language to me but might be coarse by others so I put it here
Halloween Trick-or-Treat Rap Video : Original Short (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qBOfzJVI7M&feature=fvhl#normal)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 09, 2009, 10:36:07 PM
Penis tissue replaced in the lab

Tissue created in a laboratory has been used to completely replace the erectile tissue of the penis in animals.

The advance raises hopes of being able to restore full function to human penises that have been damaged by injury or disease.

Rabbits given the engineered tissue by the scientists from Wake Forest University in New Carolina had normal sexual function and produced offspring.

The study appears online in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Professor Anthony Atala said: "Further studies are required, of course, but our results are encouraging and suggest that the technology has considerable potential for patients who need penile reconstruction.

"Our hope is that patients with congenital abnormalities, penile cancer, traumatic injury and some cases of erectile dysfunction will benefit from this technology in the future."

Reconstructing damaged or diseased penile erectile tissue is a tough challenge because of the tissue's complex structure and function.

Different approaches have been tried - including the use of silicone prosthesis - but with limited success.

The Wake Forest team has already achieved considerable success in the field of tissue engineering, developing whole human bladders that have been implanted into patients.

In a previous study, the researchers engineered short segments of rabbit erectile tissue with 50% of full function.

In the latest work, they harvested smooth muscle cells and endothelial cells from the animals' erectile tissue.

These cells were multiplied in the laboratory and used to seed a three dimensional scaffold, which was implanted into the animals' penis.

Organised erectile tissue with blood vessel structures began to form as early as a month later.

The researchers believe the key was the fact that the cells were injected into the scaffolds on two separate days, enabling them to hold almost six times as many smooth muscle cells as in previous studies.

During an erection, it is the relaxation of smooth muscle tissue that allows an influx of blood into the penis.

The relaxation is triggered by the release of nitric oxide from endothelial cells.

Tests showed that vessel pressure within the engineered tissue was normal and that blood flowed smoothly through it and drained away from it normally after an erection.

When the animals with the engineered tissue mated with females, vaginal swabs contained sperm in eight out of 12 cases. Four of the 12 females were impregnated.

Tim Terry, honorary secretary of the British Association of Urological Surgeons, described the study as "fascinating".

He said complex, highly invasive surgery was often the only option for patients with damaged erectile tissue and the latest work offered long-term hope of a better alternative.

However, he said, much work would be required before the technique could be tested on humans, with potential problems including finding a suitable place to embed the new tissue and ensuring it had an appropriate nerve supply.

"Nevertheless, tissue engineering techniques may well lead to clinical advances with time," he said.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8347008.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8347008.stm)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 11, 2009, 11:21:36 PM
Lulu was a woman of ill fame !. One day there was a raid.
>
> All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
> them in one by one.
> As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so
> ashamed as Grandma didn't know her occupation.
>
> Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
> Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh
> oranges to those waiting.
>
> Grandma thought this was wonderful of the police and as she loved oranges
> joined the end of the line.
> When the policeman got to her, he was amazed.
> He said," How the heck do you do this at your age?"
> She said, "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck 'em dry!"
> The policeman fainted.
http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1460790043.html (http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1460790043.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: ASH86 on November 12, 2009, 07:57:43 PM
Lmao!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Aguilera on November 14, 2009, 07:07:24 PM
Lulu was a woman of ill fame !. One day there was a raid.
>
> All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
> them in one by one.
> As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so
> ashamed as Grandma didn't know her occupation.
>
> Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
> Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh
> oranges to those waiting.
>
> Grandma thought this was wonderful of the police and as she loved oranges
> joined the end of the line.
> When the policeman got to her, he was amazed.
> He said," How the heck do you do this at your age?"
> She said, "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck 'em dry!"
> The policeman fainted.
[url]http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1460790043.html[/url] ([url]http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1460790043.html[/url])


LMAO
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 16, 2009, 02:06:51 PM
A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain
decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he
failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it
was "pleasure?"

A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A lieutenant said it was 50-50%.

An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his
state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge
of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, "Sir, it has to be 100%
pleasure."

The captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me
doing it for them."

The room fell silent.
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 18, 2009, 10:58:02 AM
From an email

The Flu's    
                                                             
I'm not really concerned about the swine flu, but I do have a
concern!     
                                                                           
3 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the cow. . . Mad Cow
disease         
                                                                           
2 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the bird . . .  Avian
flu.           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
This year, Chinese calendar year of the pig . . .  Swine
flu.             
                                                                           
Next year is the year of the cock . . .
 
Anybody else worried
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: rumrunner on November 19, 2009, 09:22:43 PM
cock-a-doodle-do
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: rumrunner on November 19, 2009, 09:29:53 PM
For his 90th birthday, a man's kids decided to get him a nice hotel room and a big surprise.  He settled into the room and was enjoying the surroundings when he heard a knock at the door. A little flustered, he answered the door and found a beautiful woman standing there.  He said.."Can I help you?"
She answered~"I'm here for super sex".
He is taken aback a bit and can hardly contain his excitement, but after much thought, he said..."I'll have the soup"!!!!
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 25, 2009, 11:08:43 PM
(http://images.craigslist.org/3nf3mb3l75T35Q15Pa9bp7fb895ae907a1d1d.jpg)
http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/rnr/1482672467.html (http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/rnr/1482672467.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on November 25, 2009, 11:27:39 PM
Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however
They had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi
Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to
Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought
She would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive
Pair of panties and did not want to ruin them..

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave
That had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she
Proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to
Go home.

The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned
That his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:
"These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing," said the other husband,
"Mine came back with a card stuck to her behind that
said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you.'

http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1482588041.html (http://toledo.craigslist.org/rnr/1482588041.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 05, 2009, 09:17:53 PM
(http://2.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ku0b0sprX81qa2m5ao1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on December 18, 2009, 01:22:38 AM
9 Things You May Not Know About Orgasms

 Just when you thought you knew everything there was to know about an orgasm, someone is one up on you.

More specifically, "someones" -- four sex researchers who have packed "The Orgasm Answer Guide" with questions you may not even have thought to ask:


1. Are the sensations experienced from orgasm the same for males and females?

This one is tough, but a 1976 experiment did try to compare his-and-her orgasms, asking college students to write descriptions of their climax. When gender-specific words were replaced with gender-neutral words, judges were unable to tell if the person writing the description was male or female.

Among the words used to describe orgasm: lightheadedness, a rush, relief and euphoria. These similar reactions may be due to the penis and clitoris having the same nerve route – a pair of pudendal nerves.


2. At what point in their lives can people experience orgasm?


This is a matter of great debate. Some professionals believe that humans do not orgasm until they hit puberty. Others argue that people can experience orgasm at any point, given that the nerve network involved in sexual response is present and functional even before birth.


3. Is the ability to have orgasms inherited?

Research comparing identical and fraternal twins found that women reported a great deal of variety in the frequency of climax during self-pleasuring or intercourse. The identical twins, however, were more similar than the fraternal twins in the frequency of orgasm. Researchers of the TwinsUK study believe that genetic variation can help to explain the difference.


4. How does nipple stimulation affect orgasm?

For some people, nipple play can impact the chance of reaching climax and/or maximize its intensity. The reason why, it is speculated, is that sensory activity from both the breast and genitals travels to some of the same neurons in the hypothalamus of the brain. Hence, sensations may be heightened when these hot spots are simultaneously stimulated.


5. Can having an orgasm influence a female’s ability to conceive?

Quite possibly. The wave-like contractions of the uterus during orgasm increase the subsequent suction action. This suction draws semen closer to the cervix and uterus.

At the same time, the hormone oxytocin, which is released at climax, stimulates the uterine muscles to contract even more forcefully, further upping the suction produced. So, more sperm enters the uterus.


6. Is erection required for his orgasm?

Many men may find this mind-blowing: Erection is not needed for orgasm (and emission, for that matter). The nerves sending messages from the penis to the brain are active regardless of whether he is hard or soft during stimulation.


7. Can reaching orgasm trigger a heart attack?

"Death in the saddle" is a rare occurrence. The effort put into sexual activity is much more to blame than reaching climax. The fact that 70 percent of these deaths happen during extramarital intercourse suggests that stress may be a factor too.


8. How does a hysterectomy affect orgasm?


The removal of the uterus, and in some cases the cervix with the uterus, can impact a woman’s climax. It can reduce or eliminate pain and menstrual bleeding that can impact her sexual pleasuring.

However, the surgery can damage blood and nerve supplies, impacting sensation in the genitals. Medications and post-surgical trauma can also affect her ability to orgasm.


9. Can Viagra help her reach the "Big O"?


Erectile dysfunction drugs have been tested in women as potential treatments for sexual disorders. While these drugs do increase blood flow to the clitoris, their impact on sexual desire and orgasmic response is still highly controversial.

With sex book shelves packed with reads that are all about orgasm, "The Orgasm Answer Guide" truly stands out in cutting right to the chase, with easy to absorb scientific data to back real claims. While it isn’t exactly erotica, learning about your sexual potential with a solid read can be a turn-on in and of itself.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580199,00.html (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580199,00.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 03, 2010, 11:20:14 AM
Dubya dies and finds himself confronted by Satan at the entrance to Hell.

“Sorry, sir, but we have no vacancies right now.”

“That’s ok, I’ll just be on my way,” responded a very happy Bush.

“Whoa, wait a minute! You’re George W. Bush. Sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first. After the life you lived, there is no way in hell I can turn you away. We’ll just have to release someone to make room for you. Tell you what, just to make it sporting I’ll show you three people and you can choose whom you replace.”

“Well, that seems fair,” replied a somewhat dejected Bush.

With that, the Devil whisked Dubya off to a large cavern. In the middle of the cavern was pool of boiling oil. George was surprised to see his former mentor, Dick Cheney, withering in agony as he vainly tried to pull himself up the steep, oil-slicked bank and out of the pool. It was plain to see that he would never make it out.

“Well, Mr. Devil, I was never any good in the oil business, so I think I’ll pass on this one,” said Dubya as he waved goodbye to his old friend.

The devil waved his mighty arm and in a flash Bush found himself in another cavern where a large group of demon warriors—armed with swords and spears of fire—were chasing a lone figure.

“Heya, Rummy,” shouted a gleeful Bush.

Rumsfeld was too busy to respond. He tried desperately to get away but the warriors quickly closed ground and savagely attacked, hacking the defenseless Rumsfeld to pieces.

Bush looked on in horror as Rumsfeld’s corpse suddenly reanimated. His former advisor sprung to life and quickly took off running again with the hellish hoard in hot pursuit.

“Well, Mr. Devil, sir, my military training was more in the way of boozing and whoring, so I think I’m not really right for this assignment.”

“Okay, George. The next one may be more down your alley.”

In flash, Bush and his devilish companion found themselves in a lushly decorated room. In the middle of the room was a pile of plush pillows of silk and satin. Upon the pillows Bush spied the buck naked, spread-eagle form of Bill Clinton. Kneeling before Clinton with her head buried in his groin was none other than Monica Lewinsky, doing...well...doing what she does so well.

Trying vainly to hide his enthusiasm, Bush blurted out, “Well, I’m not a sinful person, but you leave me no choice.” Ripping off his clothing, an eager Bush babbled, “I’ll take this one and just try to make the best of it.” Bush began to giggle in anticipation.

“Very well,” intoned the Devil, “You have made your choice and it is final.”

With that, the devil turned to interrupt the copulating couple.

“OK, Monica, you can go.”
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=110&topic_id=4833&mesg_id=5173 (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=110&topic_id=4833&mesg_id=5173)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 03, 2010, 11:22:54 AM
Dubya is in his big limo on a countryside road when suddenly:BAM!!!They hit something!
The driver gets out of the car to see what happened and comes back to make a report to W:"Mister president,i'm affraid we crushed a big hog who was crossing the road."
Seeing that there was a farm nearby,Dubya tells the driver to go there and explain the situation to the farmer.
Two hours later the driver comes back,all sweaty,with a big cigar in his mouth,a bottle of champagne in his hand and his clothes all messed-up!
Dubya asks:"What the hell happened?"
The driver answers:"Well sir,the farmer gave me a cigare,his wife gave me that bottle of champagne and his 19 years old daughter gave me the time of my life!"
Dubya:"What?I don't understand!What the hell did you tell them?"
The driver:"All i said was: Hi! I'm George W Bush's driver and i killed the pig!"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=110&topic_id=4833&mesg_id=5525 (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=110&topic_id=4833&mesg_id=5525)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 09, 2010, 11:22:31 PM
(http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/B/8/3/New-Years-Resolutions.jpg)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on January 14, 2010, 07:26:46 PM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW5wnVugyys#)
Playboy Model Says Liberals Are Better In Bed
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 03, 2010, 01:10:11 PM
Girl Auctions Off Her Virginity for $32,000

A cash-strapped New Zealand student who auctioned off her virginity to help pay her university fees says she has accepted an offer of $32,190 to sleep with a stranger, AFP reported on Wednesday.

The 19-year-old offered her virginity to the highest bidder in an online auction on the ineed.co.nz website and said there had been more than 1,200 bids.

"I have accepted an offer in excess of $45,000 New Zealand dollars (US $32,190) which is way beyond what I dreamed,'' the student said on her webpage when the auction ended.

"Thankyou to the more than 30,000 people who viewed my ad and to the more than 1,200 offers made.''

Calling herself "unigirl'', the young woman had described herself as attractive, fit and healthy, and said she had never been in a sexual relationship, though it was not clear how she would prove that.

She did not respond to media requests for an interview but the proprietor of the website, Ross MacKenzie, told the Waikato Times newspaper he had been authorized to confirm the transaction.
http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpps/news/dpgonc-unigirl-new-zealand-girl-auctions-off-her-virginity-fc-20100203_5915382 (http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpps/news/dpgonc-unigirl-new-zealand-girl-auctions-off-her-virginity-fc-20100203_5915382)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 09, 2010, 12:25:36 AM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnBXsJhW2Qc#)
Study: 40% of Australian Women Have Huge Breasts
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 15, 2010, 12:15:39 AM
Vibrators - A Girl's Friend or Foe?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585526,00.html (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585526,00.html)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on February 15, 2010, 12:28:08 AM
Vibrators - A Girl's Friend or Foe?
[url]http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585526,00.html[/url] ([url]http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585526,00.html[/url])


Great to see Fox news doing some serious journalism ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on February 20, 2010, 12:05:40 PM
His and hers motorcycles
(http://2whoa.com/images/his_hers_motorcycles.jpg)
http://2whoa.com/content/his-and-hers-motorcycles (http://2whoa.com/content/his-and-hers-motorcycles)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on March 02, 2010, 09:14:56 AM
Republican Has Sex W/ Mother In Law (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzn0fXl5ymk#)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: BigRedDog on March 02, 2010, 09:31:50 AM
sounds like the old "do as I say, not as I do" double standard ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: Sex...
Post by: Frenchfry on March 15, 2010, 10:32:43 PM
From CL....not verified

1. In Bakersfield, California, if you’re going to have sex with Satan, you’ve gotta use a condom. And definitely come up with a safe word!

2. Poking a porcupine is illegal in Florida. But apparently that law didn’t go far enough. Just a couple weeks ago, State Senator Nan Rich submitted a bill that would ban peeps in the Sunshine State from being able to stick it in where the sun don’t shine on any animal.