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excelsior

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #30 on: June 29, 2013, 07:21:25 PM »

Stanley Cup Shot 11 Times During Chicago Blackhawks Victory Parade




CHICAGO—Over the course of the 45-minute victory parade held Friday morning to celebrate the Chicago Blackhawks’ NHL championship, the Stanley Cup sustained nearly a dozen gunshot wounds, city police officials have confirmed. “Multiple gun-wielding individuals, all appearing to operate independently, fired approximately 25 shots at the trophy, resulting in 11 direct hits,” said Police Superintendent Garry McCarthy, who confirmed the famous trophy’s injuries may leave many of the names of past champions engraved upon it permanently illegible, including the entire roster of the 1999 Dallas Stars. “We are seeking any information regarding the current whereabouts of the Cup’s assailants, as well as the identities of the 1.3 million revelers facing charges of public intoxication.” Parade coordinators reportedly elected to continue the rally, stating that the crowds of Chicagoans did not seem at all fazed by the gunfire.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/stanley-cup-shot-11-times-during-chicago-blackhawk,33001/
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Monroe Native

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #31 on: June 30, 2013, 08:04:16 PM »

LOL!  Someone should pass a law banning guns in Chicago.
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sammy

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #32 on: June 30, 2013, 08:10:45 PM »

Keep in mind, it's from the onion!
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Monroe Native

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #33 on: July 01, 2013, 07:17:32 AM »

Keep in mind, it's from the onion!

I was on top of that!

Pretty sure it would be all over the papers if it would have really happened.

Obama would have been flying "victims" to Washington on Air Force 1 to lobby for "gun control."
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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Professor H

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #34 on: July 04, 2013, 02:50:54 PM »

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The Fuzz

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #35 on: July 04, 2013, 08:00:58 PM »

LMAO.....just saw the Stanley Cup one.  That's funny.
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Professor H

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #36 on: July 09, 2013, 08:25:27 AM »

Funny obit from a Cleveland man,   could also go for any Detroit fans...

=====================================
But his final bit of wisdom when it came to the franchise was this impressive zinger.

“He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.”
=======================================
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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #37 on: July 09, 2013, 12:33:56 PM »

Funny obit from a Cleveland man,   could also go for any Detroit fans...

=====================================
But his final bit of wisdom when it came to the franchise was this impressive zinger.

“He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.”
=======================================

LOL!

I think the Lions OWE me that if I asked....  all that wasted money and afternoons.
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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.
Lyndon B. Johnson

excelsior

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2013, 12:40:11 PM »

The Cleveland's fan name was Scott E. Entsminger.   His full obituary is here:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dispatch/obituary.aspx?n=scott-e-entsminger&pid=165695591#fbLoggedOut
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"The beginning of wisdom is a definition of terms." ~ Socrates

"No rational argument will have a rational effect on a man who does not want to adopt a rational attitude." ~ Karl Popper

"What vitiates entirely the socialists economic critique of capitalism is their failure to grasp the sovereignty of the consumers in the market economy." ~ Ludwig von Mises

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”  ~ Socrates

The Fuzz

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2013, 07:21:03 PM »

I think the Lions OWE me that if I asked....  all that wasted money and afternoons.

Stand in a very long line!


“He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.”
=======================================

Classic.
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Monroe Native

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #40 on: July 09, 2013, 07:40:30 PM »

Quote
A lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder, he also wrote a song each year and sent it to the Cleveland Browns as well as offering other advice on how to run the team.

I have lots of advice for the Lions too!

I don't write music, but I have been known to string together an impressive string of obscenities watching my beloved Lions.

 ;D
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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.
Lyndon B. Johnson

tnweasel

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #41 on: July 09, 2013, 11:23:01 PM »

....for those long years I suffered as an Atlanta Falcons fan....and for the years the Braves didn't fare much better...one of my favorites was...Go Braves...and take the Falcons with you!

also, one of the interstate roads that runs close to Atlanta...Interstate 24..some painted on a sign... I-24 ..Falcons 0.....
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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #42 on: July 10, 2013, 07:09:37 AM »

....for those long years I suffered as an Atlanta Falcons fan....and for the years the Braves didn't fare much better...one of my favorites was...Go Braves...and take the Falcons with you!

also, one of the interstate roads that runs close to Atlanta...Interstate 24..some painted on a sign... I-24 ..Falcons 0.....

But the Falcons have made it to a Super Bowl.....  Lions.....  not.
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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Professor H

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #43 on: July 31, 2013, 11:17:27 PM »

For the golfer who has almost everything...  ;D
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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

The Fuzz

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Re: Sports Jokes
« Reply #44 on: August 01, 2013, 05:56:24 PM »

LOL.  This is still one of my favorite clips related to sports funnies.



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