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chuntley

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2007, 03:30:42 AM »

I think we should here in Monroe start a support group for the peope that are going through the friend of the court maze. They do make it complicated as hell and they act as if you are trying to get away from supporting you child. I'm sure that there are some out there that do try this and it burns my butt when I here that someones child support doesn't even buy the kid a happy meal. But then a person that works get drug through the mill . I also think that monroe should not allow the payee to be able to take the payer back to court for a increase for 2 years simular to wyane county. The reason I say this, when I was going through the system if my ex did not get the raise she wanted she left court walked right down stairs ands refiled for ther same increase and repeated this until she got what she wanted. Now this was with the old judge and I do not think Judge Holman will let this happen at least I hope not.

I would be willing to give of my time for a support group. I really could have used it when I was going through it .
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persecuted father

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2007, 10:16:17 AM »

I think a support group would be a good way to start. I know several men who are on the brink of suicide because they are tired of their ex dragging them into court 2 or 3 times a year, talking about it and sharing experiance would help. How do we start this, I would like to see it happen.
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persecuted father

VALKYRIE

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2007, 02:20:25 PM »

The things that are allowed to happen at the "Friend of the Court" would not be allowed in A normal court of law. Why is this allowed to continue.
Non-custodial parents should not have to put up with harassment and be financially strangled by an embittered ex.
But here we have in our system of law, A branch that not only permits this but seems to promote it.
And the non-custodial parent is expected to "shut up and pay".
And if they have A problem with that they are labeled "Dead Beat Dad's".
Why are the financial obligations of A child, more often than not, the problem of one parent to provide, and not two.
When one parent can decide whether or not to work, but for the non-custodial parent, Pay, or go to jail! This is blatant descrimination.
And yet, This is A common practice at this office.
This has to change.

« Last Edit: August 22, 2007, 02:23:51 PM by VALKYRIE »
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Valkyrie.........

ladyjane

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2007, 02:58:04 PM »

Are you people trying to say that McMullen is the guy who wears a suit, acts like he is better than most citizens, has no compassion, takes advantage of the lower middle class and poor, and takes care of people with money who he thinks may be able to do something for him or get him somewhere?

Yes, That is him!
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caspar

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2007, 03:28:02 PM »

What goes around comes around ~~~  Wise Person

Wouldn't it be something if McMullens kids or grandkids went through a divorce and got assigned a case-worker who treated them the way McMullen had treated others in a negative way.   
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chuntley

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2007, 03:37:07 PM »

we could start out by setting a time and date to meet. I work crazy hours so we would have to set a time that most can meet. I suggest maybe the veterans park sunday around 3pm there is a picnic area there.

how does yhat sound

I have a pretty good relationship with Judge Holman and also Judge Wipert due to my div,, and friend of the court stuff,,

Just remember you will make more money and it the court orders stop when the child graduates or 19 + 6 months,, so this too shall pass
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eaglepride

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2007, 03:49:59 PM »

It's not a job to McMullen. It's a GAME!

I wouldn't doubt if he did have ties to a judge or former judge. Most of those guys in the Monroe court system are related or big time friends. They take care of each other. Yes, there are always the exceptions.

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persecuted father

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2007, 05:23:46 PM »

we could start out by setting a time and date to meet. I work crazy hours so we would have to set a time that most can meet. I suggest maybe the veterans park sunday around 3pm there is a picnic area there.

how does yhat sound

I have a pretty good relationship with Judge Holman and also Judge Wipert due to my div,, and friend of the court stuff,,

Just remember you will make more money and it the court orders stop when the child graduates or 19 + 6 months,, so this too shall pass
that sounds good get back to me with details I will see if i can swing that time. i work crazy hours myself. my ex is so crazy i am not sure it will ever stop I can see the kids being 25 and her still trying to take me to court for something or another.
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sullivan

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #23 on: August 23, 2007, 08:22:32 PM »

Any firm that says they deal with "men only" is simply using a marketing scheme to collect a larger retainer fee than the norm from men who think they need a place like that.  Any lawyer who does family law will represent the PERSON who hires them.  These firms that claim to understand the rights of men more do not understand more than the next lawyer.  Hire a lawyer in your area that you get a referral for.  The best person to hire is the person that understands the system in your county.

There are very few times that I can say that I agree with an attorney but in this instance LawGirl is correct .

I like so many of BOTH GENDERS was totally blown away at how the F.O.C. works or in many cases DOES NOT work for either party to a dysfunctional failed relationship and the real victims are the children that are either deprived of financial support by BOTH parents and / or emotional support by Both parents.

I will vary from agreement with LawGirl regarding retention of legal counsel BECAUSE IF you depend upon them totally to inform you of your rights within the law and the system , you will not learn the vital things you need to know on how to coexist and survive a system that is as it's title implies Friend of the Court ( Judge ) .

I have ALWAYS voiced an accurate criticism at the judiciary that fails to ENFORCE the law even handed and fair
( which is a subjective word ) but IF you do not know your rights and how to obtain them in a reasonably inexpensive way then in affect YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS.

keep in mind that LawGirl and her peers usually bill on a tenth of an hour basis , so every time you need to go in to take care of a matter , it is a few hundred dollars regardless of how big or small or outcome.

There is organizations like DADS & MOMS of Michigan   ( www.dadsofmichigan.org  ) of which there is a local chapter that meets in the Monroe area and is advertised in the Monday edition of the Monroe Evening News in the non profit group notification area explaining the focus and meeting time / place.

The F.O.C. employees are not the EVIL people they are portrayed and do not go home at night and drink blood for a nightcap ( although until I became knowledgable about the system , that is what I thought to.)

The first step to correcting the problem is to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you hope to accomplish and your motivation.If it is to satisfy a relational vendetta with your EX , save your time and money because that is "stinking thinking." If it is to arrive at a workable solution where BOTH parties can arrive at a point of puting the children FIRST , then the use of the F.O.C. as a mediator and facilitator might just work.

I'm not saying it is an easy task , but you and your EX will either compromise or destroy your children in that middle ground they will be in where no prisoners are taken and only the legal system wins.


J. Pat Mc Elligott

        P.S. Mediation beats Litigation Every Time!!!!!   
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persecuted father

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2007, 10:38:55 PM »

Any firm that says they deal with "men only" is simply using a marketing scheme to collect a larger retainer fee than the norm from men who think they need a place like that.  Any lawyer who does family law will represent the PERSON who hires them.  These firms that claim to understand the rights of men more do not understand more than the next lawyer.  Hire a lawyer in your area that you get a referral for.  The best person to hire is the person that understands the system in your county.

There are very few times that I can say that I agree with an attorney but in this instance LawGirl is correct .

I like so many of BOTH GENDERS was totally blown away at how the F.O.C. works or in many cases DOES NOT work for either party to a dysfunctional failed relationship and the real victims are the children that are either deprived of financial support by BOTH parents and / or emotional support by Both parents.

I will vary from agreement with LawGirl regarding retention of legal counsel BECAUSE IF you depend upon them totally to inform you of your rights within the law and the system , you will not learn the vital things you need to know on how to coexist and survive a system that is as it's title implies Friend of the Court ( Judge ) .

I have ALWAYS voiced an accurate criticism at the judiciary that fails to ENFORCE the law even handed and fair
( which is a subjective word ) but IF you do not know your rights and how to obtain them in a reasonably inexpensive way then in affect YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS.

keep in mind that LawGirl and her peers usually bill on a tenth of an hour basis , so every time you need to go in to take care of a matter , it is a few hundred dollars regardless of how big or small or outcome.

There is organizations like DADS & MOMS of Michigan   ( www.dadsofmichigan.org  ) of which there is a local chapter that meets in the Monroe area and is advertised in the Monday edition of the Monroe Evening News in the non profit group notification area explaining the focus and meeting time / place.

The F.O.C. employees are not the EVIL people they are portrayed and do not go home at night and drink blood for a nightcap ( although until I became knowledgable about the system , that is what I thought to.)

The first step to correcting the problem is to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you hope to accomplish and your motivation.If it is to satisfy a relational vendetta with your EX , save your time and money because that is "stinking thinking." If it is to arrive at a workable solution where BOTH parties can arrive at a point of puting the children FIRST , then the use of the F.O.C. as a mediator and facilitator might just work.

I'm not saying it is an easy task , but you and your EX will either compromise or destroy your children in that middle ground they will be in where no prisoners are taken and only the legal system wins.


J. Pat Mc Elligott

        P.S. Mediation beats Litigation Every Time!!!!!   
I am not so sure about mediation beating litagation as we have settled things in front of a mediator and six months later the EX is un happy with the agreement and we are back in court.she has no real reason except she can and I have to show up. I have only taken her to court one time in the past 11 years when her husband beat the crap out of her in front of the kids. the rest of the time it has been her and her bitterness. she is trying to destroy my marriage my credit and my life. It is starting to work, I cant afford to keep hiring lawyers, I am getting so stressed out I cant concentrate on my job, or my home life.
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chuntley

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2007, 08:53:14 AM »

J Pat are you a lawyer? as I remember the prosicuter for the foc's name was Pat or Patrica,, or somthing along that line. Kirt is a mediater  so what you are saying is that things should be solved there. Well from where I stood the only way any kind of agreement that my ex would agree with would entail me surrendering my entire pay check stop trying to see my Kids. 

I don't think most men walk into the foc with the intent of getting back at an ex, so that statement should be saved for the payee. Give them the speach about being fair and looking in a mirrior. Every man has left a foc hearing and looked in a mirrior and thought ,, what can I do?

There is a friend of the court hand book that most payee recieve. My ex had one that was given to her , and the judge at the time made sure she had one. 

I am going to be at the Soldiers and Sailor park Sunday @3pm for anyone that is interested in starting a support group for foc payees. The park is on Front street west of the water treatment plant  I will be driving a smal burgandy car.

 
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persecuted father

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #26 on: August 24, 2007, 09:20:41 AM »

I will try to make it there as well I drive believe it or not a burgandy jimmy...we really need to get this started if nothing else to have someone to talk to. I think , from seeing the posts and talking to my friends, there are alot of people that could use this.
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chuntley

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #27 on: August 24, 2007, 09:53:19 AM »

I will wait till 330pm. Hope to see all that are interested in or with a FOC support group.
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sullivan

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2007, 10:37:34 PM »

I will try to make it there as well I drive believe it or not a burgandy jimmy...we really need to get this started if nothing else to have someone to talk to. I think , from seeing the posts and talking to my friends, there are alot of people that could use this.

You gentlemen are trying to invent the wheel and preaching to the choir.

First of all , I am not the Patricia that you refer to that is one of the top officials at the F.O.C. but even she is just a spoke in the wheel that takes all the heat off the real culprits ( the judiciary ) .
 Another thing you got wrong was Kirt Mc Mullen's role @ F.O.C. as he is a referee and not a mediator and usually does the biding of what is best for F.O.C. , for you see they receive their funding not by your child support but because of your child support and there is a difference which I will not elaborate on as it entails an elaborate scheme where federal dollars actually flow into the state and then down to the local level that encourages single head of household  family existence.

Guess who that single family member will be??? and because they normally do not make as much as the other member ( A.K.A. male ) and the funding to the F.O.C. is derived by how much money goes through their books,---  that is the reason people like Kirt formulate their own ideas of what defines fair.There is a formula that they go by but if it calls for less then you were originally paying , they will not openly help you to reduce the amount as it affects their bottom line. The F.O.C. is a business run by the government that shields the judges from responsibility and criticism not the service people perceive it to be .

Many think their EX is the enemy , but the real enemy is a family court system that ENABLES your EX to wreck havoc on your life as you stated and in the process inadvertently and unintentionally destroy the children's ability to interact with the other parent in a positive manner.

The system is bias but it is biased not because they have this abundance or compassion for women and children  ( I  love them both ) but because they are biased toward the $$$$$$ that fund their positions.

I believe people need to be more educated regarding the system and then they will know how to coexist within the system .

I have had weekly meetings at Bobby's Kitchen on Wed. between 7:30--9:00 P.M. to have an open forum to discuss the matters you and others of BOTH GENDERS  have with the F.O.C. , JUDICIARY, ETC. but because people are APATHETIC and want to complain and not join together to accomplish anything , we ALL LOSE.

I won't join in a clandestine meeting at Soldiers & Sailors but encourage any that will to call me @ 734-240-0225 and leave a message and number I can contact you and maybe assist in addressing your issues.

There is no charge or expectation other then mutual respect and the knowledge that DADS & MOMS of Michigan and the other Equal Parenting groups that I belong to ( Fathers 4 Justice--A Child's Right-Children Need Both Parents --Family Rights Council ) are not HE-MAN WOMAN HATER organizations but are service ,education and support organizations to make some sense of what both genders and especially their children experince , which at best is madness and agenda laden . The ball is in your court and good luck regardless--we know you will need LUCK and more.   
J. Pat Mc Elligott 
( My real name and yes I have an active case in the family courts )   
« Last Edit: August 24, 2007, 11:10:34 PM by sullivan »
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chuntley

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Re: Is discrimination against the law or not ??
« Reply #29 on: August 25, 2007, 02:52:45 AM »

Thank You J.Pat for your invitation but I wil have to decline at this time. I would like to assist those that are struggling through the FOC system with so much as a kind shoulder to lean on or a ear to chew on. I am not angry at the FOC nor am I angry at my ex.  I am not trying to reinvent the same type wheel that fits your situation , I am simply wanting to help in a non blaming way. In other words ,,a basic wheel for the simple person.

So again I will be at the soldiers and sailor park sunday from 3pm till 3:30pm and longer if others show up. hope to see all interested then
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