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Author Topic: Political jokes.  (Read 327247 times)

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livewire

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2220 on: May 29, 2011, 08:24:31 AM »

    Michigan's U.P. Declares War on the USA

    President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
 
    "Hello, President Obama," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. "'Dis here is Sven, over here at the Rod and Gun Club in White Pine, Michigan.    Ve don't like some a yer policies so I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

    "Well, Sven," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," said Sven, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Ole, and the whole pool team from the Rod."

    Barack paused, "I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Wow," said Sven, "I'll haf ta call ya back!"

    Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again. "Mr. Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
 
    "And what equipment would that be, Sven?" Barack asked.

    "Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd's farm tractor."

    President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
 
    "All right den, said Sven. "I'll be getting back to ya."

     Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day... "President Obama, da war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne!   We up an' modified Ole's ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns in da cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"

    Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat.    "I must tell you, Sven, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.    My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.    And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

    "Two million you say?," said Sven, "l'll haf' to call you back."

    Sure enough, Sven called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack.  "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Vell, sir," said Sven, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's yust no vay ve can feed two million prisoners."
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BigRedDog

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2221 on: May 29, 2011, 08:31:29 AM »

I had a suite-mate in college from White Pine...   

that sounds oh so like their thought process 8) 8) 8)
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BigRedDog

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2222 on: May 29, 2011, 08:32:18 AM »

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Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2223 on: May 29, 2011, 12:02:04 PM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

Frenchfry

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2224 on: May 31, 2011, 12:14:24 PM »

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This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2225 on: June 01, 2011, 09:01:48 AM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

Frenchfry

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2226 on: June 01, 2011, 09:08:52 AM »

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This is what I see when I visit:

"Sorry Frenchfry, you are banned from posting and sending personal messages on this forum.
This ban is not set to expire."

No emails, no warnings, no communication whatsoever...just that ban

May be what happened to the other libs as well.

I guess disabling the report to admin link only on the lib side was indicative of the slanted games they play.

Enjoy your spoon-fed Faux News type right-wing echo-chamber.

Edited to add:

This is the only way to answer some of the questions posed:

1) I did nothing to warrant the banishment, it's political.

2) It's the router that's blocked but considering all the nonsense right-wing games being played by those running the site...it's just not worth it to bypass the banishment block.

3) The moron stalkers from MT contemplating a visit will be considered a threat and can expect to have a bad day if they act upon those idiotic thoughts.

bumfunkegypt@live.com

Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2227 on: June 01, 2011, 12:56:54 PM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2228 on: June 02, 2011, 08:15:05 AM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

Collegekid

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2229 on: June 02, 2011, 09:27:37 AM »



This one actually is easy to explain. It takes years for the new ones to be made, hence bush bought them and they were delivered to us during the last 2 years.
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Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2230 on: June 03, 2011, 05:03:24 PM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

Professor H

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2231 on: June 04, 2011, 12:10:00 PM »

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First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl.
Marion Berry

But we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.
Nancy Pelosi

The Fuzz

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2232 on: June 04, 2011, 02:21:36 PM »

LOL, that's funny.
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BigRedDog

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2233 on: June 06, 2011, 10:47:53 AM »

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Friends can email me at bigreddog481 at gmail dot com.  Non friends can just save their energy!!!

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BigRedDog

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Re: Political jokes.
« Reply #2234 on: June 06, 2011, 11:15:48 AM »

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Friends can email me at bigreddog481 at gmail dot com.  Non friends can just save their energy!!!

"It's always easy to come up with a solution to someone else's problems".
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